This is not the end~ Fourth book in PLMI series

You can't stop me-49

A/n- oh my days. So....I'm scared for my life now. Thanks for the comments and everything. So...I decided to update this..just cause you guys are so sad. And...please don't be depressed. I hopefully won't kill the main characters off. That's just not fun for me, as well as you. Heck, I was bawling when JAKE died. JAKE!!! Lol, okay. Here it goes. Let's try this again.

Come quickly , Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don't turn away from me, or I will die.
-Psalm 143:7

-Britt's POV-
I watched on in horror as Mackenzie stepped back from Niall. He whispered something to her and she stepped a couple feet back, backing away from him.
"No." She mumbled. "It isn't true." She whispered, her shoulders shaking and my heart breaking for her. Liam stepped forward, trying to grab her shoulders to calm her, but Mackenzie pushed him off and away roughly. There were people watching the scene we were making with wide eyes and questioning glances.
"NO. YOU....YOU'RE LYING." She screamed, sobbing into her hands and backing away from Niall. Niall's expression broke my heart as tears ran down his face. Thankfully, there were no nurses right on hand at the desk, so they wouldn't kick us out quite yet.
"Kenz.....I......" Niall whimpered, but Mackenzie wasn't hearing. Her legs began to shake as her whole body began to tremble, her sobs growing louder.
"No...it..it isn't true....." Mackenzie stammered out as Niall hesitantly took a step closer to her.

