This is not the end~ Fourth book in PLMI series

I don't know-34

A/n- I feel like death and I'm so tired. Too many tests today...ehhhh

-Kendall's POV-
I was mad. Angry. I cannot believe Harry. He's such a jerk. Sure, I'm probably getting mad over something silly, but I don't care. It's the principal of the thing. I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I quickly changed out of my cute outfit into some shorts and a baggy sweatshirt of mine. I ran a hand through my messed up hair and wiped the smudged makeup off my face, grabbing my phone off the dresser.
I suddenly heard the door of the flat open and close, as if somebody had come in. I frowned as I listened more closely and heard crying. I frowned deeper as I opened the door and walked out, shoving my phone in my sweatshirt pocket.
I stopped when I saw Alexa, Mackenzie and Niall in the living room. Alexa was sobbing into Mackenzie's shoulder. Niall was sitting awkwardly next to her, rubbing Alexa's back.
"What happened!?" I asked and Alexa looked up immediately, her eyes as red as her hair. My eyebrows furrowed together as I saw Harry enter the flat, running a hand through his curly hair. He glanced at me a second, his eyes pleading and sad. They were slightly red too, as if he had been crying. I instantly felt bad. He came to stand next to me, but didn't touch me. He seemed...scared to.
"Niall......?" He asked. Niall looked up at him and rose his eyebrows. "Can I talk to you?" Harry asked, shoving his hands into his pockets. I sighed, walking over to the couch as Niall got up. I sat down in his place and he followed Harry out the door.
Alexa immediately moved from Mackenzie's shoulder to mine, sobbing into my sweatshirt, getting it wet with her tears. I sighed and stroked her hair as she cried. I looked up at Mackenzie, who flipped her hair over her shoulder, before pulling it up into a ponytail.
"What happened?!" I mouthed to her over Alexa's shoulder. She sighed, biting her lip.
"I'll tell you later..." she mouthed back. I nodded as I rocked Alexa back and forth slowly, trying to get her to stop crying. I glanced at Mackenzie, my eyes wide. She rose her eyebrows at me and Alexa looked up. Mackenzie and I both hugged Alexa for awhile. But her crying didn't cease. Mackenzie sighed and ran a hand through her hair slowly, before putting her lips close to Alexa's ear.
"Can you calm down?" She whispered. Alexa continued to cry as if she didn't hear. Mackenzie sighed again, as if she were debating something.

-Mackenzie's POV-
​ I sighed and ran a hand through my hair again, looking at Kendall, who was watching me. I stole myself and leaned down next to Alexa's ear again and began to sing quietly in her ear. Her breathing slowly stopped becoming so hitched and her tears came out more slowly as she looked up at me. I smiled and she bit her lip, looking down and wiping her face off on her sleeve.
"S...sorry..." she stammered. I shook my head, pulling her frizzy hair up into a ponytail for her.
"It's perfectly fine." I replied, shaking my head.
"Oh my gosh. What happened?!" Kendall asked again, clearly beside herself with worry.
"I...k..kissed...z..Zayn....and.....me and Louis...." she stammered, but she couldn't go on, dropping her face to her hands and shaking her head as she ran a hand over her face.
"They broke up." I finished and Kendall winced. But her expression changed suddenly, becoming angry.
"Did Zayn kiss you or did you kiss him?" Kendall asked suddenly. Alexa looked up. Her face was sad. Not angry.
"He...k..kissed...m..me..." she stammered out and Kendall ran a hand over her face, before getting up.
"I need to have a talk with that boy." Kendall said, but Alexa grabbed her arm, stopping her from leaving.
"Please...don't....I...I'm..the o...one who needs to talk to him. Don't.....get mad or anything. I...don't want to make things worse." She said. Kendall nodded, but still walked out the door.

