Gotham imagines/Preferences ~❤~

Daddy's Detective~ PT 3

You tried to go on with your life like normal, going to school, doing your homework when you got home, hanging out with your friends, staying up late watching movies, anything to distract you. Anything to keep your mind off of that circus boy. Especially on long, lonely nights where you had plenty of time to think to yourself, he seemed to creep in every dark corner of your mind, mostly just taunting you, about how easily he fooled you into feeling sorry for him. You could hear the sound of his maniacal laughter from the way Jim explained it, though you had trouble picturing it because he didn't seem capable of it in the slightest but despite your denial of it at first, it was true. You recalled the way his mother's body looked, how it was hacked and slashed in such a brutal, merciless manner. He could have done the same to you if he desired, and the thought of it was enough to keep you awake all night, unable to find sleep no matter how much you needed it. You didn't know how you could have been so blind. You gathered whatever you could from the reports on the ginger, as much as they hurt you when you read each one describing how much he was sick of his mother's constant pestering and bitching, and how he would have done it again and again if he could. She sounded nothing like the woman he described.

The logical way to handle this would have been blaming yourself for having gotten so close to him on that day, wishing that you wouldn't have stuck your nose in his business, that you didn't comfort him. He was a remorseless killer. Yet, the longer you were away from him, the more you yearned to see him again. He had a hold on you, one that you didn't think you would be able to shake, and you weren't even sure if you wanted to. The thought of him consumed you whole, until there wasn't room for anything else, and you fought it for as long as you could until you finally learned to accept it, to allow him to torment you. More times than you could count, you were tempted to see him back at Arkham, so that maybe he could explain his side of the story to you, maybe there was more to it, maybe she pushed him to that breaking point-

No, you weren't going there. You were not going to make any excuses for a murderer. You couldn't go to Arkham to see him, because if Jim had found out that you did-

No, you couldn't go because of who he was, how he lied to you again and again, how he manipulated you into feeling sympathy for him with those crocodile tears. You wanted to see him the way you viewed all criminals in Gotham, the scum of the earth, and you were sure that the ginger fit that category, but the problem was admitting that to yourself. He was no different from them. You just had to keep reminding yourself that he was a psychopathic killer, to embed it into your brain that he could have done the same to you or your father. But he didn't. That was something that continually popped up in your mind. He didn't. Maybe there was a reason for that.

You felt something with him, something you couldn't seem to describe, something that you didn't ever feel with anyone else. The worst part of this all was the deep, wrenching pull of lust in the pit of your stomach that persisted without restraint. For some strange reason, you wanted him. You didn't understand why, but you did. There was more to him than just a pretty face, and you were intrigued by him, by the way he spoke to you, his lingering touch, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, there was an undeniable spark between you two, or at least that was what you thought anyway. You were convinced that everything he told you was a lie, so you were just fantasizing about the idea of him that you made up in your head, and you didn't know who that was exactly but what you did know was that you wanted to learn more about the person Jim interrogated, the side he didn't unveil to you.

Jim and Leslie never dared to mention his name, though you couldn't help but get the feeling that they were breathing down your neck. Because of the incident at the circus, they were spending every possible second they could with you whenever they came home from work, it was becoming a little overbearing but you figured that was a normal reaction when you had been so close to a killer just days before. You weren't going to complain though, you caused enough trouble by getting involved with him in the first place.