Behind Classroom Doors

XIII- My Teacher and I

The lie to my friends came easily enough. The good news is that I'm clumsy in real life so running into a pole is completely believable. "Jesus that pole got you good," Jenny says as she examines my face. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you got smacked." She jokes half-heartedly.

I force myself to laugh with her. "Yeah, well I need to get to Mr. Morgan's room. I already missed his class so I don't want to be late." Jenny hugs me goodbye before I walk away. Dean hasn't talked to me much throughout the day, I guess he's giving me the space I asked for. 

When I walk inside Mr. Morgan's room I quickly pull up a chair and begin working on the stack he left out for me. "Hey."

He doesn't look up at his computer when he says, "I figured you were absent today. That stack of papers was for me."

I wonder what he's always so engrossed in on that computer.

"I just overslept, I came in after your class." He just nods in response and goes back to typing. I'm thankful he hasn't looked up at me yet because it means I don't have to lie.

Throughout the next half hour or so I finish grading and stand up. "Where do you want these?" I ask, lifting the papers.

His typing doesn't even falter when he says, "In the supply closet. The box with finished assignments written on it." I nod even though he doesn't see me and make my way to the supply closet.

I set the assignments on the table and search for the box. You have got to be kidding me. I think to myself when I locate it on the top shelf. "Mr. Morgan?" I call.

The typing sounds stop, "Yeah?"

"Could you help me? It's on the top shelf and I can't reach it." I hear his chair roll out and footsteps toward the closet as he makes his way to me.

"Sorry I could've sworn I-" He stops when he looks up and sees my face for the first time today. "What happened to your face?" He walks up to me and lifts my chin so he can see the mark Dean left on my cheek this morning.

"I ran into a pole." I lie but I can tell he sees right through me. Mr. Morgan lets go of my chin, "This was no pole. Dean hit you didn't he?"

I shake my head, "No, no I told you he wouldn't hurt me." But he did Livia.

"Bullshit."

"Bullshit?" I question. "You don't know anything about my relationship Mr. Morgan." But so far he knows more than anyone.

He looks at me for a moment, I notice his tense muscles and tightened jaw, "Then why do you look so scared every time I notice a bruise?" He asks, walking up to me. Mr. Morgan is so close that I can smell his cologne and feel his body heat. "That night at the club...you said please because I know what you're hiding."

For the second time today, I start to cry. "I'm sorry." I sob. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore." My hands come up to cover my face as I cry.

I feel Mr. Morgan moving my hands away from my face. Then his arms wrap around me, pulling me to him. "Don't be sorry, none of this is your fault." His voice is softer and more comforting than I've ever heard.

I sniffle, hating myself for crying on his chest, "I don't know who he is anymore." I know I'm practically admitting to him that Dean has been abusing me but I can't keep it in any longer.

Mr. Morgan pulls me at arm's length to look at me. The pads of his thumbs wipe away my tears. "You can't keep protecting him, Livia."

"I can't leave Dean, and I won't get him in trouble. I just can't do that to him. As dumb as it sounds I still love him." I know I shouldn't but Dean is my first love, I can't just give that up.

Mr. Morgan laughs lightly, "You don't know what love is yet." I scoff at his words but he touches my face where my bruise is, "This isn't love." The sad part is that I know he's right but it doesn't change how I feel. "You're so beautiful, Livia. You don't have to subject yourself to this." That's the second time he's called me beautiful only this time he isn't drunk.

Apart of me wants to argue with him by telling him I'm fine and he needs to stay out of my love life. A bigger part of me wants him to keep telling me everything will be okay. "What am I supposed to subject myself to then?" I question. "Dean is all I've ever known. He's been my life for the past three years and I can't just let that go."

Something flickers in Mr. Morgan's eyes. I can't put my finger on it but it seems almost like he's trying to decide on something. When his eyes meet mine he makes his decision. "I won't tell the principal."

"You won't?"

He takes a step back from me, rubbing the back of his neck. "No, I have a feeling if I tried to tell the principal you would cover for Dean and deny it. Leaving him needs to happen when you're ready." I'm curious if he's really this confident that I will leave Dean.

"What if I can't?" I ask out of genuine curiosity.

Mr. Morgan thinks for a moment about it. Then he comes up to me, so close again. His hand comes up to cup my face and just like at the club, I lean into it. Why am I so okay with this?

"What if I told you he can't make you feel as good as I can?" Before I know it he pulls me into him. When his lips touch mine my first instinct is to kiss him back. His lips are so soft as they expertly move on mine. Mr. Morgan's hand moves to the back of my neck for better access as I run my fingers through his hair. He groans softly in my mouth as we continue our kiss. I feel like electricity is shooting through my whole body, begging me for more. Mr. Morgan seems to understand this need as his other hand grabs my waist and pulls me to him. I'm in a daze, drinking in his touch, his lips, and his tongue as it meets my own. I've never been kissed this way, so hungrily and passionate.

A moan escapes my lips as Mr. Morgan presses me against the nearest wall, he moves down as he kisses my neck. His moves are desperate, enticing, it draws me in like a moth to a flame.

Then I remember that he's my teacher, and I'm his student, and I have a boyfriend...

"Wait, you have to stop," I say, interrupting what felt so good. Mr. Morgan pulls back, both of us breathless and hot. He searches my eyes, for what I don't know. "I-I have to go." I walk past him in a hurry. I need to get the hell out before something else happens.

"Livia, wait!" He calls after me. I grab my bag and glance up to him, his hair is disheveled and his breathing is still erratic. I did that to him, I've never done that to anyone before. Not even Dean.

I can't stay, I can't pretend like what we did was okay because it wasn't. So I turn and walk out the door. Once I'm down the hall I see Dean walking toward me. "Hey, Liv."

"Dean, what are you doing here?" I ask, trying to control my breathing so he doesn't suspect anything.

"I figured you needed a ride. I'll take you home." He's speaking to me in a light tone, does that mean he's guilty?

I look back and see Mr. Morgan in his doorway looking at us. I look back to Dean, "I can't Dean. Becca is taking me home, she's waiting outside. I told you I need space."

I walk past him and thank God that he doesn't stop me.