How Great Is Our Love

Kabanata 39

24th day of April. All grade twelve students are in their wonderful dresses and suits covered with white toga. Smiles are written on every graduating student of SJA as they come up to stage and get their own diploma. The cream of the crop of this batch was given a privilege to sit on the stage but a chair, the one beside the valedictorian's was empty. I should be the one sitting there, but here I am watching the graduation rite from afar, together with the proud parents and the crowd  which I do not certainly belong.

I exerted my best to make my parents proud of me in the graduation day, I wanted to please them by graduating with flying colors and somehow I did, after everything I was announced as the salutatorian of this batch. But the six years of hard work, patience, and perseverance got wasted, my parents will never be proud of me again even how great my achievements will be, they will never treat me the same, pitiful I know.

Pero ang mga ngiti ng bawat isa ay biglang napawi nang pinatunog na ang graduation song. Lahat ng aking alaala sa paaralang ito ay biglang nagsibalikan. I transferred here at SJA noong grade eight ako kasi my Mom transferred me from an all girls school when she caught me having a romantic relationship with my best friend, Cassie.

Yes, I got a relationship with my same sex but I do not consider myself as a bisexual being because I know who I am. Nadala lang siguro ako noon kasi ang liit ng mundong ginagalawan ko, lahat ng nakakasama ko babae. But when I transferred here at SJA I saw what I did not see on my previous school years, ibang-iba pala talaga.

I got a hard time coping with changes, I don't know how to approach everyone especially boys because they were all so new to me. But along the way I'm so grateful to meet my persistent girlfriends, Marielle, Chelsea, Irah, Marj, and Mimi na hindi nagsawa sa pagiging snobbish ko.

Everyone was hugging each other with tears running down on their faces, I wish I was there to hug my mates too. But my parents would never love that idea, they will screw me like I am the most sinful person in the world if I will go and mingle in the public. I just sneaked from the house to see my bestfriends, give my graduation gifts and bid my last farewell. I guess hindi kakayanin ng konsensiya ko na umalis nang hindi man lang nagpapaalam sa kanila kasi after all that I've been through they were still there.

I know that I had lost time for them when I was enjoying in the fake company of Keith at kailangan kong bumawi sa kanila pero alam kong hindi ko na iyon magagawa dahil aalis na ako at sabay-sabay namin tatahakin ang magkaibang mundo.

I will just finish my exams, that's the deal after that hindi na ako magpapakita sa paaralan, ang mga magulang ko na raw ang bahala para makagraduate ako kahit hindi na pumasok after exams at umakyat sa stage. I know that with the power and connections they got, magagawa nila iyon.

I called Chelsea right after the picture taking and told them about my presence here inside the campus. Kinuha ni Papa lahat ng gadgets ko kahit laptop ko wala sa kwarto so I need to borrow Ate Grace's phone, mabuti nga at naawa sa akin kaya pinahiram ako ng pamasahe at cellphone niya.

"Gabbie!" Mimi squeaked as she ran towards me habang ang iba naman ay sumusunod sa likod niya. I tried to hold my tears, mamimiss ko ang mga ito.

"Bakit hindi ka na nagpakita?" Si Irah.

Dinala ko sila sa isang sulok kung saan walang masiyadong dumadaan para hindi ako makita ng mga tao lalo na ang aking mga guro.

"Anong nangyari sa inyo ni Keith?" Sunod na tanong ni Marielle.

Four days after the incident between I and Keith pumasok na ako, wala din namang mangyayari kung habang buhay akong magkukulong sa kwarto, what has been done had been done, wala nang makakapagbago doon. Hindi pwedeng masira ang buhay ko ng walang hiyang lalakeng iyon. Eventually uuwi ang mga magulang ko at papagalitan ako kung malaman na hindi ako pumapasok. Kung tuuusin maswerte ako dahil wala kahit isa sa bahay ang nagsumbong sa mga magulang ko na hindi ako pumasok ng apat na araw.