This is not the end~ Fourth book in PLMI series

I saw...-36

A/n- Okayyyyyy. This shit is emotional. You may or may not cry. I know I did...

-Louis's POV-
I woke up to a dull ache in my head. It was throbbing and persistent, not wanting to go away for anything. I groaned and rolled over, shoving my head into the pillow.
Why oh why did I drink so much? I literally don't remember anything from last night. Hopefully...I didn't do anything I'll regret...if you know what I mean....
I slowly moved the pillow off my head and slowly sat up as my head spun. I blinked, trying to get the alcohol to settle in my stomach. I winced as my stomach churned and I covered my mouth, gagging as I ran to the bathroom to puke in the toilet.
The beer tasted awful coming up and I coughed after I was done. My hands shook as I stood up and washed my mouth out with water, as I wasn't in my own flat, so my toothbrush was back at home. I sighed and walked on shaky legs to go and sit back on the bed. I dropped my head into my hands and ran my hands through my hair, sighing.
"Oh my God." I whispered, as the image of my girlfriend. My girlfriend. Mine. Kissing Zayn. I closed my eyes, trying so hard to get the image out of my mind. But...closing my eyes only made it much worse. My anger came back and..like a fire inside me......was threatening to burst out of my chest.
I gripped the sheets in my fists as I clenched my jaw. The tears begun to pour down my face. Once I started crying, I couldn't stop. I began to sob, pulling at the sheets as I stood up and ripped them off the bed. I bawled my fists at my sides, then began to pace, moving my hands up to my hair as my head throbbed, topping off my insanity. I began to throw things. Anything I could find really. I heard a frantic knock at the door, but I ignored it, throwing a picture to the wall where it broke. As I saw it smash into the wall, my hands began to shake and the tears fell faster, running in hot streams down my face.
"Louis. Open up mate." I heard Harry's voice say through the door. I sunk to the ground, holding my face in my hands as I sobbed.
"Go away." I choked out. I heard a click, indicating they had found a key to the room and were unlocking it.
"No!" I screamed as Harry and Zayn came into the room. "Get out!" I screamed at them in my insanity.
"Oh Lou....." Harry whispered, his eyes sad and wide.
My heart broke for him to see me like this. I didn't even notice or care that Zayn was in the room. I continued to sob as Harry came near me. I backed up against the wall as my body shook harder than ever. I was really crying now. Harry tried to wrap me in a hug and I scooted away.
"N...no......get out..." I sobbed, my voice coming out in high voice cracks. For the oldest of the five, I have the highest voice.
My hands shook as I pushed Harry away. He looked like his heart was breaking for me. I didn't want him to have that kind of pain as well as all the other stuff he was going through.
"Louis.....please...."Zayn pleaded, his dark eyes wide. They had dark circles underneath them. His hair was messy as if he hadn't touched it in a week. I slowly stood up, my hands, my legs, and my whole body shaking. The effects of the alcohol from last night were evident, making my world spin as I continued to let the horrid tears fall down my face.
I looked up at Zayn, as he was a bit taller than me. Don't worry, I'm working on that. Everyone's gotta grow sometime right?
"Louis. I'm so sorry...." he whispered, his eyes pleading for me to understand. My heart went out to him right then. Right then...I didn't see the bastard who kissed my girlfriend.....I didn't see the jerk that helped my girlfriend cheat. I didn't see that boy. I saw.....the Zayn that screamed when his own girlfriend died. I saw myself, Harry, and Liam holding him down to stop him from hurting himself or someone else. I saw the boy in a coma in the hospital as I sat by his side. I saw Zayn standing next to Audrey's coffin. I saw him crying in the service so hard he had to be led out. I saw the Zayn that struggled with smoking. I saw the Zayn that sometimes cried himself to sleep over Niall's condition. I saw.....well....I saw...my friend. Not a jerk. Not a bastard. Not a player. Just....Zayn.
I cried even harder at this as I engulfed him in the tightest hug possible. He hesitated and froze at first, wondering why I was hugging him probably. He finally hugged me back tightly as I held onto him, sobbing onto his shoulder.
"I'm...s..sorry." I sobbed. Harry joined our hug as they both held me together. Zayn scoffed.
"You're sorry? My God Louis. I'm the one who's sorry." Zayn said, shaking his head. I continued to cry, sobbing as I let them hold me together. We stood there in silence, letting it consume us. It wasn't awkward, just...dull.
"Well.....here we are..." Harry said awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. Zayn released me and Harry hugged me tightly for longer than was probably necessary.
"Haz...can't....breathe...." I said, choking as his tall frame almost squished mine. He chuckled and I wiped my face off as Zayn handed me a tissue.
"Sorry mate. So..are we all good?" Harry asked, implying that we should all make up and all be friends. Again, Liam was right...Harry is the glue. I'm actually surprised that we have survived without Liam.
"I guess." I sighed. Zayn looked at me guiltily again, his eyes scared.
"I really truly am sorry Louis. I....I didn't know what was going through my head..." he whispered, looking down at the ground. I gently touched his arm.
"We'll talk later..." I mumbled, picking up the picture that I threw and broke. I gasped at the picture it was. A picture of Audrey and Zayn, kissing in the snow. I gently picked up the glass and threw it in the garbage as I rescued the picture from the pile of glass. I blew it off and looked behind at Zayn, handing the picture to him. His hands shook as he reached out and took it from me. Harry didn't notice this because he was busy picking up other things that I had thrown.
"I..." I started, but he shook his head slowly, turning away from me and Harry. I saw a tear glide down his face before he walked out of the room without another word. I could faintly hear him sniffling as he walked out. I heard the door to his room close gently and I sighed....looking down at the other picture I had broken. This one was of her with her family. Now I feel worse.....

