Chapter 20: The Bottom of the Ocean Playing Board Games with Hitler

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It's the light streaming through the window that ultimately wakes me up, not an alarm nor a person but instead warm and calm light. As my eyes adjust to it I can't help but resound the feeling of calmness and the feeling of constancy, my heart always seems to feel that way the day after I've had a meltdown and believe me I've had quite a few.

The next thing I feel is a heart beat on my own and a body blockading most of the light from my view. Jesse's body moves slowly as his chest heaves up and down in a steady beat and my eyes widen in realization as I throw my body upwards and begin to panic, all calmness and constancy fly out the window as I realize I'm not in my own bed, or in my own home but rather sleeping next to the one boy who's seemed to change my whole world and I don't know whether to hate him or love him for that.

Jesse's eyes open at the sudden movement and quickly props his elbows up to watch me have my little panic attack.
"Oh my gosh my mom is going to kill me!" I shout and leap from the bed to see it's 8:45.
"We missed first period!" I scream turning to Jesse who's simply resting on his elbows in a casual manner with a small smirk on his face.
"Jesse! We're going to get into so much trouble!" I scream again only for him to respond in a low chuckle.
"Pipsqueak I called your brother telling him you slept over at my house in a guest bedroom cause you... weren't feeling good," he explains and I know that he told my brother about my meltdown but feel no surprise whatsoever, "And who really cares about first period I miss all the time and never in my life have gotten in trouble."

"Jesse you got suspended last week," I voice dryly and he rolls his eyes with another low chuckle.
"I've never gotten in trouble for missing pipsqueak," he hops up and I take in his appearance that I never really got to admire last night due to my teary eyes.
"Why don't you take a picture it'll last longer," Jesse grins noticing my wandering eyes as he makes his way over to me and I feel my face heat up at the comment.
"Sorry I don't want to break a camera," I glance down at his physique but it's obvious we both know that's a lie.

"Alright well, we can stop at your house for your clothes but in the meantime, I'm going to take a quick shower."

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The second I show up to school in third hour my brother stalks towards me like a wild beast approaching it's prey and for a moment I fear for my short little life.
"Kira are you ok?" he grips my face and then begins to attack me with more questions about last night and even asked so far as the dreams part in which I attempted at answering as truthfully as possible without having another meltdown.

I could feel Jesse's eyes on me throughout the whole time and practically hear the wheels turning in his head as my brother begins to spill more and more information about my mental state.
"I'm fine," I finally hiss after the tenth question, "I don't want to talk about it. Honestly I'm surprised you're sober enough to care," I bite at him and he inhales in shock, blinking at me a few times before finally processing what I just said.

"You know nothing," my brother sneers before suddenly storming off down the hall.
"Kira?" Jesse's cold voice questions from behind me and I bite my tongue to suppress from screaming in anger.
"I don't want to talk about it." With that I take a sharp turn and barge into the English classroom for third period.

I quickly take a seat in the back and to my distain see Jase waltzes in with one of his drug dealers of a friend and I watch as a wicked smile crawls onto his face. He slowly makes his way towards me and plops down in the seat to my right, the second the smoke meets my nose I gag and glower at his disgusting figure. He simply leans back stretching his arms, showing off the sweat stains under his arm pits and the shiny hair on his head glistens in the school's awkward lighting.

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