-Louis's POV-
I'm so mad. I could punch the world. I walked down the street, pulling the hood of my hoodie up and over my head, blocking my face from the paps that were following me.
I growled and flipped them off, knowing this probably wasn't a good idea, but I didn't care. I turned the corner and quickly headed into a bar and sat down, slapping money on the bar. The bartender looked at me, wiping his hands off on a towel as he came up to me.
"What cha want Lou?" He asked and I sighed, running a hand over my face and through my hair.
"Anything strong." I replied. He nodded, bringing me a drink. I nodded to him as he took the money. I come here often. Just mostly to watch football and stuff. Plus, me and the lads would come here just for a lads day. That's why the bartender knows me. I took a big drink of the strong liquid and blinked.
The bartender laughed, looking at the expression on my face. "Little strong?"
"That'll burn my brains out and make my stomach bleed. Give me a beer instead." I said. He nodded and put one down on the counter, shoving it towards me. I took a long, deep drink of it after popping the lid off.
"What are you doing here today?" He asked, leaning on the counter. I sighed, rubbing my face.
"Girl problems. I'm aiming to get drunk." I replied. He shook his head, rolling his eyes. I couldn't really remember his name. Maybe it was the slight buzz I had already gotten from the beer and the strong drink before. Or..maybe it was just my horrid memory with names. I don't know. Whatever.
"What did you do now?" He asked. I shook my head, finishing my drink quickly and slapping down more money. He handed me another beer and popped it open.
"Nothing. She cheated. With my best mate." I said, taking another big gulp. He shook his head as my head buzzed from the alcohol. My stomach churned at the image of Alexa's lips pressed against Zayn's. I shuddered and took another drink, finishing that one. I continued to drink and drink and drink. Trying to wash away my problems I suppose. It didn't work. By the fourth or fifth drink, I was stoned.

-Mackenzie's POV-
"You can leave and go back to your flat. I can take care of her." Kendall whispered and I stood up, sighing. I hugged Alexa tightly again, as tears still fell down her face. It broke my heart. I kissed her cheek gently.
"It will be okay love. I promise." I whispered. She nodded and I released her to embrace Kendall.
"You okay?" She asked, whispering in my ear. I shrugged, moving her hair away from her ear.
"Thanks."
"For?"
"Being my friend. I love you." I said. She nodded, pulling out of our hug. I walked out of their flat and headed back to mine, closing the door behind me quickly. Jess ran up to me, sniffing around my feet. For some reason, I felt.....depressed. I felt....as if...I dunno. Everything was all my fault. I fell to my knees and hugged Jesse tightly around his neck, beginning to cry into his fur. I didn't know why I was crying. I didn't know what was happening to me. What is happening to me? I can't feel anything. Nothing.
I got up slowly, leaving Jesse behind as I walked into Niall's and my room. (A/n- Niall's and my? Does that make sense? Oh welll) I headed into the bathroom and looked in the mirror at my reflection. It didn't look like....like me. This girl is too weird looking. She....doesn't look like me. I sighed, looking to the counter where I saw a razor blade. I winced and looked away, running a hand through my hair. I tried to resist this urge, but for some reason....I wasn't thinking. I reached my hand out and grabbed the razor, twisting it in my fingers. My wrist tingled. I bit my lip and looked back at the mirror. I looked back down at my scarred arm and pressed the blade down hard. Blood pooled up on my arm and I winced, looking away as I cut six more times, sighing each time and leaning my head back. My head started to pound and I instantly felt horrible. I backed away from the counter quickly, dropping the razor to the floor with a sickening plink sound on the tile. I stumbled on the towel in front of the shower and ran back into me and Niall's room.
I began to cry as I searched for my phone, looking in our blankets and comforter, digging for the wretched thing. I cursed as I finally found it. My hands shook as I unlocked it and clicked on Niall's number, calling him. It rang twice before he answered.
"Hey babe." Niall answered, his voice sounding tired.
"Niall.....help..." I stammered out, through my tears. Niall gasped and I could practically see his face over the phone. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks.
"I'll be right there love." He said quickly, hanging up. Less than a minute later, Niall came through the door quickly, looking scared. He saw my arm and ran to me, engulfing me in a tight hug.
"What happened..?" He asked quietly, his voice cracking and low.
"I.....don't know....." I whispered, telling him the absolute truth.

​​​​​​​A/n- I feel like I am fading away.......