That Boy With The Beanie

No, I wasn't going to do that

The pizza was really nice, however I couldn’t really concentrate. Calum and I had awkward stares, but mostly ignored each other. Luke, Michael and Ashton shared laughs, and I tried to join in, I really did. However, I just couldn’t get involved into conversations. Calum, too. He couldn’t concentrate at all. He just sat there, eating pizza, looking slightly saddened.

“I’m stuffed” Michael exhaled “You guys still hungry?” He asked. I shook my head no, so did Luke, but Ashton just nodded and continued eating. He must have really been hungry. “Cal?” Michael directed to Calum. He was zoned out, and ignored the question, accidently. “Helloooo?” He waved his hands in front of Calum’s face. He flinched and looked shocked.

“What?” He asked, seeming slightly annoyed. Michael repeated the question and Calum just simply shook his head no.

“Ok guys you wanna sleep? Or watch a film?” Michael asked, and Calum seemed to zone out again. He was looking at the ceiling.

“I’m not tired, so film?” Luke said, looking at me.

“Uh, yeah cool” I responded, not really caring. I mean I wasn’t tired, and  I know for a fact I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway, knowing what I had done. Michael collected the plates, practically threw them into the sink, and went to the room, gesturing us to follow. Ashton finished off the pizza, while Calum went to the toilet and Luke and I chilled on the couch. Michael set up the DVD player. He looked through the films he had under the TV, inside the cabinet.

“What films you like, Charley?” Michael asked, turned to face me.

“Um, anything really, RomCom best probably best” I responded and Michael didn’t reply, just nodded, and turned back to his DVDs. He picked one and handed it to me I nodded, and smiled, so did he.

“You know what?” Luke said, after a quite long silence “I don’t think I've ever seen a RomCom” Luke spoke in a chilled tone.

“Really?” I said, quite shocked.

“No, too hard for that, me” Luke said, and I laughed. He pulled a fake shocked face. That made me laugh even harder.

Maybe me and Calum really did mean nothing. That me and Luke were way too strong for any of this shit. Luke means everything to me. Calum was just a stupid decision. Decisions actually. We, me and Luke, will come through this, stronger.

Anyway, I can’t tell Luke about Calum anyway. It would totally break them, and with the tour coming up, I could never do that. If I was going to do that, tell Luke I mean, I would have to tell him, after the tour. Maybe I should just keep it to myself, I mean, it didn’t mean anything. Did it? Did it heck, Calum was just a friend. Was he even that? I had only talked to him today, so I couldn’t really say that he was a ‘friend’. So I wasn’t just going to ruin everything me and Luke had, for a person I wouldn’t even class as a friend.

No, I wasn’t going to do that.