This is not the end~ Fourth book in PLMI series

You can control it-43

A/n- Thanks for being there for me. The whole lot of you. Love y'all.
So.....regarding the last chapter.....wow. (Sighs) that was...intense. It kinda symbolized.....me...losing my mind? Okay, that sounds weird....but I'm so fed up with every thing at school, sometimes...I need to let it out. And...I kinda am guilty of taking everything out on Mackenzie, because she's basically me. So...ha ha. If you think Mackenzie's a depressed freak....or an attention whore...lol, she's not. She's just a sad, sad girl whose life is tainted by her past. BUT. NOT TO WORRY!!! I WILL flip this whole thing around. Niall DOES help her. If it wasn't for him, she would most definitely be dead. Ya know? This is gonna be long, so...sit tight.
Now...for Liam and Britt. In case you didn't catch it...BRITTS PREGNANT!! AHHH!!! lol, they're cute. But...can we just TALK about Harry and Kendall? Okay. I have literally no idea what's going on there....one day they're up, then they're down. (Ps, I drop "subtle" hints as to what will happen, in case you haven't already noticed....) I dunno...all I know is..they fight a lot, and Kendall is emotionally unstable sometimes....(not as much as kenzie, but you get my point) And DONT WORRY. I didn't forget about Kendall's step dad. (In case you did......he beat up Alexa and wants Kendall back. Ps, he's a LUNATIC.) But yeah. Rant over. Tell me your ideas PLEASE.

-Niall's POV-
"Kenz?" I asked slowly. She looked up at me, her eyes red. She rose her eyebrows in a questioning glance. I reached out to push her hair behind her ear gently.
"Hmmmm......?" She slurred, as she gently nudged her face against my chest cutely.
"Would you have....done it tonight...if I wasn't here?" I asked slowly. She looked up at me, her eyes questioning. She blinked tiredly and reached behind her to grab her glasses off the nightstand, blinking again as she put them on. I marveled at how cute she looked with them on. Almost as cute as when she wore my glasses.
​​​​​​ "Sorry. My eyes hurt...." she whispered, rubbing at one of them, looking embarrassed. I shook my head and touched her red cheek gently, smiling.
"It's fine love." I whispered as she bit her lip.
"I would've done it.....if you weren't here...yes...." she said quietly, rubbing her arm gently. I followed her gaze to her wrist, the long, deep cuts that littered it.
"You can always....always....come to me. Understand?" I whispered. She stared down at her arm and traced the patterns on her wrists with her fingernail.
"Yeah. I know." She said. We fell into a comfortable silence as we laid there. Her head on my chest. My arms wrapped protectively around her. Her soft breathing tickling my skin. I reached down and traced the little birds that were tattooed on her arm, leading away from her wrist.
"What does this symbolize?" I asked quietly, not wanting to break such an odd silence. I traced over the small birds and she smiled up at me.
"It's a secret." She whispered, just like she did the first time I asked her. I smiled, remembering that day........

««Flashback»»
I stood behind Mackenzie as she looked in the mirror. My arms snaked around her waist and hugged her to me from behind firmly. My hands rested gently on her stomach and I felt her sigh and lean more into me, breathing in deeply.
"What's the matter?" I whispered, as I buried my face into her sweet smelling hair.
"I have a weird feeling. I feel like we're being watched." She whispered back as I buried my face into her neck, wanting to feel her warm skin against mine. I tilted my head gently to look at her face in the mirror and I felt her breathing hitch as my breath hit the skin behind her hair. I brushed my lips past her ear, giving her small goosebumps. I smiled at the effect that I always had on her. I finally let my lips press a small kiss behind her ear, where one of her cute tattoos was. It was a dream catcher. It looked....cute.....and strangely.... it turned me on. I've never dated a girl with tattoos before....( ef78d0d1d2f5f9724a7320cbb2fab6) I slowly traced the outline of the tattoo with my lips, earning a smile from her as she leaned into me. I smiled as a throaty moan escaped her lips. I let my eyes drift up to hers in the mirror and her eyes widened as she slapped a hand over her mouth. I chuckled as I nibbled at her ear gently, making her close her eyes and let out a breathy sigh in pleasure.
"Why a dreamcatcher?" I asked as I fought desperately to keep my voice normal and steady
"It's a secret." she whispered, her breathy voice turning me on even more. I put more pressure into the kisses I was trailing down her neck, making her moan quietly, as if she were trying to hold it back. But...I didn't want her to. I wanted to feel her body pressed up against mine. I wanted to here her voice. I wanted to feel the pleasure. I wanted to feel her hair in my hands. I want to feel the softness of her skin in the darkness. I wanted to hear her gasp. I want to take my mouth to hers and lock us together, so that she'd never leave again. I wanted to feel the way she tugs at my hair when she kisses me. I wanted to feel her. Just her. Only her.
I was surprised at the dirty thoughts and longing running through my head, so I decided to ask another question.
"What other ones do you have?" I asked against the scorching skin on her neck, trying desperately to keep my voice even and not raspy from the passion that sat in my chest. I felt her quivering underneath my touch and I smirked. I was only asking her questions to try and distract myself.
"Umm......" she stammered, her voice was shaking as I continued to kiss up her jaw quietly, creeping up on her. "This one." she said quietly. I pulled away from her and stopped kissing her neck as I looked down at her arm at the tattoo of birds, flying away. I looked at the curvy letters, spelling out faith. I gently reached out, taking one of my hands off her waist as I traced the letters with my fingers, tracing the birds silently. ( demi-lovato-tattoos5)
"They're pretty. But....why?" I asked as I leaned down to rest my head on her shoulder.
"I don't know. Just.....felt like it." she replied. I sighed, gently nudging my head against hers cutely.
"Do you have anymore?" I whispered her eyebrows rose in an embarrassing expression. She looked, flustered and embarrassed as her cheeks turned a slight shade of pink, heating up.
"Yeah........but I'm not gonna show you that one.....not for now. It's too.....personal...." she whispered. I smirked.
"Is it dirty?" I inquired and she gasped, making my smile grow.
"What??!? No!!" She said loudly and I laughed.
"Then it's in a dirty place....." I suggested, but she only shook her head.
"Nope. Just personal is all." She replied and I shrugged.
««end of flashback»»