This is not the end~ Fourth book in PLMI series

Secrets-22

-Mackenzie's POV-
I watched as Liam and Britt got into the limo, which would take them to the venue of the reception. Everyone was throwing rice and cheering while I stayed silent, happy tears falling down my face.
"What's wrong love?" Niall asked,smiling at me as the car drove away. All the guests started to leave...heading to the reception I guess.
"Nothing. Nothing." I replied, wrapping my arms around his waist tightly. He rested his head on top of mine in the cold air as it started to snow lightly.
"I promise you. Someday....we'll get married." He whispered and my breathing hitched. Will he still want to marry me once....he knows...? He said our love is unconditional.....is he lying? I don't think so.
"Niall?" I asked quietly, my voice shaking.
"Yeah love?" He asked, releasing me and grabbing my hand, walking me to his car. The sound of screaming girls and paps was loud,but I ignored it.
"You'd love me....no matter what right?" I asked quietly as he opened the door to his car for me. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up. He closed the door and walked around to the other side, getting in. He turned to me instantly and grabbed both of my hands in his big ones, running his thumb over my knuckles.
"You know I will always love you." He whispered as he leaned forward.
"No matter what?" I asked and he nodded, leaning in to peck my lips gently.
"Of course. Why so many odd questions? Is something wrong?" He asked as one of his hands landed on my bare leg.
I gulped and shook my head quickly, not wanting him to know the truth. But...if I don't tell him soon..this will eat me up inside. We tell each other almost everything. I sighed and avoided his eyes as tears came to my eyes.
"No. Of course not." I replied, but my voice shook, making me sound weak and tired. He gently grabbed my chin in his fingers and tilted my head up, so I was forced to look at him.
"Tell me the truth." He whispered. His eyes were intense looking, so I pulled my face out of his hand.
"It is the truth." I lied. He sighed and shrugged, as if he were defeated as he started the car.
I twisted my hands in my lap nervously as he drove. The car was awkwardly silent and I didn't like it. Not one bit. The tension between us seemed to suck all of the air out of the room, making it hard to breathe.
"I thought we had an understanding. I thought you said you would talk to me if something happened." Niall whispered, sounding hurt.
"Niall." I started, but he didn't let me finish.
"Did you do it again?" He asked quickly, sounding as if he knew the answer to the question already.
"No...not...since the last time..." I whispered, holding my breath.
"Then what is this about!?!" He said, his voice starting to rise. "You said you'd talk to me. If you're keeping secrets from me...then this...isn't going to work.." He concluded and I sighed. I dropped his hand and he moved it back to the wheel.
"Niall....you...don't understand..." I mumbled and he groaned in frustration. His hands gripped the wheel so tightly that his knuckles were beginning to turn white.
"Of course I don't!! Because you won't tell me!" He said in exasperation, his voice held pain and tiredness. As if...he were tired of me. I wouldn't blame him if he was.
I sighed and ran a hand over my face, feeling exposed. I held back tears by not blinking. My vision got blurry and I gently let the tears fade away, definitely not going to let them fall.
"I try so hard to help you Mackenzie...really I do....what..." Niall went on and I stopped him.
"Just......can you just.....listen for a damn second...?" I said, my voice getting frustrated. He sighed, but nodded anyways as he gazed at the road.
"This isn't a joke Niall. This isn't something I'm comfortable talking about just yet. I'll...tell you...of course....but...not now. You understand? This isn't like last time where you force me to tell you. Because....I will not talk about this until I feel.....less embarrassed.....do you understand me?" I asked. He sighed and slowly looked at me.
"Embarrassed? What's there to be embarrassed about?" Niall asked slowly, his voice sounding confused.
"Nothing. It's just....I hate being in a fight with you. And...today is supposed to be a happy day.I don't know if you're mad at me or not....but....I still love you..even if you are. At least try to fake being happy for tonight....can you do that for me?" I asked and he slowly nodded, not taking his eyes off the road.

-Niall's POV-
I gripped the steering wheel tightly in my hands. Why the heck can't she just tell me...? We have an understanding. I told her I'm always there for her. I risked my life for her..numerous times....yet...she still won't tell me everything.
Does she think she can handle it on her own? Because....that's not a good thing either. If she doesn't tell me soon...I might just explode. My mind started to try to rant off reasons what she had to tell me. She was pregnant? Impossible. She's leaving again? I refuse to believe that. She cut again? No, she told me she didn't. She almost committed suicide again? That could be a possibility......
My heart immediately dropped to my stomach and I sighed and reached for her hand, gently holding it as I pulled into the country club where the reception would be.
I parked in a parking space and turned to her. I didn't waste time with apologies and words. Instead, I put all the words in my lips, by kissing her. I instantly leaned further into the kiss and grasped the back of her neck, kissing her harder. She seemed......confused at first, so she didn't kiss back. But soon...her lips melted against mine and she let me kiss her slowly. She slowly pulled away from the kiss and my hand slid off of her neck. She looked down at bit her lip gently, making me want to kiss her again. I tried, but she turned her head, making my lips hit her cheek. I sighed and stopped trying, pulling back and sitting back into my seat.
"Why did you do that?" She asked slowly as her green eyes met mine.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be mad and I shouldn't have rose my voice. I know that you'll tell me when you feel comfortable." I sighed and she smiled.
"I'm sorry too. That...I can't.......tell you." She whispered, her voice shaking as a tear fell out of her eye. I frowned as I watched her brush it away as soon as it fell and smile at me.
"Let's have some fun tonight." She said, grinning and we both got out of the car. We were instantly bombarded by paps, which surrounded us. But...surprisingly, they weren't the pushy ones. They were the ones that usually kept their distance, but still made me feel claustrophobic. Mackenzie smiled at them and waved before pulling me through the path that they had made for us to get through.
My mind was other places as Mackenzie led me to hug Liam. She hugged Britt and I was spaced out. The whole time...all I could think was.....
What can't she tell me? What is she hiding from me?

A/n- Boring chapter. Sorreh? Actually...I'm not. I'm having a stupid day so...that's all you get.