Kaleidoscope Eyes || Panic! At The Disco

f o r t y - s i x

I had to go see Dr Wayne while Venn went to see a doctor about his breathing.

I really wasn't happy about that.

Dr Wayne seemed to notice. "You seem unhappy."

"Yep." I muttered.

"Why's that?"

"Cause therapy makes me miserable? Talking to you like this makes me miserable?"

"This is literally our second session."

"I've been through this stuff before."

"Well, give it a chance. Anyway, is that the only reason? Becuase you don't wanna be with me?"

"And cause Venn's hurt. And Dallon's too busy for me."

"You and Venn have become rather close lately, huh?"

I nodded.

"Why do you think that is?"

"Cause he understands me."

"What about you does he understand?"

"The frustration of not being able to see, and I can talk about racing with him and it's just nice."

"Have you ever had a friend like that before?"

"Not really."

"I can understand why you're so fond of him then. He's been telling me about your um... camping plans."

"Right..."

"Did you not know about that?"

"No, I did. It just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen."

"Why do you think that?"

"I have no camping experience and well, it just doesn't seem safe."

"We wouldn't let you two go alone, we'd send at least 2 helpers with you guys."

"I guess."

"If you don't want to go, you can just tell him. He'd understand."

"That'd be mean. He's so excited."

"Look, I'm working on talking him into a compromise where you guys just stay at a hotel."

"Good luck."

"I think he'll come around. He just wants to go on a holiday. He's never been on one before."

"Huh."

"He's lived here since he was 10, or thereabouts. He's never actually spent a night away unless it's at the hospital."

"That's kinda sad."

"Welll, he wasn't socially ready for a placement within the foster system until he got too old, so he's just been here."

"Right..."

"You're really the first proper friend he's had."

I nodded. My mind started to wander.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Am I gonna be stuck living here forever?"

"Well, I suppose it depends on your future, and how you end up. You could end up moving in with your boyfriend, but until that becomes possible, you'll be staying here."

I frowned. "So yes."

"Look, you and Venn are in different situations. He's still a ward of the state, so they pay his rent, and he'll live here for the rest of his life unless he's moved to a different institution. You, on the other hand, don't have that. So you have freedom, and more opportunities than him."