This is not the end~ Fourth book in PLMI series

Make it go away-62

A/n- Something's happening with me. I don't like where this story is going anymore. I don't even really have fun writing it anymore. Well...kind of.

-Britt's POV-
As I got in the car and drove away, I remembered something. I forgot about the dogs. Who would take care of them? I dug around in my bag for my phone and pulled it out, dialling Mackenzie's number and holding the phone between my ear and shoulder as I drove. There was an answer after two rings.
"H...hello?" I heard her ask, her voice sounding tired and laced with sleep. Wincing, I answered her.
"Oh no love. Did I wake you?" I said nervously. She chuckled.
"Nah......I was up at like...5. But I went back to bed because I was still tired. What's up?" She asked.
"Oh. Nothing. It's just....Alexa and Kendall are going back to New York for awhile and I'm going to visit some friends in Colorado.....and I totally forgot about the dogs. Is there anyone that you know in London that can take care of them....?" I asked. I heard her whispering to someone in the background.
"Erm. Yeah.....Bradley's still in town I think. It's totally fine. I'd have done the same thing. I'll take care of it." She said tiredly, her voice muffled by a yawn.
I chuckled. "Thank you. Tell Niall I say hi. And.....have fun." I said. She chuckled, I heard Niall's voice in the background.
"Ello...." I heard him mumble. I laughed, shaking my head.
"Thanks babe. Get some sleep." I suggested. I heard her yawn.
"Yeh. I will. Love you."
"Love ya too. Bye." I said, hanging up. Well. I took care of that.....

-Mackenzie's POV-
I slowly pried Niall's arms off my waist, wiggling and trying to get out of the bunk. He groaned and rolled over,burying his face in my neck and not moving.
​​​​​​ "Nialler......baby....? Can you please let me get up?" I mumbled, wiggling in his strong arms. He smiled, his teeth against my neck as he laughed, kissing up and down my neck and starting to suck at my sweet spot, making me bite back my moan. He moved his arms tighter around me, sucking harshly at my neck. That's definitely going to leave a hickey.......
I sighed, leaning back into Niall, letting him do whatever he liked. Just because....maybe I thought this wouldn't last much longer. Maybe....I was afraid that it was going to end. Or....possibly that he was going to get sicker. His hair is already falling out at a faster rate than it did before. I know he tells me not to worry. And that he's fine. And that he'll get better. I was never one that was very perspicacious.....never having the best judgement. That was Josh. Not me. But...I know when someone's sick. And he is, he's accepted that he needs the medicine, but he always seems to joke about it. Telling me yesterday if he goes bald, he'll shave Harry's head simply because he wants Harry's curly hair and always has. I never take them as jokes, but he seems to try to do it to cheer me up, when it only actually makes me more sad.
I haven't cut for awhile, not since I found out his cancer was back and fell asleep in the bathroom, but the urges always come back worse than ever. I keep thinking....they'll layoff and go away, but....they won't. I feel like they never will. No matter how many people tell me they love me.....they don't just get it. You don't get it unless....you've done it more than once. Only if there are more than three scars on your wrist. It's a constant struggle....and once I started.....I..couldn't.....stop. I always feel like it will get better. I always feel like...Niall, my prince will carry me away somewhere, where no paps, fans, or......creepy psychos will bother us. But...this is not a fairy tail. And that isn't going to happen.
I curl up in a fetal position, my legs pulled tightly to my chest and my eyes watering. Niall gently pulls me towards him, closer, running his hand over my back and tangling his legs with mine.
"We'll be okay Kenz......." he says. "You're stronger than anyone I know. We'll keep each other safe...."
The words don't register like they should, seeming to go in one ear and out the other. If I dwell on these thoughts any longer, I'm sure I'll fall apart. It's like the depression.....is always there, threatening to pull me under and away from Niall.
I turn and wrap my arms around Niall, my cheek on his shoulder. He strokes my hair gently and lovingly, but it isn't enough for me. I sit up and lean on my elbow and look at his handsome face, his loving eyes.
I kissed him then, my heart breaking for him. "Make me forget." I murmur on his lips, sliding my hand underneath his shirt. He responded quickly, pulling me on top of him. The negative thoughts left as he kissed me.
I try to pull his shirt off, but my hands are shaking violently as tears sting my eyes, feeling like this might not last. It's all so overwhelming. I can't bear to lose anyone else. My father. My mother. Josh. Even trey. Even Jake. I lost them all. I can't stand my thoughts. Why can't they just go away?
Niall grabs my wrist, his thumb against my scars as he stops me, his personal blue eyes piercing into mine.
"Make it go away." I whimper. Niall swallows hard, his expression changing and his hands starting to shake visibly.
"I can't." Niall whispers suddenly, his face changing from passion to sadness very quickly, scaring me.
"I....c..can't...." he whispered, his voice breaking and a cry threatening to break out of his throat. I reached my hand out to glide my fingers over his jaw, his soft lips. He doesn't move, his eyes tired and sick looking.
"We'll get through this." I heard him whisper. I gently touched his hair, scared more of it would fall out.
"Promise?" I inquired, my voice hushed as I heard the boys waking up and heard Harry's raspy morning voice through the curtain.
"I promise." He whispered, leaning forward to kiss me. He slipped half his hand underneath the baggy shirt of his I was wearing and traced patterns on my stomach, his finger tips gentle and soft. He traced over the scars and stayed silent, our breathing the only sound in the bunk.
As Niall traced patterns on my stomach and legs, mumbling how he loved me a million times, I felt safe. Little did I know....things were about to get so much worse.....

