Irrevocably (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

ZACHARY

"I'm home"

Those words echoed through my brain when she said it. She had a sad smile on her face as she struck herself with the piece. And I swore I felt it too, the sharp pain it caused. I felt it too. Everyone was shouting and dashing to her as she fell limply, lifeless in my arms. And I just froze. I drove her away again, and I hope it's not for good.

Everything was in slow motion, she was looking at me with those hopeless eyes and the next she stabbed herself with the shard of mirror. And what scared me most was that I didn't feel or see her hesitate.

"My baby!!" Leslie shouted as she dashed to me and held her daughter in her arms. Blood flowing through her chest. I couldn't do anything but just look at her and just freeze on my spot.

Leslie was wailing at this point shouting her daughter's name trying to wake her up. Philip crawled to me and settled beside me as he tried to reach for his phone with shaking hands he was calling someone-- the ambulance I suppose.

"She stabbed herself! Y-ye-yes! Green peaks village! Yes, Rodeo Street! Larson R-residences! Yes please hurry!!" He shouted to the phone.

I was trying to make sense of everything, of what happened, of what transpired. It all went down quickly and In a blink of an eye, she did that. I never knew she could do that to herself. She was really in great pain and knowing I caused that, It was eating me alive.

I was still rooted in my spot, as I finally heard the sirens of the ambulance nearing.

It was all a blur from then, I didn't know how I managed to get to the hospital but I did.

We were silent, we weren't talking to anyone. It was dead silent in the hallways. Leslie suddenly stood up from her stool and slowly walked to me. I raised my head from my hands to look at her.

"I'm taking this to my grave, Larson. I treated you like a son and you treated my daughter like trash" She grudgingly said her jaws tight as she tried to stop her tears from falling.

"Les-" She cut me off

"No, I don't need your sorry's! I need my daughter back. You better pray or trade your life to the devil if that's what it takes!! you have to get me, my daughter, back!" She said angrily.

If I could, I really would.

I watched her leave once she was done talking to me.

I slowly stood up and grabbed a cigarette from my back pocket. I went outside and smoked. I was so screwed, Fucked up. Fuck. I leaned on the wall and I couldn't help but cry. All this time I did nothing but push her to the edge. I mean, we were getting there. We were slowly becoming better. We were fighting together. And now I don't even know where I stand, I don't even know where my chances are.

I wanted her to live, I wanted her to be happy. But how can she have those if I'm around? And the sad thing is, I don't even want to go away. It's so contradictory! It's so hard choosing between the love of your life and peace! Damn it!

I threw the butt of the cigarette. And slowly walked to the entrance of the hospital. I mindlessly walked in until I heard someone call my name. I looked back and saw it was.. Lauren.

Had it been the other way, could I have avoided all of this? I sure would.

She was in a wheelchair, her face was devoid of makeup and just looked.. pretty. She was far from the Lauren I knew in college somehow she looked at peace while looking at something through the glass.

"I've never known love in my life. But when I look at her, I just.. I finally do. "She said with a small smile on her face as she looks at the baby inside the room

"Yours?" I asked and stood beside her looking at the baby.

"Mine. Her names Sapphire" She said with a smile as she reached out to touch the glass.

"Pretty little thing. Just like her mother, congratulations" I said to her.

I never even got to hold my child. he or she was taken away from me before I could even hold and look at its eyes.

"Why are you here Zachary?" She asked me looking up.

My breath got caught in my throat. I can't relive the moment. I can't, It scares it breaks me!

"Is it Persephone? What happened to her?"She asked worry evident on her face

I just closed my eyes unable to give her an answer. I slowly opened them and saw her eyes with unshed tears.

"What did you do this time Zach. " She asked me looking at me as if I was some kind of monster.

Its kinda tiring you know? Having people to point out your mistakes and what a monster you are. It's sickening. It's tiring. But I deserved it nonetheless. It's like no matter how hard I work trying to prove to them that I can change. They can just trigger me with the littlest object and I'd spring back.

"Prince Zander." I murmured while looking at the baby boy

"Huh?" She asked

"That was supposed to be the name of our baby. But the baby didn't make it. I never got to hold him, care for him and love him. I could have been at peace." I said lowly

"I'm s-so sorry Zach. I can't imagine the pain you went through. I can't even imagine losing my child" She said clutching her heart while looking at her child.

"I did everything to make it right. I tried to fix us but she left me. She returned a broken woman, and I can't do anything but just look at her fight with her own damn self" I said as a tear slid down my cheeks.

"I wish I could have been there for you Zach. You and Persephone don't deserve this." She said as she held unto my hand

"I-I thought I loved you back then. But no.. you and I were just comfortable you were my safe place because I've been with you all throughout college"I said as I looked at her-- the girl I was supposedly in love with and felt nothing, no twinge of pain, no heartache, no desperation, just plain nothing.

"But when I saw her walk out of the door, that's when it hit me. The love of my life was standing beside me all along and I didn't even look beside me at all. I noticed when she left, I noticed how she filled the gaps inside of me. And I just treated her like that" I said as I slid down the wall and clutched my head in my hand.

"I-I didn't mean to hit her, I never did. I'd regret it afterward. It kept on eating me alive Lauren! I swear I didn't mean it, I wish I could go back. Let me go back. damn it" I sobbed as I suddenly felt her fingers running through my hair.

"I've seen it before you know. I grew up in a home with an abusive father and as a child, my mom would always put me first and lock me away before dad could even get to me. I never saw remorse in his eyes, no tinge of guilt. Nothing. But you, I can see how desperate you are for clarity, for peace, for love, for Persephone. You love her I know, I see that I can feel that too. But could you blame her? she was hurt by the person she never thought that would hurt her, you." She explained as I sat there listening to her.

"Acting out on your anger isn't the best choice Zach. It never is. If things take a turn for the worst, you know what to do. "She said as she wheeled away from me.

I slowly walked back to where Persephone's room is and waited outside. The three of us have calmed down. No longer do we have the energy to blame whoever, to threaten whoever. We were spent, we were now praying our asses off just to make Persephone okay. We needed her, I needed her.

My phone suddenly dinged, and I opened it unknowingly. It was from the P.I I hired.

"We got them, sir"

that was all I needed to finally unleash hell. I'll make them pay, those assholes are the reason why we are in this mess. They made everything messier! And who was I to deny myself revenge?