melted

smile for the pictures

it's strange to see your smile nowadays
it wasn't a foreign thing
but it just feels different now
listening to you is strange
even seeing you lately
i feel as if i shouldn't
who are you today that you weren't yesterday?
it's strange to know
that you smiled for pictures you'll never see
made remarks that you'll never hear responses to
see yourself in the viewfinder, it does its job well
there's an image of you we won't get again
every second of you is strange
from the way you walk
to the way you move, run, jump
into someone's embrace, you look so happy
this photograph of you has a smile
were you happy in this moment?
i find you in the back of my mind
and the front, and everywhere i'm not looking
you smiled in front of this building once
it's in a picture, i could search for it
i stand there now on my own
what thoughts were running through your head
when you were here?
the footsteps i shadow are nothing but memories
we keep these journeys in albums
locked away to reminisce over in a couple years
you like to wear all these different colors
but i can't think of any of them
i'm losing your face in my memories
it's blank space when i try to recall it
finding another picture to remember
feels more tiring than it used to
why do we care so much about who we were
when we forget about it anyway?
there's a picture of you in the window
and i can't bring myself to look at it
you never wear that black shade
that's displayed on everyone else's hearts
in our eyes, your reflection is describable
are there any words to correctly describe you?
there's a smile in the pictures that i don't know
i've never seen it before
there aren't any pictures of you crying
or being upset, or being mad, or being human
your entire life, equated to one smile
i tore up the paper they gave me
thinking that it wouldn't come back
i was wrong.

are you smiling now?