Behind Classroom Doors

XXXIII- Saturday

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The rest of the week goes by fast. Hunter informed me that he can be after school three days a week while I get the other two. I gave the rest of the week to him so that it buys me some time to bring it up to Dean. Now that it's Saturday I get ready to go to Shawn's house. My nerves are bubbling up and threatening to spill over. It's not lost to me that whatever Shawn and I are doing isn't right but it's all I can think about.

Just as I finish getting dressed I hear the front door open. My parents aren't coming home for another week so I know It's Dean. He walks up the stairs and doesn't bother knocking before making his way inside my room. "Hey Liv." He greets, coming up and kissing me.

I pull away first, turning away from him. "Are you okay?" He asks.

I nod, "I'm fine, I was just about to leave."

Dean frowns at my words. Normally he spends the weekends with me, "Where do you think you're going?" He comes up to me and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me to him. His hand comes up to my face and I flinch, "Relax, I was just going to move your hair out of your face."

I look into Dean's blue eyes, there's a coldness to him that scares me. "I'm going to see my cousin, Sarah." I lie.

Dean holds me in place as he tries to read my expression. "It's kind of short notice isn't it?" He's never met my cousin before and I pray he doesn't try to come with me.

I shrug, "It's the weekend, she's probably just bored."

Dean sighs, his hand reaches to the back of my head. "You've been acting really distant lately." I let out a cry when his fist tightens around my hair and pulls. "Are you seeing someone behind my back?" I try not to focus on the throbbing pain on my head as he holds me in place.

"Dean stop!" I try but he doesn't listen to me, he never listens to me.

"Answer me, Livia." He demands through his teeth.

If I told him the truth he'd hurt me so much more than he is right now. "No! Let me go, please."

I don't know if he believes me but his grip loosens, "You better not be lying to me." Dean threatens as he lets go completely. I struggle to find my balance as I try to stop my head from pounding. Dean jets out his hands to steady me and then grabs my face so that I look at him, "I'm sorry, just stop being so distant towards me okay?" His voice is soft as he makes this my fault.

Regardless of how I feel towards him right now I
nod slowly. Dean smiles, leaning in and kissing me. I force myself to kiss him back but he's so unfamiliar now. How could I have let this get so bad?

"I'll see you Monday morning and be ready by seven." With that Dean kisses me one more time before walking out. I wait until the front door closes to let the tears fall down. I'm so sick of feeling this helpless. I was never supposed to become the girl that gets pushed around and abused by her boyfriend. Not only am I that girl but I'm the girl that messes around with her teacher. I'm the girl that lies and cheats, I'm the girl I never wanted to be.

Even knowing this I still want to see Shawn. He's the one person in my life that I can talk to about everything I'm going through. He makes me feel things that make me forget all about my troubles. I can't get him out of my head. I compose myself and walk over to the bathroom to wash up, I have a hot teacher to meet.

About an hour after I get there Shawn and I are more than half a bottle into some wine and laughing on his couch. "I still can't believe that happened." I admit.