-Mackenzie's POV-
Niall hesitantly took a step closer to me. But..keep refused to believe it. He's not sick. He isn't. He's not. He's lying. He's not sick. He isn't.
"It's not true...." I reiterated, shaking violently and backing away from Niall. His red eyes broke my heart as he slowly grabbed my wrist, pulling me against his chest. "Say it isn't true..." I whimpered into his chest as I breathed in his smell, trying so hard to make this all disappear. He shook his head as I hugged his trembling body to mine.
"I...I..c..can't." Niall whimpered, so I cried harder, clutching his body to mine as tightly I could manage. Niall hugged me back tightly, burying his face into my hair and breathing in deeply.
"It's not true." I mumbled, my mind not letting me believe it. Niall sighed, releasing me of our tight hug and leading me over to Liam. He whispered something in his ear quickly. Liam slowly nodded and pulled me by my waist to him. Niall smiled at me sadly, grabbing my hand and squeezing as he took a step closer. It was a bit awkward, as Liam's arms were around my waist as Niall stood in front of me, putting his hands right above Liam's. I was still crying, as was he as he leaned forward to kiss me gently. This type of kiss was rare to us, rare to me and to him. It wasn't like our usually heated kisses that lead us to bed. No. It wasn't a promise, either. This seemed to be more gentle. More....I don't know......soft. Niall's lips molded against mine as he slowly kissed me. It became slightly more heated, but never grew sloppy or needy. I framed my hands perfectly around his face, resting my hands on his cheeks and to his neck. He pressed his lips to mine in a simple rhythm of pushing and pulling, making my heart ache in my chest. The kiss was so slow, I felt myself becoming dazed as the tears continued to fall down my cheeks. The softness of his lips and the flick of his tongue against mine made my heart beat quicken and spike. I turned my head, getting a better angle as everything else seemed to fall away. Nothing else was there. In the room. Just us. Just me. Just him. Us.
I felt Liam's hands fall from around my waist and Niall's moved down, to rest on my hips. He pulled me gently against his chest and let our lips move in sync. He slowly pulled away, his lips slightly puffy at our kiss. The room was silent and I turned, blushing when I realized everyone was staring.
"Liam's goin ta take ya home baby. I have ta stay ere a bit longer because they still have ta attach the chemo again......an' give meh my medicine." Niall slurred tiredly. My heart fell and I felt him wipe away the tears which were still falling steadily.
"I don't want to go home. I want to stay here with you." I whined like a child, grabbing his hand in mine. Niall sighed and nodded slowly, looking at Liam and Britt.
"I realleh tink yeh should go home." Niall whispered, leaning forward to kiss my forehead gently. I bit my lip, the tears still falling.
​​​​​ "I wanna stay here. With you." I whispered, pressing my forehead against his. He sighed, pressing his lips against mine quietly. He pulled away.
"Sorry baby. But...you should go home. I'll be there in an hour or so...okay?" Niall whispered in my ear. I whimpered and hugged him tightly, not wanting to let him go.
"Oh.....okay..." I said quietly, looking down at my hands. He wiped the tears from my eyes again, but more fell, refusing to stop. He sighed, kissing my tears away this time, before he handed me over to Liam, where I collapsed in his arms. Unable to fight anyone. Liam supported me on his shoulder as he talked to Niall for a couple minutes. I wasn't hearing or listening as my heart began to break by itself. Niall's cancer spread. Oh my gosh. It spread. I began to shake again, so Liam scooped me up like a rag doll, carrying me to Niall's car and putting me gently in the passenger seat. I pulled my legs up to my chest and cried into my knees as Liam drove in silence. I felt his hand go on my knee and I grabbed it quickly, holding it so tightly my knuckles turned white. I missed my brother....... My trembling body was falling apart and I realized....Britt didn't come. She must've stayed with Niall. I guess that's good. He needs someone there I guess. I just wish it could be me.
I felt the car lurch as he pulled into the driveway, so I looked up. I got out of the car as soon as it was stopped and ran up to the door, tears still falling down my aching, hot face. Liam followed me quickly, unlocking the door and letting me in. I practically ran to me and Niall's room, sobbing as I headed towards the bathroom. But...Liam grabbed my arm, whipping me around to face him.
"No. I won't let you." He growled, pulling me into his arms, to stop me from going into the bathroom. I growled and tried to pull out of his grasp.
"Let me go Liam." I spat, my anger rising.
"No. I won't let you." Liam growled, dragging me into the living room.
"Leave me alone!!" I screamed, clawing at his arms, to make him let go of me. He flinched, but didn't let me go, his hands holding my arm tightly as he drug me into the kitchen. I let the curses fly from my mouth at him as he pulled out my sleeping pills and a bottle of water. My eyes widened and I let more obscenities fly at him. That idiot.
"Are you going to take this....? Or do I have to shove it down your throat?" Liam asked sternly, sounding quite like my mother used to. I gulped as more tears sting my eyes.
​​​​​​ "Piss off." I spat, ripping my arm from his grasp quickly and starting to run. I wasn't quick enough. I was too dizzy. He gripped my arm tightly and drug me back into the kitchen, with me muttering obscenities under my breath.
"Nice try. But we aren't leaving this kitchen until you take this." He said, holding two of the small pills in his hand. I growled and glared at him. If a look could kill, he'd be dead. I ripped the pills out of his hand and shoved them in my mouth, swallowing them dry. I smiled smugly and ripped my arm out of his grip, running to my room quickly and slamming the door behind me. I locked it quickly and heard him knock on it.
"Mackenzie....please." Liam begged through the door. I ignored him and ran to the bathroom, locking that as a precaution. I sat down on the floor next to the toilet and I felt all my emotions come at once, making me sick. I leaned over the toilet and shoved my fingers to the back of my throat, making me throw up. I threw up the pills, even though they had started to make me drowsy, I was still awake. I started sobbing again then. Feeling totally and utterly like I was drowning. Niall's cancer was supposed to go away. He looks so healthy...but...it spread? It can't have. It shouldn't have. The doctors said he had a very good chance of surviving. But if he did, then why is it back and worse?
My heart was breaking as I crawled over to the shower quietly. I still heard Liam's urgent calls from outside my bedroom door. I chose to ignore him as I pulled my razor from the shower and looked at it, holding it in my lap. I heard Liam break through the first door, but not the bathroom one. He pounded on the bathroom door suddenly and I jumped as his booming voice drifted through the door.
"Mackenzie. Please don't do it." He sighed, his voice cracking. My heart sank even more, so I gripped the razor tightly in my left hand, lining it up with the other markings on my wrist.
"You can't stop me." I whimpered as I drug the razor harshly and jaggedly across my wrist. I gasped at the pain that I have been wanting to feel for so long.
"No Kenz!!!" Liam screamed from outside the door. I shook my head, sobbing into my hands as I felt the blood pour from my wrist. The pain was worse this time. I don't know why.
I whimpered as I drug the razor across my wrist again and again, marking my arm up all the way to the bend of my elbow. I gasped as I felt my head getting dizzy, blood dripping to the floor harshly. My head was aching as I clutched the razor tightly still, my knuckles turning white. My hands were stained red with my own blood. Sticky. The color was much brighter on my jeans as it stained them. My eyes were unfocused as I crawled over to the counter, and fumbled around for the pill bottle, before grasping it tightly and taking two, to put me to sleep.
​​​​​​ I began to get sleepy as I felt the blood pour out of my wrist. I don't really know if it was from the medicine, designed to help me sleep, or the fact that I've lost so much blood. There was a small puddle of blood, where I was sitting, so I slowly moved to the right, my body heavy and tired. I laid down on the cold tile floor as I cried myself to sleep, slipping into unconsciousness...........

He heels the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.
-Psalm 147:3