-Zayn's POV-
Louis reached down and rescued the picture from the glass, shaking it off gently. I instantly knew which one it was without even looking at it. He looked up at me, his eyes softer as he held it out for me to take. I swallowed and reached out my shaky hand to take it.
I looked at Audrey's blonde hair, half of it hidden underneath a hat with the snow falling gently in the background. Her head tilted back gently to kiss me.
After what happened yesterday...this feels like a kick in the stomach, sending me flying off a cliff.
"I......" Louis started. I shook my head slowly and felt the tears well up in my eyes as I looked at the peaceful picture. It's not peaceful for her. She's dead. She left me here alone. My head screamed. Then I betrayed her by kissing one of her friends. I am most possibly the worst person ever.
I felt a tear spill over my lashes, betraying me as it fell down my cheek while I turned away from Louis. There was another picture laying next to Louis's foot. I didn't care to look at that one either. I already knew which one it was. Why do you think they were in the guest room? So I wouldn't have to see them, that's why.
I walked out of the room, gripping the picture tightly in my hand, tears falling quickly as I walked to my room, trying to keep my crying under control and not too loud until I got inside and shut the door.
I sat down at my desk and looked at the drawings that covered my walls. Everything. I had drawn a lot lately. Ever since she died...it's the only thing that keeps me sane. I grabbed a pencil and slowly drew out the outline of a rose.....

-Harry's POV-
I saw Zayn walk out of the room, his shoulders shaking slightly. I sighed and looked to Louis, who got up, to follow him. I grabbed his arm, pulling him back.
"Let him be." I said quietly, my voice low.
"But...." he protested and I shook my head.
"He needs to be alone." I whispered. He nodded and sighed. I felt bad for the both of them. I had to stay here last night. Mostly to make sure the both of them were okay....but....the other reason was because Kendall and I had fought and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't let me in the flat anyways. So...whatever.
"Hazza?" Louis asked. I jumped.
"Oh. Yeah?"
"Did I do anything last night that would be.........I dunno....." he trailed, trying to find the right words.
"Bad?" I suggested.
"Yeah."
"No. Not really..." I sighed. He nodded, looking relieved.
"Okay. Good."
"You seriously don't remember anything?" I asked and he shook his head, looking ashamed.
"No..."
"Oh. Well...you puked all over my car." I said. His eyes widened then he winced.
"Oh. Haz I'm sorry." He said sincerely, but I waved it off.
"It's okay. I'll get you back eventually." I said, smirking. He looked at me suspiciously.
"What does that mean?" He asked. I shrugged.
"What do you think it means?" I answered his question with a question, knowing he hates this.
"I don't know." He admitted as he sat down on the bed, still looking hung over.
"Exactly."

A/n- Okay. That was emotional. I'm flowing with these quotes. Really. But honestly. I love the bromances. So like...when Harry was about to hug Louis I was like....THEN THEY KISS. PLOT TWIST!! But I'm joking. I ALMOST DID IT THOUGH. IT WAS THERE, BUT I DELETED IT. LIKE....ITS THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN YOUR CHARACTERS ACT GAY. EVEN THOUGH THEYRE TOTALLY NOT. LOL. IM HYPER.