Too Young and Blind (High School Hamilton)

He's Gone

Trigger Warning: Suicide

Alex

I hadn't heard the drumming of feet behind me as I sped down the street, I didn't care about the gray clouds slowly collecting in the sky, I didn't care if leaving without saying goodbye was rude to Mr. Washington. All I cared about was Peter, my cousin, my caretaker, my best friend. When I threw open the doors to my house I saw him, hanging. A crack of lightning in the background briefly illuminated Peter's dark curls, dangling from his head. His neck tilted at a sickening angle, his brown unseeing eyes that stared endlessly at the ground. I didn't, couldn't refused to register that the man who teased me about making friends, the man who laughed at a drunk woman narrating Harriet Tubman, the man who promised to take me to see Les Mis...I couldn't believe that he had departed from this world. This wasn't happening, that must be it. This was just a prank, yeah, I mean I pulled a prank just a little while ago, Charles Lee must be behind this for revenge.

The gasp is what brought me back, it was John Laurens. The look of pure horror on his face made it clear that this was real, that he was gone, that John was traumatized for life because I had led him here. Everything was real, and for some reason I couldn't help but blame myself. Peter texted me before he died and John followed me here to see this.

John

Alex, oh my god, Alex! My only instinct was to get Alex away from his cousin. When my eyes locked with Alex's he looked like he had aged 20 years in 5 seconds. I grabbed his arm and forced him away from the hanging body, I didn't know Alex's cousin but I know Alex.

"Alex, look at me," I said while keeping my voice even and calm despite the raging emotions inside of me and the image of a body swinging in a doorway invading my mind.

Mutely, Alex looked me in the eye, "Alex, don't you dare blame yourself," I ordered. I don't know how it feels to lose a cousin or a father figure, but I know how I felt when James drowned and I refused to allow Alex to feel the same.

Alex only blinked at my statement, he didn't even grunt. I could feel myself wanting to cry but I refused to let it happen, I had no reason to cry, but I wanted to for Alex.

TurtleBoi: Alex's cousin hung himself

I didn't reply to any of the mass of texts coming in asking how Alex was, I only told them to let them know why Alex ran off and also so they'd call somebody to come and get the body. Alex was staring straight ahead now, I sat down beside him and did the only thing I could; I held him to my chest and ran my hands through his hair, it's what mom did for me when James died and it made me feel slightly better.