Irrevocably (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER NINE

PERSEPHONE

My heart started to pick up its own pace. I know how violent Zach gets when he's drunk – which was almost every day, meaning I also got my daily dose of an ass whipping. My body is so worn out, I can't take any more hits but who was I to complain if I took his life away? He was nothing but a dull boy now.

I slowly walked to him and reached for his arm.

"Z-Zach let's go home. You can't afford to be hammered in front of these people" I spoke as gentle as I could. I know he can't hit me in front of them, but I was still scared of what drunk Zach could do further.

"Get away Persephone," He said through gritted teeth which caused shivers to run down my spine. I quickly loosened my grip on his arm and sat on the table beside him. I looked at him downing shots as if they were water. My throat burned for him, we all know what alcohol can do.

"P-please Zach we have to go home" I begged him

"I was murmuring silent Please's to him. I can't have him looking like a god damned fool over that vile being. The girl had the tiniest conscience I admit, after having that talk with her I at least thought that maybe she had a heart. But not enough heart for Zach.

"I told you to stay away from me Persephone! God knows what I can do to you" He said whisper shouting while gripping the shot glass ever so tightly.

"b-but-" I was cut off yet again because he gripped my arms tightly and dragged me to the exit only to drag me to the car and shove me roughly inside it.

I silently prayed to God- or whoever twisted my life to the way that it is now. I can't help but panic when Zach started driving rather on an incredible speed just to get to our house. I can feel a bubble of panic attack course through my body. My hands were shaking and I was sweating. I tried to calm myself as I breathed in and out, I felt my eyes water.

He said he'd change, He said he'd try.

Those words kept repeating on my brain like a broken record. Was it wrong to hope? Was it wrong for me to cling onto that fleeting moment where I saw my best friend again? All it took for him to go back to the monster that he was was seeing Lauren again. I can feel the heart and anger radiating off of me and I know this was not one of those nights; this was much heavier and scarier.

Was I that scared? Of course! I died in front of him a few days ago! Of course, I was! He should've let me die. I no longer wanted to love as if I was just a thing, a punching bag that absorbs his rage. I had no life in me anymore, I also had no more fight left in me. With his every touch I just flinch away from him, I can't even look at him the way I do before. I've been reduced to a fucking shell and I couldn't do anything about it. Because right now I only have two options: Stay with him until he fucking kills me or Run away and don't look back and see my mom suffer. I can't be selfish, not now. My mom gave me everything I have right now, it's my chance to give back and be the daughter she deserves.

I can't believe this was the Zachary Larson I fell for, I can't believe that he was capable of these things. The one I fell for had the biggest of hearts he was loving, he was warm to be with and I couldn't help but feel like a high school girl with butterflies in my stomach when I'm with him.

I looked over to him, this is the Zachary Larson I ruined. I could barely see him smile, he lost the warmth that people loved about him and replaced it with coldness. It hurt seeing him hurt.

The car came to an abrupt stop and I saw we were at our house. He quickly went out of his seat and slammed the door shut. I stayed in my seat shaking and on the verge of a breakdown. I didn't want to go with him, I was no longer just scared, I was terrified! I saw his figure walking away but then he suddenly looked back and ran his fingers to his hair with a frown. He shook his head and walked back to the car. My hands were inching to reach the door lock until he hit the roof of the car causing it to produce a big sound that made me jolt inside the car, I saw him reach for the handle on the car and opened it roughly and pulled me out with ease. He started dragging me inside our house, and by now I was shaking and crying. I knew this was another night of beating. I just let him drag me inside the house. He opened the door, and as soon as we were inside he shoved me to the couch causing me to collide with the coffee table and pain started to up on my legs and he closed the door with a bang!

I cowered to the corner in fear leaving my shoes on the floor as I tried to stand up. He had this murderous look in his eyes. And when his eyes landed on me, what my gut told me was to run as fast I could- and I stupidly followed what it told me to do. I ran for the stairs as fast as I could, I was half the staircase when Zach suddenly grabbed me by the foot causing me to lose balance and fall on the stair with a grunt holding myself up with my hands. All I could do was a grunt with pain as he let go of my feet and switched his hold from my foot to grip my hair tightly causing me to shriek in pain.

"Z-Zach!! You're hurting me!" I cried out

"Well, I guess I'm succeeding!" he shouted back at me with a sadistic smile on his face.

"Please! I-I can't take it anymore-" I was cut off with a resounding slap and it didn't help that my tears were wet with my tears making it sting more. I begged him to stop dragging me by the hair from the bottom of the staircase to his room. I tried to fight back but it only made him angrier resulting in a more painful grip.

He slammed his door open and shoved me in. I was cowering to the corners of the room while sobbing and hugging my knees. This is just a bad dream, just a bad dream I told myself, but who was I kidding? Everything was real!

He crept up to me yet again so I dashed to the comfort room but before I could reach for the door know he grabbed my elbows and pulled me to him and threw me on the bed.

I sat up and looked at him taking off his suit and tie.

"P-p-please let me go Zach" I sobbed as I begged him

"I could have had the life he has right now. I could have been a father" He said darkly as he slowly walked towards me. He brought his hands to my neck and gripped it tightly. I tried taking it off with both of my hands but I was too weak.

And then he suddenly stopped and just looked at me. He was so broken, he took and look at me and tears suddenly spilled out of his eyes as he clutched his head in his palms and sobbed his heart out as he hovered over me and rested his face on my neck. I could feel his tears there, and I just let him cry.

For the last 5 months, the only emotion that I can get from him was anger. And now, this was the most he's shown me since we got married... sadness and grief.

I tried to shh him so he could stop crying as I soothed his face. He lifted his head up to look at me. I traced small circles on his cheeks to calm him down. I got lost in his eyes, I was a goner. He slowly leaned down and I could feel my heart leap out of my chest. I was so lost in his eyes that I didn't feel his hands reaching for my neck yet again to choke.

" Everything's a mess because of you. I want to break you into tiny little pieces. So that you'll know what heartbreak feels like. How losing control feels like. How losing yourself feels like" He said and kissed me.

I didn't feel any love.. or any emotion. I didn't feel care. I feel like I was being taken to the abyss- I was being raped by the love of my life. I tried to push him off of me but he didn't budge. Instead, he reached for his tie at the side and wrapped it on my throat as he positioned me to the bedpost. He wrapped his tie around it and I was trying to break free from the tie but I couldn't. He held both of my hands down and he started kissing me on my neck while I thrashed all around. I froze at the moment he groped me, I never saw him in this light/ I just let him do all those things with me. My arms went limp, my body was frozen and my mind went haywire.

He stripped my clothes rather harshly, at that moment I knew my sanity was ripped away from me in a flash and right before my very eyes.

The only thing I could do was cry silently and just let him have his way with me. MY eyes were wide open with tears running down the sides of my face.

"I know you've been wanting to do this" He sardonically said

All I could do was keep crying I wanted to tell him NO. He quickly got off of me and took his clothes off.

"Z-ZACH! Y-you're better than this!" I cried to him and thrashed around the bed so that I could get away but he punched my gut which made me curl my body to at least ease the pain. He held my legs down and pried it open as he went between them.

"Iwas until you broke me," He said with a glare and did the unthinkable—he tookme by force