Not Enough (Scömìche)

CH 36

"You know..." Mitch whispers. Scott was just about to fall asleep, right in that in-between stage but now he's wide awake. Who is Mitch talking to? "I keep hoping one day you'll change your mind and kiss me, tell me I'm yours and you're mine... But I know that's not gonna happen..."

Who the fuck-

"I said I wouldn't commit, but that was before you. I'm fucking-" Scott hears and feels him shuffle, and there's a soft sob. He's not crying, is he? Scott wants to open his eyes and hug him, pull him close but he also knows that he isn't supposed to hear what Mitch is saying.

"I'm fucking in love with you, idiot. What we did at this party, I'll never forget it. We said we would, but it was one of the best moments of my entire life. Even though you refused to kiss me and friend zoned me right then and there... It was beautiful while it lasted. And I hate that this is all I get, a pity fuck from time to time, a pity kiss that you end up calling a mistake, but those pity fucks that hurt like hell are worth it. Because I'm in love with you, and even though I'm basically insane because I'm talking to myself right now I want to say it, because I'll never be able to get those words out in front of you."

Oh.

Mitch cuddles up closer to Scott, but Scott tenses. Mitch just poured out his heart to him, thinking he couldn't hear, but he heard everything. And he knows that... Fuck, he's in love with Mitch, too. He's ashamed of himself, embarrassed that it took him this long to realize it and admit it to himself, but he's been in love with him for a really long time, that he knows now. Suddenly he's able to put the puzzle pieces together, seeing the whole picture and being able to see how he acted around Mitch all this time, and that for every observing person it would've been obvious. But all he did was keep telling himself that he cares about Mitch a little too much and he loves him a little too much and with all those crossed lines between them it was just a little hard for his brain to comprehend their relationship. But the truth is, their relationship was never purely platonic. Since the first day there's been so much tension, his mind's been running wild and he's been trying to convince himself that his small physical crush was nothing more than just that. Even when he heard Mitch sing and his voice made his heart melt into a puddle he blamed his love for music and pretty voices. When Mitch confessed to him for the first time he panicked, his heart screamed yes, to take Mitch and make him his, but his mind freaked out and he ended up denying the only thing he could never deny.

His first kiss with Mitch was the most exciting moment up to this point. How his heart skipped a beat and he felt sparks on his lips. How he didn't want to stop whenever they kissed. But every time his mind freaked out and he ended up choosing contentedness over happiness, too scared to mess up what he had to have something even better.

***

Mitch wakes up to Scott observing him with blue eyes full of love and adoration. Or so he wishes, but he shakes the thought off quickly, reminding himself of all the times that he's been friend zoned.

"'Morning, Scotty," he whispers, his voice still very sleepy. Scott smiles softly.

"Good morning, gorgeous. You're beautiful."

"Aw." Mitch blushes, a small smile on his face now, too. "Stop."

"No..." Scott leans in, pecking Mitch's temple, then his cheekbone, he trails his kisses down to the corner of his mouth, making Mitch tense.

"What-" He pulls away a little. "What are you doing?"

Scott doesn't answer, instead cupping his cheek and pressing his lips firmly against Mitch's, but only to have the smaller boy push him away.

"Scott, stop, what- what's going on?"

"I'm sorry..." Scott just mutters, his voice breaking. "I'm so sorry."