*THIS IS AFTER THE EPILOGUE
-Mackenzie-
I snuck out of the house slowly, easing the front door shut behind me. The house was silent tonight. Harry had taken Gabe over to Louis's house and they were staying there tonight. Zayn was asleep in the guest room where he had passed out after a fun filled day of chasing after Gabe.
Slowly, I walked down the porch to my car and got in, starting the engine quickly. I drove to my destination with regret and.....so much nostalgia. I didn't know how this would all pan out, nor how he would react.
But I knew I had to do it anyway. I hadn't seen him in so long and I had to make things right between us. I still loved him, I wasn't quite sure how, but I did. Maybe it was like a brother, or a friend, or perhaps something more, but I still loved him.
I parked far away and decided a long walk was best for my mental state. To say the least, I wasn't that far from breaking down. No one except me knew I was here, which was most likely a bad decision. However, I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want someone to come to "protect me". I could do that all on my own, it was the only reason I was still alive. And, I wasn't sure how they would all react to me seeing Bradley again.
And besides, if I get mauled by fans and die I'll be that much closer to Niall....right?
But, I wasn't too worried. No one along the road gave me more than a second glance. My hood was down, but a beanie covered my head. I seemed to fit into the crowd that was growing outside the stadium. I kept my eyes low and soon pulled up my hood out of pure superstition. I felt like someone was watching me, and God knows they probably were.
I kept quiet until the line went down and handed the security guard my ticket. Unfortunately, after getting through the doors, they insisted on me taking off my sweatshirt and hat to go through the metal detectors. I brushed my hair in front of my face and walked through quickly.
Thankfully, no one seemed to notice me. I was fucking glad. I didn't feel like dealing with fans, or getting a cramp in my hand from signing autographs.
"Excuse me miss. Can I help you find your seat-" someone asked me and I turned but startled when someone let out a high pitched scream.
"Mackenzie!" Someone screamed and I winced, closing my eyes and wishing for this nightmare to disappear.
"Come with me." The girl that was going to help me find my seats said. I turned and she grabbed my arm, pulling me with her through the crowd quickly before we were soon running away from girls.
"Shit!" I exclaimed as I ran after the security guard faster. She pulled me through a door and locked it behind us. It led to a long hallway that looked like the ones I used to roam in before the concerts.
"Thank you so so much." I thanked her, touching her shoulder gently.
"No problem. Really." She replied, looking at my ticket and sighed.
"You have VIP, but I'm thinking you're a VIP without this ticket anyway. You know these boys?" She asked. I nodded as I followed her down the hallway. We took several turns until coming to a longer hallway.
"I know you, you've played here before?" She asked and I nodded again.
"Yeah, I thought I'd just come to see my friends perform. I haven't seen them in a long time and I kinda wanted to, you know, surprise them, and maybe apologize for being dumb." I admitted. She laughed at me and shook her head as we turned one more corner.
I knew where we were, and swallowed nervously. She stopped and knocked on the door in front of her. A man opened the door that I didn't know, probably a manager or security, I figured.
"There's a guest for....." she trailed, looking at me.
"For umm....Bradley..." I replied. The man looked at me for a second before his eyebrows furrowed. His lips curved into a smirk and he shook his head.
"Mackenzie? Mackenzie Johnson? Is that you?" He asked and I nodded slowly.
"It's Horan actually but yeah, that's me. Can I umm, maybe see Bradley for awhile?" I asked cautiously and he chuckled.
"Oh yeah. Right. Of course." He said, letting me into their dressing room. I walked in to see all four of them laying around the room in relaxed states.
James was the first to notice my presence and looked up from his guitar, his mouth dropping open. "Mackenzie?" He asked, and I nodded and smiled at him. He ran over to hug me gently, afraid I would break it seemed. Tris and Connor waved at me and I nodded at the two of them, but I was only concerned about Bradley's state of mind.
He was looking at me with an awed expression and the air seemed heavy in the room, like everyone was waiting for his reaction, but he was delaying it. He finally looked up at me and got up, walking towards me.
When he got close enough, he hugged me tightly to him, his strong arms comforting me like they always had. He didn't say anything, just hugged me tighter, his soft embrace giving me a sense of nostalgia.
