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-- 12. Remember (11.06.2017)

Ok before I go straight for the review: As I told you, I am not the best adress to wish for a review regarding english books, because I only write german. Anyway, I will try my best giving you a proper review, so here we go!

Oh and for an english writer stumbling upon this: this is the first and last time I accept an english story to be reviewed by me!

Title of the book: Remember
Author: hidden_1nk
Chapters: 12
Status: Ongoing
Rating:

Why this rating?
I like the questions popping up while reading your story, also (as far as I can evaluate) your english is on point. The pace with which you are going is a little fast, but still okay. Also as a reader one has currently a good overview and isn't confused with what is happening at the moment.

Blurb:
Imagine being stranded in the middle of nowhere and no memory of who you are. You're dumped at a coffee shop with no idea what your next move shoud be or wheter you should trust anyone. A random dark figure following your every move. The only lead you have is a note telling you to remember. What would you do? Well that's what I'm trying to figure out.

Content:
Maple, a name she gave herself, finds herself in a coffee shop and asks for directions to the next police station, when a employee, Drew, offers her to drive her there. But on her way - and once she gets there - mysterious events occur and she wonders what is up with her having no memory at all.

Characters:
Maple
- careless
- headstrong

Drew
- caring
- obliging

Sawyer
- harshly
- mysterious

Cover:
It is kept simple but nevertheless beautiful, but the font used for the Authorname is a little illegible.

Presentation:
No images or songs are used.

Conclusion:
I would recommend this book to anyone who loves mysteries. It is written in a well english and is also worthwhile.

! This part is my feedback for the author, so there might be some spoilers. If YOU want to READ THIS BOOK, then DO NOT advance !

Mistakes / Plotholes / Own opinion:
You do very well. Compared to other english writers on Wattpad I am following and reading books from, your style can definitely keep up.

The only thing that was really bothering me is the fast pace you are running with while writing your story. Literally.
You are only two chapters into the book and Maple already falls unconcious, even if it has to happen early on, at least wait with that until chapter three. Instead you could describe even more feelings or her wandering around the city trying to reach the police station but Drew then finding her and offering a ride.
The reason why you should let her wander around aimlessly is, because Drew just goes straight away from his shift (yes it is nearly closing time, but that doesn't mean he can run off like that) and that seems too convenient.

Drew calling 'finding her memory' a mission gives too much leads to himself. The moment he said that it was clear that he must know something or must be similar to her, so instead of calling it a mission you could try him naming it 'nasty thing', gives also a hint, that he lost his memory, but not as much as the mission thing, especially when he formulates it as a question "Losing all your memory must be nasty, isn't it?"

Also don't let her hear the conversation between Lisa and Drew, where he says he was the same as her. At least not that early on, because Maple wondering why the hell Drew would help her, is much more fun (I know I am sadistic).

In 11 Chapters (haven't read the newest yet) not even one clue about her memory seems a bit off. Even if it is just a picture she sees for a brief Moment, it would give her something she can work with or try to think about, even though it wouldn't help her much.

What I really would have liked to know is how the ringing hurt Maples ears, because 'hurting' is very general. Is it a stinging pain going deep into her head, is it so loud that it seems unbearable or is it just a normal pain, like when you have inflammation of the middle ear?

I would really like to read more about Maples feelings, how she feels like when others treat her the way they do, how she thinks about other people, you can use literally everything, also if it's just the information that she hates yellow and an explanation why she hates it... You write from first-person, so use that to your advantage.

Because this is the first and last review for english books, I will give you tips directly in this chapter instead of creating another one for it:

From 'Tipps: Mein Nachbar , ein Vampire ?!?': 9.Never give your readers too much information, to keep them interested and yearning for the answer.
From 'Tipps: Quest Of An Äreviel 1: Die Legende der Kierline': 5. Try to go slowly from one moment to the next in your head and write it down.
From 'Tipps: Being loved isn't always easy...': 2. Describe your characters inner life.

Also, I would like to ask you two offtopic questions: Is it really called blurb? Sounds like burp... And how exactly did you stumble upon me when you asked for an opinion? xD

I hope I could help and did an acceptable job.
Greetings,
SolarisAmaterasu