This is not the end~ Fourth book in PLMI series

I won't let you die on me-51

-Mackenzie's POV-
My head was pounding, like a hammer was trying to pound it's way through my skull. I felt warm, but yet, confused as I slowly awakened, a dull buzz in my ears. My eyes were hurting, badly, so badly in fact that I couldn't even open them. I felt someone next to me and assumed it was Niall, reaching out to touch him. I felt his bare chest underneath my fingertips as I caressed his chest, scooting closer to him. I slowly tried to open my eyes again, this time, it worked, my eyes slowly slid open, the world blurry and hazy in front of me. I saw Niall's eyes, only inches away from mine. His eyes were sparkling as he looked at me. He offered me a small, sad smile, brushing the hair away from my face.
"Gmorning love." Niall slurred slowly. I frowned and looked around the room. My memory was blank as how I got here. I looked down to my clothes, seeing only Niall's clothes on me, and smiling up at him softly.
"What happened?" I choked out. My voice was unnaturally raspy and my throat hurt horribly, making it hurt to talk.
"Shh...shhhh.....it's okay love. Don't talk if it hurts." Niall whispered, kissing my forehead gently and running his hands through my hair. I shifted and felt a horrible stinging in my arm. That's when....it all came back. It all came spiraling back to me in a windstorm, hitting me hard, making me lose my breath. I wrapped my arms around Niall's neck as I felt tears sting my eyes. I pulled him against me, burying my face in his neck. Tears dripped from my eyes and ran down his neck, making him pull me back and look at me.
"No...baby please don't cry...." Niall whispered, playing with a piece of my long hair like he always does.
"I......I tried.....s...so hard Niall....I did. Really I did. But I couldn't help it....I'm..." I stammered, about to apologize. But....Niall cut me off, kissing me tenderly on the lips. He captured my words with his lips, slowly pressing his hand to my cheek. He finally pulled back, trailing his fingers over my face.
"Don't. Apologize." He whispered, kissing my hand gently and trailing up to my other wrist, the one that survived last night.
"But Niall....." I croaked, my voice sounding almost like a man's, from the scratchiness.
"Shhhh..shhh...." Niall cooed, running his hand up and down my leg slowly. I sighed and closed my eyes, his touch feeling so good. "Do you need anything?" Niall asked. That's ironic. He's the one who's sick and he's asking me if I need anything.
I shook my head against his unusually warm chest. He did feel a bit hotter than usual. Oh who am I kidding? He's always hot. I'm joking. I'm joking. Sheesh.
"Nialler......do you feel okay?" I whispered, bringing my hand up to his forehead. His skin was clammy and he was sweating slightly. His face was already more pale than it was yesterday and his hands were shaky as he reached out to touch my face.
"I'm fine." He brushed me off, playing with the oxygen tubes coming from his nose. I sighed and bit my lip, letting us fall into a tense silence. The only sound in the room was Jesse's light snoring and the sss sound of his oxygen tank.
"Oh crap." Niall said loudly, holding his hand over his mouth as he ripped out his oxygen tubes and sprinted to the bathroom. I sighed, throwing the covers off and walking to the bathroom quickly, just as I saw him puke into the toilet. I crouched down next to him, gently patting his back as he puked his guts out, his body shaking under the strain.
"Oh....my gosh...." Niall whined, leaning over the toilet to puke again, his breath coming out in spurts. I winced and rubbed his back, drawing patterns and scratching it like I knew he liked. He finally stopped puking, groaning and looking up at me, wiping some spit from his face. He coughed a couple times and sighed, laying down so his head rested in my lap.
"It's always the worst the day after I start...." Niall mumbled quietly. I stayed silent, wondering how much his body actually does hurt without me knowing. He hates chemo. With a passion. And it sucks that he has to be back on it. It doesn't exactly.....help him.
​​​​​​ I gently moved my hands through his hair like he loves so much. He gently closed his eyes and I heard my phone ring. It was still on the counter from where I last left it. I slowly reached up to grab it, sighing when I saw Liam's number, calling me. Niall was still laying in my lap, his breathing steady....even without the oxygen. Which...made me really happy. I was pretty sure he was fast asleep, so I continued to run one of my hands through his hair as I used the other to answer the phone, pressing the phone to my ear.
