Not The Only One (Slow Updates)

Chapter 34 ~ Our Tainted Love

Chapter 34 ~ Our Tainted Love

-Carolin's POV-

I re read the card over and over again. Each time I do so, the more overwhelm I feel with an indescribable feeling. I don't know how to feel about this to be honest but at the same time I can't deny the way my heart beats fast at the kind gesture. He bought me flowers and wrote this beautiful note, this is a shock and so out of his character. Everyone knows that the Michael Reed never goes out of his way to make a romantic gesture to any girl, not even Kelsey. Maybe keeping him out of my life is a mistake..

"What does it say?" James ask curiously, scanning my face for any hints.

I clear my throat before reading the note to him, "Dear Carolin, I know that you don't want to speak to me after every single thing I have done to you, I wouldn't blame you for doing so. But I can't help but continue my pathetic attempts to work things out between us. I know I should stop trying but I don't want to give up on you or on us. Even when your forgiveness is the absolute biggest challenge right now, I'll keep trying no matter what. No matter how hard it gets I'll keep going because I know it's not easy, you're not easy. You're not always affectionate. You're not always the kindest person from time to time. One day you make me feel invincible like nothing can ever break me but the next you make me feel weak. Your cold attitude tends to scare me, I know you're not usually like this but after what I did to you, I deserve it. Sometimes I want to give up, to leave, to run. But I don't. I will always find my way back to you whether it's by my thoughts filled with memories and images of you or by me physically being drawn back to you, because underneath this cold exterior you have on you're still perfect. You're still my entire world and I wouldn't want to give that up. If you give me the chance to explain myself I will tell you everything, all the wrong I have done to you and continue to do, I will explain why I did them. If you're willing to hear me out meet me at the park. M."

Once I finish reading I look up taking in my brother's speechless expression. James holds out his hand, silently asking permission to read the card which I gladly granted him. His eyes move as he reads the card taking in every word. "So what are you gonna do, are you gonna meet him?"

"I-I don't know." I stammer, should I meet him? I mean he must've went through a lot to make this kind gesture. And I am curious of what he has to say to me and c'mon it's Michael for crying out loud, whether I want to admit it or not he has a hold on me that I can't shake off. "I think I will meet up with him."

James stood up straight walking around the counter towards me. "Carolin you have to think about this for a minute. This guy has hurt you so many times, played you and humiliated you. I don't understand how you can be so quick to hear whatever pathetic excuse he has."

"I know that but I don't know.. maybe a small part of me hopes that we will work things out and be together." I say in a hush tone.

"Look I get that you like this guy but I don't want a repeat of what happened with the last time you liked a guy." James mentions, his face full of genuine concern.

I know he worries about me a lot, especially when it comes to guys, but seriously I'm almost eighteen. I'm not his baby sister anymore. I can take care of myself and I'm sure that I won't let any guy hurt me as bad as my ex had. I promised myself that.

Granted, I kind of didn't do a good job at keeping that promise but regardless I think I know what I'm doing.

"It's different this time." I finally reply glancing at the beautiful bouquet of roses on the counter. I thoughtfully touch the soft petals as I go over the pros and cons of my decision. "I think I know what I'm doing this time."

James sighs running his long slender fingers through his dark curly hair. "I can't talk you out of this, can I?" He questions to which I answered with a shake of my head. He sighs once more. "Well in that case be careful this time."