melted

it was merely positioning

i am thankful
for the life i live
the people i love
the things i list
could go on infinitely
if i tried
but

i wonder if it was merely positioning
that led me to where i am today
positioning
of me, baby b
labeled from the start as a second
i took a second to figure out
that i needed to be free
and then i was
straight into a world i was unprepared to see
skipping ten weeks of unbeing is nothing
compared to a year of living

was it merely positioning
that gave me the mind in which to read
positioning
of me, age three
months, add nine more until i'm deep
within a book, seated
constantly jumping between worlds of which
none were the one of my own, on my own accord
i ran straight into a girl i was unprepared to meet
reading lines off a page is nothing
compared to trying to read people's minds

was it merely positioning
that proportioned the way in which i believe
positioning
of me, red and green
stop and go, black and white
somewhere within i found the gray, beneath
the dim lights i hid, waiting for ruby-red slippers
i had been unprepared to be an unprecedented event
smiling bright is nothing
compared to bringing lights to every dark corridor

i don't want to think
that it was not me
and only fate
that brought me this present
the future unknown, i turn
only to the present
home in the distance
i position myself
toward the light
hoping and waiting to be
greeted someday
by someone i desperately remember.