KP/C&B/TF Jokes! #24

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What if I changed my name to limpweaselSUCC...?

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-Finally, some Ben & Reese-

Ben: I SWEAR, IF YOU DON'T QUIT YOUR SHIT, YOU GON CATCH THIS DICK

Reese: Don't you mean catch these hands--

Ben: NO.

Reese:

Ben:

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Jeff: I eat Cheerios because they're heart healthy!

Jeff: And my heart has become severely damaged...

Jeff: .......so Ellie if you're out there--

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Ao: For how much money would you have sex with Ben?

Reese: three grand

Ao: *throws money at him*

Ben: *gives thumbs up*

Reese: oh um

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Jack: this-this is...th...this is how to flirt

Jack:

Jack:

Jack: hey bud

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Ben: *blowing a wicked cool, difficult smoke trick*

Reese: *fucks it up*

Ben: *glares* God dammit, you're lucky you're fuckin hot

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Ben: You been drinking again?!

Jeff: I don't even drink anymore don't come in here with all that

Ben: Then who's water is this?? *holds up water bottle*

Jeff: ....I neED WATER TO SURVIVE

Ben: YOU KNOW WE DON'T DRINK IN THIS HOUSE

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-If Ben Ever Gets Mugged-

Person: Hey stop, give me your money

Ben: I don't make money, I take some, and when it comes around the corner I snake some

Person: That makes no fucking sense

Ben: *peace sign*

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Jack: *teaching math* Ben has nineteen bottles of dish soap and he gives Ellie--

Reese: Wait, why does Ben have so many soaps???

Ben: *pouring soap all over himself* MIND YO DAMN BUSINESS, REESE

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-When Reese Is Too Hardcore-

Jeff: Hey bro, can you gimme some of that water?

Reese: It's not water

Jeff: Ah, vodka! I like your style.

Reese: It's vinegar

Jeff: What--?

Reese: *leans in really close* Its vinegar, pussy--

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Reese: Tell me what you like about me

Ben: That ass!~ *falls back*

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