Unexpected Love (Editing)

Chapter 89

Devastation-Severe and overwhelming shock or grief.

After Jackson told me there was something wrong with our baby, I wanted to run, to act like that conversation never took place. Physically I did run, tried to escape those words, but emotionally I couldn't. His words echoed through my brain repeatedly as I failed to distract myself with paperwork and schedules, so I had no choice but to confront this nightmare, to find out for myself if there's for sure something wrong with my son, because I knew I was never going to believe it unless I saw the scans and heard the words from Wilson myself, so I found her and she confirmed everything Jackson said, but even then I wanted to deny it, but I couldn't once I saw the scans. Once I looked at those pictures I had to accept that my baby has osteogenesis imperfecta. I spent the whole night researching and looking at different case studies for all four stages of the disorder. I had heard stories about osteogenesis imperfecta during med school, but it had never crossed my mind that it might be something that my baby would have. Right now, I just wanted to escape my reality, to block out what's going on, so I've been working all morning, since patients started coming in just trying to focus on something besides the fact that my baby is sick and I don't even know how sick he is.

"What do we have" Meredith asks walking into the E.R. room where I was examining a patient.

"Patient is hypotensive, has a low D-Stick reading, and has free fluid in the belly, but there are no neurological deficits so you can take over" I say as I move aside so Meredith can take my place

"You okay" she asks

"Yeah" I lie as I remove my trauma gown

"Are you sure? You sound like something's on your mind" she says

"I'm fine" I sigh before walking out of the room, then going to check on the next patient. This patient is suffering from a brain bleed, so I'm going to have to operate, which I'm more then ready for. I need a surgery to occupy my mind and give me something to focus on. I take my patient to the O.R. and scrub in before beginning the surgery. Of course even though I was operating, my mind was still on my baby, I mean how couldn't it be. As a mother knowing that there's something wrong with your child and there's nothing you can do about it is not something you can escape, but I need to keep operating, so I can feel like I'm doing something, like I'm helping somebody.

"More suction" I say to the scrub nurse as I operate. "Owen" I say glancing over as Owen walks into the O.R.

"Garcia, how we doing in here" he asks

"Well it's a mess, but I'm handling it" I say as I continue to operate

"Lily, I'm tagging you out. I have Amelia, scrubbing in. She's going to take over this surgery for you" he says

"What, why. I've got this" I frown

"Just let Amelia take this one" he says

"No, I'm good. This is my department, my surgery and I am not leaving" I say

"Lily, I'm telling you it's fine. Amelia is going to take over" he says

"Oh, I get it. Jackson came and talked to you. Told you to pull me out of surgery, like I'm not capable of knowing when I should operate or not. Well I can operate. I know what's best for me, not Jackson not anyone else, so just let me operate" I sigh in frustration

"Jackson's downstairs and he's waiting for you" he says

"Well, I'm working here" I say

"Liliana, let Amelia take over" he says

"Is that an order. Are you ordering me out of my own O.R." I ask

"No, I'm asking you" he says

"Well, my answer is no" I say