This is not the end~ Fourth book in PLMI series

Troubles bubbles?-64

A/n- You were never there when I needed you......you never wanted to be there....it was always about you.....too bad I'm falling apart...when, you don't even notice......

-Mackenzie's POV-
I pulled on the outfit I was going to wear for the concert tonight. We now were finally in Berlin, Germany. I've never been to Germany before, so I was very glad when I heard we got to spend two days there instead of just one. We have two interviews tomorrow, which I have with the boys for once, then we can go sight seeing for the day. I'm so excited.
I jumped when someone knocked on the bathroom door. The bus was still moving, because we still had to get to the stadium, but we were changing on the bus, as expected. "What??" I yelled through the door, trying to get my bra fastened. I couldn't manage to get it. Man. The struggle.
"Are yeh almost done baby? I've had to pee for the last 5 hours." I heard Niall yell.
"Then why didn't you go 5 hours ago?!" I yelled back.
"I was asleep!!" He yelled back. I sighed, opening the door and still trying to fasten my bra. Niall rushed past me, towards the toilet. I slammed the door, grateful none of the other boys were lurking outside. I heard Niall peeing and heard him sigh. Wincing, I slapped his back.
"Niall. Gosh. Don't do that...." I mumbled, shaking my head in amusement. He finally finished peeing and looked over at me, leaning over to wash his hands and smirking at me, as I was still struggling to clip my bra. "Help me..." I whined. He laughed, leaning forward to kiss my nose and turned me around so he could hook the clasp of my bra.
"Troubles bubbles?" He whispered, pulling me towards him by the waist. I snorted, shaking my head.
"Did you just call me bubbles?" He looked thoughtful for a moment before smiling.
"Yeh. I think so.....maybe...a new nickname for ya?" He asked, tracing his fingers over my bare shoulder and down my back.
"Like I need another one of those...." I replied, as his fingers wandered down my stomach and to the top of my black jeans, making me smile as I leaned in to kiss him in the tiny room. He smiled into our kiss before pulling away too quickly, leaning back to cough into his sleeve. I frowned, gently touching his arm as he coughed into his arm harder. He finally finished and looked back at me,his eyes watering from coughing so hard. He readjusted the hat that had sat on his head for every concert we've in the past couple weeks.
I could tell that as he lost more and more hair, the more he would get insecure about it. The more he would wear hats not just outside the bus, but inside the bus, sometimes refusing to take them off at all.
"You okay?" I whispered, playing with his big hands. He nodded slowly, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, resting his forehead against mine.
"I will be." He murmured, lowering his lips to my nose, closing his eyes. I smiled, pulling back and pulling on the shirt I was going to wear. I was going casual this concert, as I had gone totally all out last concert. And besides, I wasn't in the mood to wear a dress. I settled on a simple pair of black jeans, like Niall's, and a cute green tee that was kind of dressy. I paired it with a pair of converse, making it look much better.
I pulled on my shirt and Niall watched me, his eyes hungrily roaming my body. I made a kissy face at him and shook my head, pulling my hair out of the shirt and gently pushing Niall out of the bathroom. I sat down at the table next to Harry, who was looking at his phone frantically, refreshing it a million times.
"Hey Haz. What's wrong?" I asked as I pulled out my makeup and began to put a thin layer on.
"Kendall......she won't answer any of my texts or calls. It doesn't even ring for very long, just once before it goes to voicemail...." he whispered, his eyes scared. I shook my head gently, putting down my mascara and looking at him.
"Her phone probably broke or something. I'm sure she's okay." I assured him. He smiled quietly, nodding.
"I'm just being silly I suppose." He whispered. Niall came to sit across from us, winking at me and nudging my knee with his. I looked over Harry's head and out the window of the bus, before getting up and sitting on the couch. Girls were running behind the bus, screaming and yelling, I could hear it because the windows were open. I looked over to Niall, who was playing some hand game with Harry and was laughing loudly. I smiled, turning back to the window and watching fans along side of the road and waving a couple times. I love the boys' fans. Most of them were so so sweet, and some of them were actually fans of me too. Which.....still surprises me and shocks me. That people would actually want to listen to my music.....? It amazes me.
"What cha thinking about?" Someone asked. I looked up to see Zayn, his hair pulled back into a tight bun. I was never a fan of the man bun, but Zayn and Harry​​​​​ make it work. I shrugged, as an answer to his question and shifted when he sat down next to me.
"I don't know.....just thinking....about your fans.....and..every thing." I whispered. He touched my knee for a second, and I was spiraled back in time.
««Flashback»»
We finally packed up and got into the bus to wait for the other guys. The bus was running and I could feel the slight vibration from the engine. I grabbed the bathroom first, knowing the boys would fight over it later. I quickly changed as fast as I could, before anything occurred to me. I didn't want to find something sharp and I didn't want to cut myself. We are going to find Niall. I know it. I have to stay positive.
I got out of the bathroom and grabbed one of Niall's sweatshirts from his bunk and quickly pulled it over my head, wanting to somehow be connected to him. I felt overwhelmed when I smelled the scent of his sweet smelling cologne. I felt the tears come and they didn't stop. I stood in the middle of the aisle, between the bunks, crying my eyes out. Because my mother...took my boyfriend. What a world.........
I heard the curtain open, opening the room to attach to the other one. I heard a sigh and my vision was blurred as I saw Zayn, who quickly grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. I cried into his chest, more like sobbed and he rocked me back in forth.
"Shh....." he whispered and I cried even harder. He sighed and slowly sat down in Niall's bunk. He laid down and I quickly got in next to him, not hesitating at all. I needed comfort.
I lost it and cried myself to sleep, with Zayn trying weakly to comfort me. Nothing can help me at this point. No one can. All I wanted was Niall.
««End of Flashback»»
I looked up at Zayn and he smiled gently at me, shifting slightly and pulling something out of his pocket. He searched my eyes slowly for something, looking deep into me. He took a piece of folded paper from his pocket and pressed it into my hand, before getting up and walking to his bunk without another word. I frowned and glanced at Niall, who didn't notice the exchange me and Zayn just had, as he and Harry were still messing around. I looked at Liam instead and he gave me a confused look, coming to sit beside me. "What's that?" Liam asked. I shrugged, deciding not to show him, just in case it was private and shoved it into my pocket. I got up slowly and grabbed my guitar off the floor where it leaned next to Niall's. Sitting back down, I strummed a few chords, practicing my songs and a few of one directions songs. Finally, Niall came to sit on the other side of me, watching my fingers move on the strings.
"Where'd you learn to play?" He asked quietly. I smiled.
​​​​​​​ "My father. He...gave me this guitar...taught me a little before he died....then I taught myself the rest." I replied. He nodded slowly and put his hand to rest on my knee. I continued to play different chords, playing different riffs and things that I knew, while Liam and Niall watched me in silence. I didn't realize until after that I had started playing my newer song that I had just recently figured out.
"That sounds....interesting...is that new?" Niall said, making me jump. I blushed and nodded bashfully.
​​​​​​ "Mmmhmmm......I finally finished it."
"Can we hear it....?" Liam inquired, looking hopeful. I sighed, but nodded anyways. They might as well be the first to hear it. Harry perked up from the table, indicating that he was listening as well.
"If you want to.....I mean it's still pretty rough...." I said, nodding my head. Niall shrugged.
"If you sing it....it'll be beautiful." Niall replied, kissing my forehead. I blushed a bright shade of red and pulled away from him, strumming the first chords to begin the song.