-Kendall's POV-
I stayed silent on the plane ride, listening to little things on repeat the whole time. I listened to Harry's voice the most, trying to calm my nerves and get myself ready for what was to come, but..I couldn't. My head was spinning at what would happen. What he would do to me once I show up. What he did to me already seems pretty screwed up. I can only hope it won't be too bad and that he doesn't hurt my mum, Harry, Christopher, or Alexa. Anyone close to me, he'll wipe out. He only wants two things. Money. And revenge.
I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the window and letting a few tears drip out. Alexa stayed silent next to me and I was glad. I didn't want her inquiring about what was wrong. The only person I wanted was Harry. To hold me. I pulled my bag up and pulled Harry's sweatshirt out of it, smelling his strong cologne on it calmed me as I pulled the baggy thing over my head.
I yearned and longer for Harry's embrace. I wanted to tell him, really I did. But I was too scared too. I didn't want him to worry about me. He's already stressed enough as it is. Plus, if I told him, he would most definitely tell the lads and Liam for sure would tell either the police, or security. But...that wouldn't help. It would only make things worse.......
I closed my eyes, wiping the tears off my face and pulling the hood to Harry's sweatshirt up over my head, relaxing my shoulders and breathing in the smell of Harry. Alexa was asleep next to me, her head on my arm. Harry's voice drifted into my ears and I fell asleep, wondering....what would happen next.....

-Liam's POV-
I sat down next to Niall on the couch, who was watching Mackenzie sit at the table next to Louis, talking on the phone. Niall held in guitar in his lap, playing one of our songs quietly.
"Hey. Umm. Yeah....you're still in London...right?" She said over the phone. I suddenly noticed that Niall had a hat on, his blonde hair sticking out underneath it, so you could barely see it.
"Who's she talking to?" I asked as Niall pulled out his phone, opening up Twitter.
"Bradley." He said quietly, his voice hoarse and tired. I frowned, my thoughts running deep into the gutter.
"Niall? Are you okay?" I asked, suddenly realizing his face was much paler than it was yesterday and the way his eyes looked sunken in like he was losing weight in his face.
He looked up at me, his eyes tired and his movements slow. "Yeh mate. Jus.....tired...." he whispered, his eyes fluttering shut as he strummed a few chords on his guitar. I pinched my lips shut tightly, biting down on the inside of my bottom lip and twisting my wedding band. Mackenzie hung up her phone and sat down next to Niall on the couch, reaching out to straighten his hat. He smiled at her funnily and she smiled back, leaning in to kiss his cheek and whisper something in his ear. He closed his eyes, nodded, but bit down on his lip like he was in pain.
Zayn and Harry were playing a video game quietly, them not being as competitive as when they play with Louis. Niall got up slowly, walking out of the room and to where the bunks were. I met eyes with Harry across the room and he gave me a worried look. I nodded.
"Is he okay?" I asked Mackenzie. She looked at me, nodding slowly, but not looking too sure herself.
"Oh yeah. I think so...I mean...he's not feeling too well today, but once we do another concert I'm sure he'll be better." She whispered. I nodded slowly, looking down, my eyes racing like they do when I was nervous. Clenching my hands together, I swallowed nervously, looking out at the cities scenery rolling by. We're on our way to the airport, where we'll fly to Berlin for our next show. I know the lads are excited. And I am too, I just miss Britt. And...I'm worried about her....and Niall.
"Are you sure?" I asked. She put a hand over my tight ones and smiled sadly.
"I can never be sure Payno..." she whispered.

A/n- This story is so cliche.