Gabriella Gilbert Two || Vampire Diaries

Chapter Thirty - Seven

Edited

    Anger, fear, sadness, guilt, grief—

    It's a nasty cycle that won't stop repeating itself no matter what I do or think or feel. But there's only one thought that keeps repeating itself in my head:

    Jeremy's dead and I couldn't protect him.

    I don't have the energy to think about everything that's happened lately. I'll feel guilty about that later, but for now, Jeremy's the only thing on my mind.

    I'm too scared to touch him.

    I've kneeled maybe two feet away, tears streaming down my cheeks. Even with my humanity back, I still feel the need to do whatever I can to protect him.

    What do I do?

    What can I do?

    I don't know where anyone is. Bonnie, who was dying when I first arrived, suddenly disappeared. Do I do something about that? What do I need to worry about? Who do I need to worry about?

    I can hear footsteps approaching from behind me, but I don't bother looking to see who it is. I can tell from her gasp and his sigh that it's Elena and Stefan.

    "No," Elena whispers from behind me. "No, no, no!" I hear her exclaim. She runs past me to kneel closer to him. She's braver than I am, and I'm only saying that cause she has the guts to pull him close as she sobs.

    She gasps as she grabs his hand, the one with the ring, before pulling him closer. "It's okay, it's okay. The ring is on, Jeremy. You'll be back," Elena's voice sobs. "You're gonna be fine."

    She repeats those words over, and over again.

    But he won't come back.

    Jeremy's a supernatural being, meaning that the ring will not work.

    Jeremy is dead.

    I feel a hand on my shoulder, forcing me to look over at him. Stefan's looking at my tears with pity.

    "I'm sorry," I whisper, it being the only thing I can think to say. "I'm sorry. I couldn't protect him—"

    Stefan's quick to kneel beside me. He wraps his arms around me, forcing me to sob even harder. What am I supposed to do?

    How am I supposed to feel? Everything I should've felt without my humanity keeps reminding me of the different things I should feel. I can't look away from him because I still have that urge to protect him.

    Seeing Elena holding him that tightly is making me antsy.

    I pull away from Stefan enough to look him in the eye. "We need to get him out of here," I say wetly, "I can't protect him well enough when we're here."

    "I'm going to get the four of us out of here," Stefan corrects, "Damon's going to look for Bonnie on the island." He uses his thumbs to wipe my tears away. "Take Elena with you, I'll be right behind you guys with him."

    This was quite possibly the worst time for my humanity to return.

    But if I turn it off right now, it'll only make it worse.

    "The compulsion," I let out before tapping my head as a gesture, "I can still feel it." Stefan's brows furrow in confusion. "All I want right now is to protect him, but he's dead. How do I fix that?"

    Stefan swallows as he's trying to think of what to say. "Rebekah's gone. We think she went after Katherine."

    The thought of Katherine makes my fists clench, but I try to ignore it to realize what he's saying.