Awkward (Cashton)

Chapter 8 From Speechless to Speaking

Last week was hard, after Ashton's complete breakdown I've been alone at school. I  went over  Luke's to see him yesterday, things aren't really better but he is seeking help which I'm thankful for. I'm beginning to speak again which is great but I never know when my voice will give out so I just stay quiet in class.  Today I'm surprised to see my boyfriend walk into class,He looks even cuter than usual in glasses and an oversized sweater. I smile waiting for him to sit next to me. "How are things?" I  ask. "Better, living with Luke is great I also got new glasses."  

"They look good on you," I comment. 

"Thanks."

"I'm glad things are going better, I missed your smile"  He giggles and I gently poke his dimples as the bell rings. Class is boring until I hear the teacher call my name during the middle of the lesson. 

"Calum?" I turn to see my teacher looking at me. I nod showing that I heard him. "Would you like to read for the class? I read in your record that selective mutism is a thing and relates to social anxiety so you're not speaking because you're anxious? How are you going to get through life not speaking, how will a girl date a guy who chooses not to speak? I feel everyone's eyes on me and I sink down into my seat.

"Why are you talking about his personal life in class? That's unprofessional and so is bullying your students. Calum is going to find someone someday who doesn't care about him being mute and he's not selectively mute as far as I'm aware." Ashton looks over at me.  "I'm not going to read your answers for in class discussions you won't get the grade unless you talk." He says. I frown and bite my lip and look back down at my work trying not to let his words get to me. "Sorry, he's a dick," Ashton says looking over at me. "I know." I try to say but my voice gives out.   "When did you stop talking? Ashton asks when the class is over. " When I was fourteen I never talked that much anyway so.," I say.  "So how old are you now?"  He asks curiously. "Sixteen." His eyes widen at this. 

"But I'm speaking again a little at a time, just takes some effort." I shrug opening my locker. I stick my books on the top shelf and check my hair in the mirror. " Are you checking yourself out?" Ashton laughs. " Yeah, I can have crappy speech but look good." He rolls his eyes a smile on his face. I shut my locker and follow him down the hall. 

"You want to hang out after school?" Ashton asks as we  walk into the cafeteria."  "Sure." I'm about to say something when a girl walks over to him.  "Ashton oh my god where were you! I haven't seen you home in days!" "Hey, Katelyn."  His tone is flat and slightly emotionless "Who is this?" She asks. "Calum this is my older sister," Ashton says and looks nervous for some reason. "Dad kicked me out the house." He says. She looks shocked. " You just made that up considering you seem to hate everything he does." " Why would I make this up? He kicked me out." He says angrily." So why did he kick you out?  "Kate, he's been hurting me for years you just fail to see the truth."

 "Why did you get kicked out?" She repeats, He takes a deep breath and looks at me before smiling and crashing our lips together. I'm surprised by this but accept. He pulls away. "What the hell was that?" She sounds surprised at what just happened. "Me kissing my boyfriend." He says matter-of-factly. "Your gay?" She asks. "Yeah, and dad wasn't happy so he beat me up and kicked me out." He says. "Ashton I always knew." She says. "W-what?" "I knew forever and so did mum and she would be  proud of you." She tears up a little. "I hope so." He says looking at his converse.  "Where are you living then?" "With Luke he offered and his mom accepted so," "That's nice of him..." Her eyes wander over to our table. "I should get going but see you later he says and takes my hand and walks to where Luke and Michael are arguing about something. 

"Saw you talking with your sister," Michael says. "Yeah, told her that I got kicked out of our house."  "What did she say?" Luke looks at him curiously.   Ashton tells him all that happened and I notice something, he's leaning into me. I smile and take a bite of my sandwich. "This is random but um... I came up with a band name." Michael says. Luke rolls his eyes. "Mikey there is no band." "Were only missing a bassist."  My eyes widen. "You guys are starting a band?" "We are and finding a bassist has been an issue and-"

"I play bass." I blurt. Michael looks shocked. "I mean I couldn't speak so I taught myself to play and I'm okay but I can get better," I say. Ashton looks shocked too. "What can't you do?" "For a while speak," I say and Michael bursts into laughter. Luke looks nervous about laughing and Ashton is giggling next to me. "So what in- instruments.." I  try to say the rest of the sentence but my voice falters. "Guitar for us," Michael says. "I also sing," Luke says. 

"Drums."  Ashton smiles

 "I should have known," I say. 

"What do you mean?" Michael asks. "I'm into drummers," I say and wink.  Ashton smiles and kisses my cheek. "No PDA." Michael whines. "Let's just french kiss then." Ashton laughs. "Eww No," Michael says while  Luke rolls his eyes at this. "Come to rehearsal tonight it will be fun," Ashton says. "I- I don't know I still can't speak that well as I -" My voice gives out I   roll my eyes in frustration and pull my phone out and type I frown and type ...I used to, damn voice." I  sigh. "Doesn't matter just come." I will what time?" I ask my voice sound rough making me down half of my water bottle.

"Seven at my place," Michael says. 

"See you then," I say as the bell rings signaling that lunch is over.