This is not the end~ Fourth book in PLMI series

Bonus chapter 4

*BEFORE EPILOGUE

-Mackenzie-

I opened my eyes slowly, my head spinning and my heart aching once I realized where I was.  The hospital room was a contrast to the ones I had been in previously. The walls were a shade of light tan and red, with couches and chairs in the room.

      I looked to my left to see the IV in my arm and gently moved my hand, the pain that shot up my arm making me gasp out in pain. 

      Harry, Liam, and Britt sat on the couch, Liam and Britt both asleep while Harry was on his phone. He looked up at me slowly and his eyes widened when he saw that I was awake.

       "Mackenzie! You're awake!" He exclaimed, standing up and shoving his phone in his pocket as he did so. He came to stand next to my bed and grabbed my hand gently before leaning in to kiss my forehead. "How do you feel?"

      I didn't answer, only stared straight ahead at the wall, my heart too tired to interact.

      I felt horrible. I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. I want to die. I want to die and be with Niall. Gabe would be better with someone else anyway.

      "Mackenzie? Are you okay?" He asked, but I still didn't answer as I stared lifelessly at the wall.

      I couldn't even cry anymore. I had no tears left to cry at all. I couldn't feel anything anymore. No pain hurt worse than this.

     Niall was gone. He was gone and he left me here alone with his friends who loved him more than they could ever love me. He left me alone with our child, the only thing that even gave my life meaning.

      I heard Liam and Britt wake up and Harry called them over, expressing his concern about me, acting like I wasn't even there.

      "Is she okay?" Liam asked, waving his hand in front of my face. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to tell him to fuck off, that I wasn't a statue. I could see his hand. I would blink if he snapped his fingers in front of my eyes. I was still a human, for now.

       "I don't know Liam, she's acting like she can't even hear us, like she's cut off," Harry whispered. I can hear you.

        "Kenz," Liam started, his hand on my arm. I flinched at the burning cuts and he retracted his hand. "We're going to go get you some food, what do you want?" He asked. I didn't answer and didn't look at him, just looked down at my arm, playing with the thick bandages on my arms.

       "Honey, you're going to have to eat. You're going to need a feeding tube soon if you don't," Britt said sweetly, making me finally look up at her. Her eyes looked sad and I swallowed, tears brimming in my eyes.

     I reached out to touch her hair gently, but didn't say anything as tears fell from my eyes. She engulfed me in a tight hug and I hugged her back, my tears dripping to her sweatshirt.

"It's okay. It's okay," she whispered into my ear as I sobbed against her.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I gasped, not daring to look up at Liam or Harry.

"It's not your fault," she whispered. I gripped onto her tightly, not wanting to let my best friend go. She was like my lifeline for some reason.

I didn't want anyone else at that moment, only her.

"Can you eat something for me?" She asked, pulling back and gently playing with my hair. I swallowed suddenly, focusing my gaze on my bandages once again. Moving my hand, my eyes widened and I began to panic when I saw that my ring was missing, my heart rate spiking on the monitor next to me.