"I missed you......so much." I whispered into his ear, reaching my hand up to caress his hair. He sighed gently, pulling back to look at me. He glanced at everyone in the room, before pulling me out into the hallway so we could be alone.
"I'm sorry." He whispered as soon as he had closed the door behind us. "Oh God, I'm so sorry." He grabbed my hands in front of me.
"Sorry...for what? I pushed you away. I put up the wall between us. I was the one who didn't pick up the phone Bradley, not you." I said quietly. He smiled down at his hands sadly before looking back up at me.
"But I should have been there for you. You wanted me to be there, and I should have." He whispered. I closed my eyes.
"It isn't your fault." I insisted, shaking my head. "I shouldn't have led you on, shouldn't have strung you along when I knew I was in love with Niall in the first place." Admitting this to him made my heart ache in my chest.
"What happened...after I left?" He asked, and I sighed.
"Rehab, mostly. Gabe's birth wasn't great to me and the alcohol didn't help me any. I was in the hospital for awhile, but...I missed a lot of Gabe's childhood, because of...because of my problems." I said, ashamed.
He nodded slowly, but hugged me again tighter this time.
"I've missed you, so so much." He whispered into my hair, stroking down the long locks. "I want to start again. I want us to start again." He said quietly. His hair was so much longer than the last time I saw him and kind of resembled Harry's before he had cut it.
"I'd like that," I replied slowly, going in to kiss his cheek gently, except, he turned his head at the last minute and our lips locked.
A whole bunch of memories flashed through my mind all at once, and I gasped against his mouth. I didn't resist him as he gently pushed me against the wall so that my back rested against it.
I put my hand over his cheek as we kissed, wanting to feel more of him. His skin was soft and his curls tickled my fingers. He may have tasted different than Niall, and felt different, but it was a good different.
He pulled back and grinned at me. "Was that enough of a start for you?"
"You really have some moves Brad. I have to admit that." I rolled my eyes.
He pulled me in for another hug again and held me tightly for a couple minutes before releasing me. "How's the rest of them?" He asked, talking about the boys mostly.
"They're okay. Time has helped. They still arent the same, but they've all stuck together. That's the main thing that has helped them all." I whispered. He nodded slowly, looking down at the ground before looking up at me.
"I know Niall and I may have had our differences, and....I was so jealous of him...but I looked up to him, and....in a weird way, I miss him too." He said slowly, his lips pulling up into a strained smile. I bit my lip and squeezed his hand, tears welling up in my eyes.
"You have no idea how much that means to me." I whispered. He smiled down at me and nodded slowly before he finally noticed the VIP necklace around my neck. He rolled his eyes and took it from me, throwing it on the table behind him.
"You really bought this? All you had to do was call me Kenz, you didn't have to spend money to see us." He rolled his eyes. I laughed quietly and looked down at my hands before looking back into his dark, brown eyes.
"I was scared," I admitted. "And, I have more than enough money anyway." I added. He smiled gently, his eyes wrinkling up in a cute way.
"You didn't come here with anyone? No security or anything? No Harry?" Bradley asked, pouting as he said Harry's name. I laughed at him and bit my lip.
"No, I thought I could pull it off too, but your fans freaked out on me."
"Ah, I was really hoping to see Harry here." He joked, poking me.
"Harry actually is at Louis's with Gabe and Zayn is at my house."
"And Liam?"
"I'm not sure." I laughed, shaking my head. He looked at me like he was debating something before he looked behind himself and behind me a couple times, probably to ensure that we were alone.
"Can I tell you something?" He asked hesitantly, lowering his voice subtly.
I nodded slowly, not saying anything as a way to get him to continue. I wasn't sure what he wanted to tell me and my heart beat in my chest in nervous anticipation.
"I've been thinking about you, a lot. And, you're really special to me Mackenzie. I know I've just been in the background for all of this, and I didn't stay with you like I had promised, but I know that if we gave this a chance, it could lead to something more." He said, smiling quietly, his eyes brimming with tears. It was an entirely new experience for me, seeing him cry. His crying was different to that of Niall's, for his face didn't turn red and he was calm. His crying was calm.....