"Hello.....?" I answered quietly, my voice still raspy and low from my sore throat. I didn't feel well. Better than Niall, but not well.
"Kenz? Oh my gosh. Are you okay? What happened...? Is Niall okay? I'm sorry I tried....I tried to....I'm sorry I made you mad...are you mad?" Liam rambled loudly. My head started pounding, making me feel sick to my stomach as I slid my hand out of Niall's hair to rub my temples. I saw a drop of blood on the floor and I frowned, biting my lip and licking my finger to wipe it away.
"Liam......please...stop rambling....I have an enormous headache. You aren't making it better....I'm fine I guess...." I said quietly, my voice cracking as I heard Liam's breaking voice from last night.
​​​​​​ "Are.....are you mad at me?" He whispered. I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I glanced down at Niall.
"No Liam. I'm not mad at you." I mumbled, closing my eyes. "I'm mad at myself." I whispered. I could practically see his face falling.
"I know babe. I know. But you shouldn't be mad at yourself. You couldn't help it. You should be mad at me." He whispered. I shook my head, looking down at Niall.
"Liam. You couldn't do anything. It's okay. I'm fine. I'm okay." I said into the phone, lightly shaking Niall's shoulder to wake him. His eyes fluttered open and he frowned, seeing me on the phone.
"Are you sure?" Liam asked.
"Yeah. Just a second. I'll be right there." I said, hanging up on him. "Baby.....can you get up...or do you need your oxygen...?" I asked, playing with a piece of Niall's hair. He shrugged, sitting up a bit and wincing. He slowly dropped his head back into my lap, tears streaming from his eyes.
"It hurts." He whimpers, his eyes full of regret and sadness. I sighed, nodding as I leaned down to kiss his forehead.
"I know baby. I know." I whispered, gently tracing my fingers down his arm. I heard a quiet knock at the door and I looked at Niall. He shrugged.
"Come in!!" I called, wincing at my headache. Liam stuck his head through the door and smiled at the sight of us, Niall laying with his head in my lap.
"Do you guys always lay on the floor, just so I can come rescue you?" Liam asked a small smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes, thinking about the last time this happened.
"Tha's not all weh do on the floor......" Niall said, a smiled creeping up his lips. My eyes widened and I looked to him, swatting his head gently. There was surely a bright red blush on my face as I put my hands to my scorching cheeks.
"OOH. OOH. Share!!" Liam exclaimed, jumping up and down like a little girl. Niall opened his mouth teasingly and I slid my hand over his mouth.
"Don't. You. Dare." I hissed, ignoring the fact that his tongue had popped out of his mouth and he was getting his spit all over my hand. Nothing new here........
Niall gently moved my hand from his mouth and looked up at me, his face flushing as he smirked, looking to Liam. "Well....there was this one time...." Niall started, but I slapped my hand over his mouth again, not letting him finish. He continued to talk into my hand, Liam not understanding him. But....oh...did I. He was talking about one time when I was still living in Britt's house, we...umm.......did....it...on the floor. Yeah........ew. And of course...Niall's a boy, so he of course has to embarrass me with it as much as possible. I just wish now that he was drunk that night like he was the one, he wouldn't have remembered it in the morning....but oh, did he remember.
"You are so disgusting!!" I whined, pinching his arm, right at a pressure point. (Thank you Kendall.) He squirmed away, slower than usual. I could tell he was being extra careful with himself, as not to hurt himself more. Which, I was thankful for.
Liam chuckled and shook his head at Niall. "You know I was only joking right......?" Liam asked Niall. Niall shrugged, looking up at me with a cheeky smile.
"Yeh. Of course I did. I jus like to tease er...." he mumbled, smiling at me as Liam gave him a hand up. Niall bit down on his lip as he stood up. He offered me a hand, but I didn't take it. I can get up on my own thank you.
"You guys are mean." I mumbled, pushing them out of the bathroom. Liam left, waving at me and smirking. I rolled my eyes and leaned against the bathroom door frame. Niall stood in front of me, his hand on my waist as he leaned in to kiss my nose.
