melted

less of a poem

hey there! hey you, yes you right there, staring at your screen, computer or phone? maybe tablet? comment below!

this isn't much of a poem already.

watch as i break the wall from writer to reader and tell you all how i feel! watch as i explode into thank yous and i love yous and more thank yous over and over and over until i commit

perjury, because i'll swear that i haven't fallen in love yet and that's a contradiction! what did you think i was going to say?

watch as i tell you not to worry, not to give me compliments, it's not because i don't deserve them and more because i'm fine! watch as i say it over and over, i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine and watch as nobody listens, because everybody nowadays says they're fine but nobody means anything anymore except for the exceptions (of course there's exceptions) but i'm too normal for these exceptions, la di da watch me sing! i'll sing in the shower, sing for you as you fall apart, sing as my hands clam up with krazy glue, sing because it's what i know, sing because i worry that people think i'm obnoxious and trying to flaunt my singing when i sing, i'll sing anyway! la di da di da

watch as i delete this not-poem in an hour after i realize that i've gone off the deep end in terms of writing toward a niche! how many of you understand how much of a joke this is and isn't? take screenshots before it's gone, share it with your friends, i'll be the poster child for stigmas against the world when the clock strikes ten eastern standard time, doctors and tumblr hate her! i'm no smarter than you for saying whatever comes to mind, this isn't modern art, nobody's clamoring to frame this (don't say that you will, say that it's garbage, garbage is art these days too)

watch as i explain that all the things i write are lies but not lies (i'm losing half my audience here, including myself, let me paraphrase this incomprehensible paranoia) i'm not as sad as my poems, i'm not heartbroken or terrified or desperate, nor despondent, just human, i thrive off emotions like a vampire off of blood, i disguise it through poetry like a vampire hiding blood in cartons of strawberry milk like they do in the cartoons, i'm using you for your emotions, because i feel the same way but less often than you might think, this is less of a poem than you might think

will anybody be able to realize that what i say means nothing? not in a bad way, it's just that at the end of the day or the end of the night (who knows when you guys go to sleep, if you go to sleep, i'm surrounded by insomniacs, am i right? that wasn't a joke, nobody laugh, why are you laughing?) it's your prerogative whether you think about my writing or not, my compliments or not, my lack of intelligence or not (strike that last one, the positive train will run you over with even a semblance of self-deprecation, it's funny how hypocritical i am, always the one who's asking if people are okay, telling them they're loved, i can recite myself verbatim:

thank you so much, blah blah, i really appreciate it, blah blah, please have a great day/night!)

watch as i rinse and repeat, i'm not saying this to be mean or to tell you that you're not important - you are so important to me more important than you could ever comprehend - but i'm saying it because i don't want you caught up in what you think could be my symptoms, there's real life doctors for that, they have degrees and everything! it's not just a piece of paper to cover yourself with when it's drizzling outside

watch as i become too full of myself to even respond to other people! watch as i become too self-centered and start treating people like dirt! it's all equal except not really, i'm the pinnacle of communism, jewish communism, what a joke (not surprising, i am a joke, i set myself to be - in a good way, i'm just joking! let me live) watch as i don't do any of that because i care too much about all of you to do that.

watch as i tell you that i care about you, that i love you, that i've never stopped loving you.

watch and listen and i'll try my best to watch and listen to.

i've gone off my rocker - join me! tell me a joke, tell me a story in the comments below, don't forget to subscribe!

(this isn't a poem, this is a poem, pick a side.)