This is not the end~ Fourth book in PLMI series

Bonus chapter 5

*BEFORE EPILOGUE

-Mackenzie-

I never really felt alone until the moment that I was checked into the psychiatric ward of that hospital. I didn't have to walk far, because they rolled me in a wheelchair.

     Now I know what Niall felt like, being looked down upon all the time. I hated it. I hated people looking at me like I would break. I hated people looking at me like I was crazy.  I wasn't crazy, I just hated myself. That shouldn't be so hard for people to grasp.

      "Mackenzie,"Harry said quietly, his eyes on me as I was rolled into my new room.

       There was a girl in a bed next to the wall and my bed sat against the opposite wall. It obviously was made up to look like a normal room, but, it wasn't.  The dark walls of Niall's room was what I was used to. These were a sickening shade of yellow. I hate yellow. The one fucking color I hate and they have to put it on the walls.

       "Mackenzie, this is Liz, she's your roommate," the nurse explained. My head whipped to the side to give Harry a glare.

      "I don't want a roommate," I growled angrily, shooting Harry a look. He only shrugged like he didn't know what was happening.

      "I don't know who did that, I put private room on the papers," Harry protested before I could yell at him. Liam stepped through the door then, putting his hands on Harry's shoulders and smiling sadly down at me.

       "I did. I thought it would be good for you to be with some girls your own age that are going through the same thing you are," he said.

       "But, that isn't fair, I want to-" I started, but Liam cut me off with a strict look.

      "It doesn't matter what you want. You're here to get help, and purely that. You should be thankful that you're even alive and you're able to get the help that we all know you need," he said a little too loudly. Liz, who was sitting up more with the yelling, gave him a sick smile.

       "They tell us to be thankful that we're alive, when all we really want to be is dead," she said quietly, making me smile as I made eye contact with her.

     I like her.

      That left Liam speechless. He looked at me angrily for a second before glancing at Harry. Harry's eyes were focused on Liz with intent. I could see why. She looked quite like Kendall, just a bit smaller, if that was possible.

      "I'll see you next week," Liam grumbled before heading out the door quickly. Harry peeled his eyes away from Liz and smiled at me, gently picking me up and putting me in my bed. He kissed my forehead gently and smiled.

      "I'll come visit as much as I'm allowed," he assured. "Get better,"

       "I'll try," I whispered. 

       "Love you," he said as he opened the door.

       "I love you too, give Gabe a kiss for me," he nodded, closing the door behind him, leaving me and Liz all alone.

"Sorry about them, they're set on me getting better," I said instantly, she smiled at me slowly, pushing her dyed red hair out of her eyes.

"Who are they?" She asked me, crossing her legs underneath her as she sat on her bed.

"My friends I suppose. They're all I have left," I admitted. Her eyebrows rose and she tilted her head.

"Aren't you famous? I've seen you before, and that curly haired one. Is he your boyfriend?" She asked. I smiled gently and shook my head.

"He's not my boyfriend, he's in love with someone else. I'm a singer, my name's mackenzie. The two that were here were Liam and Harry, they're from One Direction. I was married to Niall, who was also from the band before he died of cancer," I admitted. Her eyebrows rose up into her hair and she frowned deeply.

      "Wow. What a backstory. I've heard your music by the way...it's really good," she complimented and I nodded, thanking her as I sat down on my bed.

      "So, why're you here?" I asked suddenly, making her chuckle slightly.

       "I like you. You get to the point," she laughed. "But, my mother put me in here. She thinks I'm crazy. I'm in for eating disorder, self harm, and suicide attempt. It's basically just an excuse for my mother not to see me anymore. She hasn't visited in ages," she rolled her eyes.

      "Wow. I'm so sorry,"

      "Nah. It's good. She's a bitch anyway. What you in for?"

      "Self harm, suicide attempt, eating disorder, and alcohol addiction," I said. She let out a chuckle as she tied her bright red hair up with a scrunchie. Maybe I should dye my hair again...

"They think we're crazy," she whispered, laying backwards on her bed. I smiled lightly at her and did the same.

"We probably are,"

"You and I, we can help each other," she said suddenly. "I'll show you how to tip toe around the rules here, if you'd like. And you, you can introduce me to all your pop star friends once we get out. Alright?" She laughed. I smiled and closed my eyes.

"It's a deal,"

-Liam-

I followed Harry out the front doors of the rehab center, both of us silent. As soon as we got into the car, Britt smiled at the both of us, her smile always lit up the room.

"How was it?" She asked. I gave Harry a knowing look and he shrugged at me.

"It's nice, but her roommate is a little...weird," I admitted. Britt frowned at me and shook her head.

"She is probably going through more stuff than you can fathom Liam, so don't be so quick to judge. Meeting new people is hard for some people and you probably freaked her out," Britt scolded me. I nodded slowly, keeping my mouth shut for the remainder of the drive. I wasn't in the mood for more lectures.