I've got a sea of flowers
But all these hours are just mine alone
No ones home
Bought me the finiest china
Each time I dine it's always me alone
With the heater on
Left to your own devices
A master of disguises
Why is that not surprising
It's like you're midas

Ooh ooh
Now all I see is gold
All I see is gold
Ooh ooh
Now all I see is gold
All I see is gold

You're probably somewhere sunny
And I'm here wondering if you dream of me
While you're by the sea
Of all the people passing
Your face appears in everyone I see
But you're not with me
And now I just can't tell if
That's just the way you felt
When we were just beginning
You've turn to midas

Ooh ooh
Now all I see is gold
All I see is gold
Ooh ooh
Now all I see is gold
All I see is gold

And when you hold my hand
I don't feel anything
All I feel is cold
And all I see is gold

Ooh it's like your midas

Ooh ooh
Now all I see is gold
All I see is gold
Ooh ooh
All I see is gold
All I see is gold

Ooh
All I see is gold
All I see is gold
All I see is gold

I finished the last chord and looked up to see Niall's mouth dropped open, Harry's eyes wide, and Liam staring at me in awe.
"What...?" I asked defensively, moving my guitar and handing it to Niall.
"I want that recording....." Harry said from the table, shaking his curls out and pushing them all underneath a hat.
"That was f-ing beautiful." Niall said and I slapped his arm.
"Language Niall." I warned. He frowned and bit his lip, but gave me an apologetic look.
"Mmmhmm. Sorry." He waved it off. I rolled my eyes as Liam grabbed my hands.
"You HAVE to sing that tonight!" He exclaimed. I shook my head immediately. The song is so rough. It's not ready. I have to decide whether I'm going to convert it to piano or leave it on guitar and if the lyrics are okay. And...every thing. It's just not ready.
"I can't. It's not ready." I explained as I watched Niall move my guitar to the floor.
"It is so!!" Harry said loudly, I shook my head, rolling my eyes.
"Sorryyy.......I'm not going to sing it tonight." I replied. Niall sighed, messing with a thread on his jeans.
"We still on for our duet?" Niall asked hopefully. I nodded, smiling. We were going to do the duet we did at my record release party, Jump then fall by Taylor swift. It was a cute song and it was really fun to sing it with Niall, so we decided to do it again.....
I felt the bus come to a stop and I looked outside, seeing the stadium in front of us. Niall smiled. "We're here."

A/n- Bleh. So much stuff going on. I'm overwhelmed. This have better saved because my kindle was glitching......I've been so tired lately, but I will try not to put off updating. It's not exactly my number one priority at the moment, but....you know how things go. This is sort of a long, dragged out filler chapter, but......it was maybe needed. I'm legit scared to finish this book guys. Like seriously. It scares the crap out of me realizing I published the first one literally 10 months ago......it scares me so much I don't even know what to do. I'm growing up and growing up fast. I don't like it.......but...any who. Just for clarification, neither Harry nor Louis know that their girlfriends are in New York, just saying. You all have some serious crap coming in this book, so get ready, we'll power through this together.......I have no idea what's going to happen, but I have had to cut out some pretty juicy stuff because it just seemed cruel. Ya know? Example- Harry cheating on Kendall. 1. It just seemed to cliche.....and 2......that girl seriously doesn't need that. And 3....It just wouldn't fit with what's coming. This book is gonna be much longer than the other three so....sit tight, fasten your seatbelts and hold on....this ride ain't over yet.....lol. bye lovelies. Thanks for reading. Love ya!!! Ps, this is the song- m.youtube.com/watch?v=rndJ9B5pjS... okay I'm done now bye!!!
-Beyourself