"I love you." Niall whispered, his eyes full of passion. I smiled.
"I'm sure..." I replied cheekily. Niall's eyes became serious all at once, making me stand up straighter as he towered over me.
"No Mackenzie.......I'm serious. Like......I love you so much. It's...unexplainable. I wanted you to know that before...." Niall trailed off, not finishing his sentence. His voice was.....stern and intense. Almost...scaring me.
"Snowflake......you're scaring me...." I whispered, reaching out to touch his hair. He caught my hand and gently moved it away, his face serious.
"Mackenzie. Please. Just listen. Okay?" He whispered, his breath falling across my face. I slowly nodded, grabbing his hand in mine and squeezing gently to send some reassurance to him. He bit his lip and looked down, before looking back up at me with his big blue eyes.
"Mackenzie. It spread to my brain and to my blood. My white blood cells..they won't be able to fight off disease..." he whispered. I closed my eyes as a tear fell down my face. I nodded slowly, looking back up at him.
"It...it's okay. You'll fight. We'll fight...." I trailed, trying mostly to convince myself. He shook his head slowly, his expression burning a hole in my heart and shredding it to pieces.
"Baby. Yeh know I'll always fight for yeh. But...I'm not sure it'll work out this time....." Niall trailed. Tears were stinging my eyes as I looked up at him.
"I won't let you die on me." I whispered with force as I pressed my lips against his. He melted underneath my touch and kissed back passionately. I gently pushed against his chest, pushing him back and against the wall roughly.
"I need you." He whispered as he snuck his hands up my shirt. I shivered as his hands rested on my stomach. I ran my hands through his hair slowly and pulled gently at the roots, which I know makes him so crazy. He groaned and grabbed my waist more firmly, spinning us so that we were switched and my back was against the wall. I groaned as he pulled off his shirt. I slowly traced my fingers down his stomach, looking up at him, seeing the love in his eyes.
"I love you." I whispered, pressing my lips to his chest as he tugged at my shirt. I pulled it quickly over my head. He looked down at me, his eyes glowing. "Why're you staring at me?" I whispered against his chest as I kissed down it, leaving a few love bites in my wake. He moaned a bit, his head falling backwards from pleasure. I smiled at this, loving what I could do to him.
"God yer so beautiful." He growled, catching my lips in a hungry kiss as he spun and pushed me towards the bed. The back of my knees hit the bed and I fell onto the bed, pulling Niall down with me. His lips were on mine the whole time, pulling harshly. I slowly pulled my lips away from his to catch my breath. "Niall......the door...." I whispered, motioning to the door to our room, which was a cracked open a couple inches. Too much for comfort. Niall nodded and crawled off of me, walking over to the door and locking it tightly. He came back over to the bed and I sat up as he sat in front of me, between my legs. I still had his sweatpants on and he looked like a God, his sweatpants hanging off his hips dangerously low, showing the top of his boxers. I leaned forward and kissed him then, putting my arms around his neck. He smiled into our kisses and gently pushed me down on the bed, his lips trailing down my shoulders and down my chest, around my bra, and down to my stomach, to kiss the scars there.
"So beautiful." He whispered against my stomach. I grabbed his hair and pulled him back up to my lips, kissing him needily and hungrily.
"You taste so good." I mumbled against his lips,making his cheeks flush with embarrassment. I giggled and played with his hair as we kissed. He glanced up at me, his eyes lustful and passionate.
"I love you. This is all that matters. You and me." He whispered, kissing me with such intensity, I thought that I would explode. I slowly slipped my hand tot he hem of his sweatpants, my hands resting over the top of his boxers. He blinked, his eyes hazed over from the passion. He slowly smiled, the smile so infectious that I smiled too, kissing his chest.
"Baby?" Niall slurred, his voice husky.
"Hmmmm.....?" I hummed, playing with his hair with one hand and rubbing my thumb over his hip with the other.
"I love yeh.....so..so much and...whatever happens..I will always love you." He whispered. I pulled his lips down to meet mine. And...in that moment.....everything was perfect.

A/n- YAY. Okay....(sighs) that was intense. This took me awhile. So....you're welcome. I love you all. Bye bye.