This is not the end~ Fourth book in PLMI series

Bonus chapter 3

*THIS WAS BEFORE THE EPILOGUE

-Mackenzie-

I woke up slowly, my head aching from the crying last night. My eyes felt puffy and were sore, my body screaming at me to stay where I was.

I pulled Niall's pillow to my chest quickly, his scent still present in it. Shivering, I reached out slowly to grab my phone, glancing over the meaningless texts that people had sent me. A lot were from Niall's friends.....well, Niall's famous friends that is.

I scrolled through them, not caring about any of them. Big names were signed under their caring texts, trying to reach out to me. Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, Ariana Grande, Shawn Mendes, and even people that I know for a fact that Niall had never met. People must have been worried about me. I was off the grid, gone rogue, some people would say.

I wasn't worried, I just wanted them all out of my hair. Niall is gone and all they can talk about is me. Me. Me and my stupid self. Niall is the one who deserves the attention. He's the one who died, I'm just the aftermath, don't talk about me.

All the stupid news cites absorbed in tracking celebrities personal lives were plastered with my name, with Niall's name and of course, Louis and Zayn's names. Since they had gotten into drugs, the tabloids had found out quickly, not showing any mercy with Niall's death.

I unlocked my phone slowly, pulling up Instagram and scrolling through comments that people had left for me. Scrolling through messages my followers had left for me. I blinked at all of them, all of them saying the same thing. "I'm sorry".

I didn't want them to be sorry. I didn't want their sympathy because their sympathy couldn't help me. I was all out of the familiar hope and happiness that Niall brought to my life. I was fresh out of kindness and caring. The world had took me, wrung me out, and drained me for all I had, leaving me a pathetic mess. I could feel myself being tugged down further and further into the pit of darkness, but I couldn't seem to pull myself back out.

I turned over to Niall's side of the bed and grasped the sheet, closing my eyes tightly. No more tears came, so I gently pushed the covers off of me and got up. I swayed slightly, the pain in my head increasing.

There was a small hunger pain kicking at my stomach, but I ignored it, to into my thoughts to buy into it.

I opened drawers, looking for one thing and one thing only. I finally found it in the table next to Niall's side of the bed, his phone. I tried to turn it on, but it was dead, so I had to plug it in and wait for it to turn on.

When it did, I unlocked it, ignoring texts that were sent ages ago that he hadn't bothered to answer while he was in the hospital. I looked through all of his texts first, the ones between him and I were the ones I paid the most attention to.

His cracked screen made me close my eyes as a tear fell slowly out of my sore eyes. He had enough money to buy a hundred new phones but he kept this one because he said it had memories in it. This bittersweet memory made me bite my lip and click on the texts between him and his mum.

I thought briefly that maybe I was invading his privacy, but I shook it off, realizing that he had let me use his phone before. As soon as I opened the texts, the last one he sent popped up and I furrowed my eyebrows together, smiling through my pain.

Hey mum, I'm in the hospital again. Had some trouble breathing. I'm sure that Harry or Mackenzie or someone will call you, but I just wanted to tell you myself so, you wouldn't worry. I don't know if I'll get through this one mum. Mackenzie's okay, I promise. She's just really depressed, but I'm working on it. I love her too much to be this sad over me. Tell Greg and Dad I say hi. Love you so much.