LOVED OR NOT.

PART 24

***BEACH ***
JAY'S POV

I was walking on the beach were Snow, David, Neal, Emma and Henry were hanging out yesterday. I don't know how or what my future lies but I am willing to go forward. I didn't want everyone to start reading my stories. I went back to my family spot from yesterday. I sat down and pulled out my notebook out of my backpack. When I started to read my mind went to this kid
that I am carrying is going to grow up in this crazy family life. Twenty minutes after starting reading I heard my name being called. I looked around and it was my birth mother, Snow White, great not what I wanted to deal with.

I said, " Mom, I am here what is going on?" I really didn't want to say anything but something inside of me just said something.

Snow said as she was coming over to me,"Jay sweetie, why did you leave without saying anything? You scared me. I don't want you to think or you can't talk to us. Please talk to me. " I did know I could talk to them but I couldn't trust them that is going to be the hard thing for me.

I said," My mom had brought back my stories with her when Emma and her went back. I know I can talk but trusting you guys is going to be one of the hardest thing I have to do. I don't know how to do that. You have to believe me when I say I am trying to trust you all. Mommy can you tell me why everyone is so worried about me all the time and don't lie to me."

Snow said," We will take day by day with your trust. I want you to know that we are here for you no matter if you don't trust us yet. We worry about you because we don't want you back into the hospital again. We love you. Can I read one of your stories?"

I didn't want her or anyone to read my stories because of my spelling is horrible. I said," Only if you promise me that you wont laugh or try to fix it ?"  I really hope that she would just walk away.

Snow said as she is coming to sit down by me," Why don't you read them to me and we can talk about them as you read them. How about that? I brought some fruit for some snacks when we get hungry.  I thought I can hear your stories in your voice. I can stay with you."

I said," Alright, I will read you my stories. Why don't we go back in time for dinner? I didn't mean to scare you guys at all." I thought she came out here for a different reason. I started to read to her and when we  ran out of fruits. I said," Snow, what time is it? I am getting hungry. "

Snow got up to look at her watch and said," It is almost 6:30pm. Why don't we go back to get something to eat and  we let you and Sharna talk bit. Do you want to go to school here in town?"

I didn't know how well I would be in school but I said," I can try that I all I can say is that I will try. Why are you asking? They don't need to know that I am pregnant right?"

Snow said," No, they don't need to know about your pregnancy. If you are having an episode I will help you out and will Sharna. I will ask Sharna if she would mind on helping you out. Do you know when you are starting the episodes?"

I did know when most of the time when I was about to start an episode. I know I had to answer her but these episodes aren't as  simple as a yes or no answer. I said to her," Yes and no. I know most of the time but all the time. Sharna knows when they are about to start. You ask her what to look for."

We went  back to the car. We went back to the apartment. While we were in the car, I said," How could you send any of us girls up? Did you ever think about us?"

Snow looked like she was about to cry and she said in a sad voice," I thought I was pregnant with one baby. I was told that she was going to be the savior. When you were born, I was so happy to have two beautiful girls with the man I love. When Emma came into ours lives again. I started to remember you and every time I wanted to go and look for you. One big problem after another stopped me from looking. I wonder what your first words was or be there for you on the first day of school. I really want you to live a good life and now that I know how bad you had it. I want to be there for you and we can help you out with anything. We do love you. "