our fall in may||BWS (completed)

Chapter Fourteen

(That's literally the best song for this chapter tbfh)

Bradley

I thought I knew depression. I thought of it as a friend, welcomed it almost.

But I never suspected to feel so empty after leaving May.

May's name described her within three letters. The month of May is beautiful. It displays the hope of warm summer air coming soon, and is mixed with the rain-her blindness. May is bright and full of sunshine to recover from the wet weather of April. The word was even beautiful.

I didn't abandon May because I didn't like her.

It was because I cared for her too much and knew I couldn't give this beautiful, disabled girl what she needed in life. If I kept contact with her, I wouldn't be able to control how she made me feel.

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I don't remember what it felt like to have a tearless face and clear white eyes instead of red and puffy. I can't breathe unless I imagine her face or listen to her voice through the messages she left me until a few days ago. 

"Hey, Bradley, its me, May, again...I was wondering if you're alright? You haven't been in group and I was sad when Richard told me you quit."

When begged Linda to let me stop going to group, she was confused, but saw how badly I wanted it. Richard offered one on ones, but I refused to leave this room.

I hadn't showered in a week and only moved to my drawers for the blades. I didn't even remember food's taste, being willingly deprived of it so long. I lived off water. 

Linda begged me to talk to her, but she knew her efforts were useless. I didn't want to see the light of day again, knowing May will never again.

Is she in as much pain as I am?

It felt as if someone had punched through my chest, leaving a gaping hole for all the pain to openly enter through. I sobbed louder than I ever had and felt like Connor was missing out on sleep, but Linda said he understands. I had at least twenty new scars across my arms.

Why am I in so much pain over one girl?

One beautiful, kind and inspiring girl.

Mayella.

_________________

Anyone else notice how May doesn't have a last name? *smirk*

Bradley is a literally ball of sadness and depression held together by tears. 

-Rose