When I didn't answer, he took the opportunity to continue. "When you lost Niall, I was selfish. I wanted you to get over him Mackenzie, I wanted you to get over the death of the person you loved with all your being. I was childish for leaving you because I couldn't handle waiting for you. And, I'm sorry." I nodded slowly as he finished, my eyes brimming with tears that I wouldn't let fall. I hugged him again, laying my head against his shoulder as he buried his face in mine.
"Let's leave the past in the past." I said over his shoulder. He nodded against mine and released me. James came out of their dressing room then with Connor.
"Time to sound check Brad." James announced, while Connor eyed us in the background, making weird faces at Bradley.
I smiled at them both and gently kissed Bradley on the cheek, touching his hair gently.
"Have fun," I commented as a I followed a security guard down the hallway.
"You too!" Brad called after me, making me turn to smile at him. He smiled back at me and I blushed before turning back around. Perhaps, this was what Niall had meant when he had told me to find happiness again.
I knew now what happiness was. It was the memory of Niall, through the eyes of Gabe. It was the familiar smile Bradley gave me, and it was the roar of a crowd.
Happiness was the sound of Alexa and Louis's child laughing, and the smell of Britt and Liam's house.
I took a seat in the first row, crossing my legs and closing my eyes, listening to their sound check. I surprisingly only had to autograph a few things throughout the concert, which I was appreciative of.
A lot of the girls were younger than me, but I talked to quite a few of them, trying to be as nice as I possibly could.
The music that The Vamps made was very good, and a bit different than I had ever heard before. Sure, I had listened to their old stuff when Bradley and I were "dating", but their new stuff was completely different from what they had done previously.
After the concert was done, I went backstage once again, jumping into Brads arms and hugging him tightly to me.
"That was wonderful!" I exclaimed in his ear, pulling back slightly to look at him.
"Thanks," he laughed, releasing me and taking his earpiece out and handing it to a tech guy backstage. He took my hand once his were free and led me back to their dressing room. I sat on the couch awkwardly and waited as he showered and changed into clothes that weren't so sweaty.
James plopped down next to me, his hair wet and a smile plastered on his face when he looked at me. "I'm glad you came," he said politely, making me smile.
"I am too," I replied, watching as Bradley came out of the bathroom and struggled to pull on his shoes. He grinned at me and waved cheekily before struggling once more.
"He really adores you ya know," he said, looking at Bradley as he watched me with an amused gaze.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Mmhmm. Wouldn't shut up about you really," he laughed, his sentence dropped off when Brad had come closer and Brad looked at him suspiciously.
"What cha talking about?" He asked, his eyes drifting over James lightly before they rested on me.
"You, of course," I replied. He smiled at me happily and sat down next to me, throwing his arm around my shoulders like it was the most natural thing in the world to him.
"Ah, the perfect topic," he joked, leaning in to give me a kiss on the head. I smiled.
It was nice, sitting with them as they joked around and poked fun at me and Bradley. It kind of reminded me of One Direction when they were in their prime. The thought made me sad and the smile dropped from my face.
Brad noticed this fact and smiled at me gently. We soon left the venue, Connor, Tris, and James heading to the bus, while Brad walked me to my car.
"You parked really far away," he pointed out and I shrugged.
"I wanted to walk," I admitted, pulling my hood up on my sweatshirt. He did the same as me and hesitantly reached out to touch my hand, letting it brush past mine. I looked down at his reaching fingers and put my hand in his, weaving our fingers together.
"Thanks for coming, it means a lot to me, he admitted and I nodded slowly.
"It was time," I replied, making him smile.
He gave me a quick hug and kiss on the cheek when we got to my car.
And when he walked away from my car and I got in, I smiled genuinely for the first time, because I had made him smile, and that made me happy.
YOU ARE READING
This is not the end~ Fourth book in PLMI series
Fanfiction"How is he?" Zayn asked. "Not good. They said they couldn't do much for him. I mean, it's pretty damn bad this time Zayn. I don't think he's going to pull through...." Liam trailed in a shaky whisper. Hearing his hitched breathing, she knew...
