Awkward (Cashton)

Chapter 51 Can't Wait to See What You Do Next

Ashton POV

"...You may now move your tassel and throw your hats into the air, congratulations to the class of 2014." Our principal cheers into the mic. a sea of red graduation caps goes up into the air followed by everyone trying to catch them. After what feels like four hours, I've finally done it, graduated high school. I follow the rest of my class to get our diplomas before meeting up with our families.

"Ash!" I turn to see Luke running over his diploma gripped in his hand. "Congrats." "You too." He beams giving me a hug. "We can go find your mom now right?" I ask getting my phone out of my pocket. "Yeah, she said to meet her outside." He says. I follow after him and down the hallway where other graduates are taking photos.

"Ashton!" I turn to see Calum running over to me.

"You did it!"  "Not without you," I said glancing over at my boyfriend a smile on my face. He straightens my cap and gives me a tight hug. "I don't get any congratulations?" Luke pouts. "I can't forget about you," Calum says giving him a high five. "Ash." I turn to see my sister who hugs me tightly. "I'm so so proud of you." She says still holding me tightly. "Kate you can let go." I laugh. "Sorry." She lets go of me and smiles. "Your grad parties tonight right?"

"Tomorrow." Luke corrects her. "But we're getting dinner tonight," I say. "My parents said their coming and my sister, is that okay?" Calum asks. "Yes, that's perfectly fine." I smile hearing my boyfriends family care about me enough to go to my grad dinner."

"Aren't we in the way?" Calum asks looking at the crowds of people as they squeeze by us. "We can go outside and stand on the steps," Luke suggested. "Sure." The four of us stand on the stairs people watching for a moment. "Oh and after my party, I'm taking you out," I say looking at Calum who's all smiley. 

"You don't have to."

"Yes I do, where do you want to go?"

"Wherever you want to graduate." He says pressing his lips on mine. "You two are so in love," Luke cooes. I get home and change into something more comfortable before going downstairs for dinner. "Hey I um have something for you," Kate says handing me an envelope. I look at the front of it and see my name in my mom's handwriting and swallow. 

"Where did you find this?" I ask incredulously looking back at her. "In the house, before we sold it, I walked through all the rooms and it was so weird cause I went into like her study you know? And I felt like she was there, I can't describe it but..." She takes a deep breath and continues. "So I was looking at the bookcase and packing away some books and there it was." I open the envelope gingerly my hands shaking a little. The tiny envelope seems to be bursting at the seams with the amount of paper that's stuffed inside sparking my curiosity. I open it and find a stack of pages of lines paper folded neatly together.

"Did you read it?" Kate shakes her head, "Of course not." I look over the letter and flip through the pages, The feeling of nostalgia hits seeing her handwriting and I try not to get choked up. I unfold the pile and slide the last paper of the pile moving it to the top. I look at the date and see that it's a few weeks before she died. My heart twists as I begin reading.

Dear Ashton,

I'm trying my best to keep going, but it seems my time is coming to an end. I know that theirs no way I can comfort you in your time of grief, especially with you being so young. I know Kate will take care of you and protect you as best as she can from your dad. I'm sorry that he is so cruel to you, he just doesn't understand what a gift you are to this world, with that adorable smile and those dimples ( those have always been my favorite feature about you) Perhaps he's jealous of how joyful you are. Don't let him think you're weak, because you are so much more than that. Keep your friends close, especially Luke, he's a good kid and the type of friendship you have doesn't come around that often. I 'm getting tired now but I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and to always be kind, but I know you will be, you're a good kid, and I wish I could watch you grow up, that is my biggest regret.

I love you so so much, and I'm sorry that I have to leave you and your sister so soon.

Love you, forever and always,

mom

Ps. Congratulations on graduating, I know you will go on to do great things!

I slide the letter back to the bottom and look at all the other ones in the stack and see they are numbered. I don't speak for a moment as I try to even think of what to say. "You okay? "Kate asks. "She knew.. what was going to happen and... did you get letters like this?" She shakes her head looking at the pile of paper in my hand. "No, but I saw the envelope and knew I had to take it."

"Thank you, for this." My voice warbles and the hot tears build in my eyes making the whole room blurry. "Of course." I slide the letter to the top again and look at the bottom and see a doodle of sun and another of a moon when a light bulb goes off in my head.

"You're my sun and your my moon." Kate muses looking at the symbols. I smile. "You remember that?" She nods tearing up a little. "Yeah, when we were little right?" I nod blinking the tears out of my eyes.

"Hey, Kate?"

"Hmm?" She dabs at her cheeks.

"You want to get these tattooed?" She looks at the page. "Yes, I would love to." She gives me a hug, neither of us says anything for a minute as I grasp the letters tightly. "I should get ready for dinner but thanks.." She pulls away and nods. "I should go downstairs and help get ready, I'm glad I found that envelope." She says and leaves my room. Dinner that night is pretty enjoyable. 

Luke and I face time Michael and tell him about graduation, and how we wished he had been there. He shows us around his new house which looks really nice and brags about being near a beach. "So it's not as bad as you thought," Luke says. He shrugs moving the phone closer to his face. "I have yet to make friends but I just got here so I'll have time."  

"That's the spirit," I say. 

"How's it feel to finally graduate." Luke gives him a thumbs up. 

"Feels great,"  I reply. 

"I should get going but I'm glad you guys called."

"We weren't not going to call you, also did you get Calum's text?" I ask looking over my boyfriend who told me to ask that. "I did,  tell him thanks." 

"Your welcome,"  Calum says sticking his head in front of mine so he can see Michael. We chat a little longer before hanging up.