Irrevocably (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

ZACHARY

"I... I wanted to be there for you... God knows I would have stayed if I could." Persephone said

And I couldn't do anything but watch for the hundredth time as she broke me even if I had nothing left to break. A knock on my door startled me. I got up and opened it, it was Leslie.

"Let's go downstairs. The guests are already there." She told me sadly and offered me her hand for me to take. I shakily brought my hand to hers and took a deep breath before I could get out of the room.

We started walking down the stairs hand in hand to greet everyone who came. I've never been this nervous before. I wasn't even nervous on our wedding day. I can't even bear to look at her. She looks so pretty that it hurts, it physically hurts.

Everyone finally settled down and I walked to the podium to face everyone.

"Hi, I'm Zachary Larson, Persephone's husband. On behalf of our family, we appreciate the support you have given us in our time of sorrow." I never thought I could finish that sentence, it was just too heavy for me to breathe.

I felt like the world was closing in, the room was shrinking and there was no one but me and her in the room. I just stared at her, where she laid and how she looked. I never thought I'd see this day. We were doing fine... but she wasn't.

I mean, I kept looking for answers and even just hints. I'm even begging for hints just minor details that I could have seen.

"I was so blessed to have her as my wife..even for a short period of time" My voice broke by the mere mention of that "The last few months were nothing but happiness. I would wake up to her every day. I would tell her stories. I would laugh with her. It's just... it wasn't enough for me because I needed a few more time. She was my best friend and I spent almost six years of my life with her. We survived college together, I just wished our love was the same. I was blessed to have someone so kind, funny and considerate. She put others before her and I hated that. I hated that I couldn't protect her from everything. But still, despite everything she still came back to me. She still loved me. Imagine how big her heart is! No one and I really means no one can replace Persephone Argos in my heart. She was one of a kind and it has been an honor to be called her husband.." I struggled to say the last sentence as I felt a tear cascade down my cheeks. " I love her. I hope she knows it. I hope she believed it when I tell her so. I hope she finally had her peace, she deserved that much. I can't hate God, although I admit I blamed him.. I can't fight him on this one. The world was so cruel that he had to take Persephone and let her rest. My love, I love you and goodbye. I hope you knew that in this lifetime and every other lifetime..I'm yours" I finished the eulogy I wrote for my wife.

I bowed my head unable to raise my head in their direction. I don't want to show them how weak I could be. I had to be strong for her. For her. I walked down the podium and sat next to Leslie and my parents. She and my mom were crying silently for what our lives have become.

I couldn't blame God. I just wanted someone to blame and I know who exactly it was.

It was myself.

This was the ripple effect I didn't see coming. I pictured us living perfectly a few months from now. With her warmth beside me. I just.. I just need to feel her warmth. I can't bear to look at her casket. She was beautiful, that was a given. But it hurts to see the love of your life laying there, lifeless.

Sometimes I'd kid myself and just sat there in front of it waiting for her to get up and say "I got you good didn't I?" that was how her goofy side worked before. I'd give anything to bring her back.

And the sad part was, I didn't even say goodbye to her. I didn't even see her.

And now this was the last time I'll be able to see her, I know that her face will forever be etched in my brain. She laid there in a beautiful white silk dress, her hair was flowing and was curled decorated with small daisies in them. I went to her casket carrying a few flowers, instead of getting her favorite flowers I got her sunflowers. She was such a piece of sun drop. I touched her cold hands, I lingered there for a bit relishing in her touch even if it lost its warmth, I didn't care- I just needed to feel her. I drew small circles on her hands, she liked that. I gently placed the flowers on her hand. I caressed her face and placed a soft kiss on her forehead and stepped back and sat on my seat,