melted

the best of us on this damn universe

(i woke up to my eyes every morning. they looked the same every day. brown and sleepy, wishing to retain a dream in the retinas, upside-down flipped back again without warning. the world was my rude awakening.

they were the ones who let me rise by myself, a loaf of fresh bread for breakfast toast, and i saw through myself as my stare changed state. brown was not repulsive but comforting, not dreadful but dreamy beyond sleep. floating in a dream that melts into reality makes living feel almost as easy as sleeping. sometimes easier.

it was hard to go back that evening knowing that rest would be a far cry from those i had grown to call home. scattered among the stars were my guardian angels, all with their own constellational agendas. this goodbye hurt more than the last, but we moved forward to subsequent days with forgotten dreams to accompany them. my shoulders would not withstand their burdens so i grew to deny it existed, and i kept going without them.

alone feels more lonely when you remember together.)

{you were the one i was born to love. a secret garden, one i'd like to share with you, where phoebe birds soar above the low-lying alyssum. a weather we can both weather together, no compromising on cloud cover. do you recall the moments i cried more than i do? can you leave them behind for my sake, or do your memory and compassion not permit it? will you love me for the flaws i have tried to not display and hate me for the perfection i forced upon you? must you go home at the end of the night? i wish to rest in your arms, dreamweaver. catch me as i fall asleep and show me no mercy when morning comes. please, let me stay. please, it hurts to return. please, tell me a bedtime story in the afternoon. let me believe in you, for i have nothing left.}

[there is a fable about the tortoise that won the race and i have always considered myself the unlucky hare, foot impaired by the running running running running running running running away from fate that she warned you about, she told you to stand up for yourself, should you listen even if it is at her expense? can you keep running running running running running running if it means losing her forever?]

an ode to the best of us on this damn universe.
we deserve an entire epic, but nobody has time to write it.