it's only when you're around

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the thoughts that run through my head (are you here? are you listening? are you okay? are you upset?) don't offset the beating of my heart (how many beats per minute? is it beating? are you an allergy? am i going into anaphylactic shock?) nor do they reassure me that you don't care (did i say the right thing? did i do something weird? did i laugh at something i wasn't supposed to?) they only worry me (i'm going crazy, aren't i? i ruined this, didn't i? everything is going wrong, isn't it?) but it's only when you're around

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