Unexpected Love (Editing)

Chapter 91

Liliana's pov

1 week later

Today is the day. The day that I'm getting induced and delivering my baby. I always thought that the day that I had my baby would be the happiest day of my life. I never expected that it would also be my saddest.

"What time did you come to bed last night?" Jackson asks as we sit in Nicole's office waiting for her to bring in some paperwork that we have to sign before we start the process.

"I didn't. I was working on the schedule and getting all of the paperwork in order for Amelia to have while I'm out." I sigh. Everyone at the hospital knows what is going on at this point and they've all been as helpful and encouraging as they can be, even though nothing can really make Jackson and I feel better right now. I know I'm going to be out for a little while after today so I'm leaving Amelia in charge for me until I return.

"Lily, no one expects you to be worried about paperwork at a time like this." Jackson says.

"I know, but I needed to be. I needed something to focus on to try to distract myself." I sigh. I felt like I was going crazy. I've felt helpless a number of times. Watching my mom die, being in the O.R. while George died, being stranded in the woods after the plane crash. This was different though. I was carrying this child inside of me that I loved with all of my heart and I had to let him go. To let him die. My motherly instincts were telling me to not go through with the induction today, but I knew that I needed to do this for my baby. There was light tap on the door gaining me and Jackson's attention as Nicole entered the room.

"Hi." She smiles politely before joining us at the table. "So I just need a few signatures before we begin."

"So what exactly happens after this. How do we get started?" I ask as she hands me a pen.

"Well, after we're done here I will take you to your room. I'll give you the medication that starts dilation, then the pitocin, and your body will know what to do from there." She explains.

"Okay." I nod swallowing the lump in my throat.

"So, this is for the birth certificate." She says handing me the first sheet of paper. "Have you two decided on a name?"

"We're still working on that." Jackson says and I nod my head in agreement as I sign the paper.

"Okay. Well you can just sign now and we'll fill in the rest later. Uh, these are the consent forms." She says handing me more forms.

"I think we signed those." Jackson says.

"Not these. Uh, what we're doing today is an induction termination. You're at 24 weeks so technically, we could intervene to keep the baby alive after the delivery and these are just forms to make it official that you don't want extraordinary measures taken." She explains making me tense up. Even though I know this is what I need to do, part of me still feels guilty for not taking extraordinary measures to keep my baby alive, like I'm letting him down even more then my body already has.

"We're doing what's best for him." Jackson reminds me as he grabs my hand.

"I know." I sigh before we sign the paperwork.

"What are those other forms for?" I ask as Dr. Herman pulls out more forms.

"Uh, these are, um for the death certificate." She says.

"Really." Jackson frowns at her.

"Can we not yet?" I shake my head.

"It's better to get all of the paperwork out of the way and then you never have to worry about it again. Do you need a minute?"