Eh Yung Hindi Naman Tayo? DATI (COMPLETED)

Deep Freeze

November 27, 2017:

"Menggaaaaay!!! Please buksan mo na tong pinto." Dean kept knocking on the door and yelling for the past ten or fifteen minutes.

I can't be sure. I was still drowning in this overwhelming sea of tears and pain in my heart. I almost couldn't hear him over the deafening sound of my sobs. I was shutting out the world because it hurt too much.

I felt a heavy weight pressing on my chest and I couldn't breathe. I was very slowly drifting away and what clouded my thoughts were those words I read earlier after I called to check on you just an hour ago.

The hate was too much. The words were too much but I was not entirely undeserving of them all.

All those things they said about me, about the letter, about my family, about you... They blamed me for everything, their own pain, their sadness, even why you're sick, why you're hurting, why bad things are said about you and your family too. The most painful thing was I couldn't claim that they were entirely wrong because I am selfish, I am a brat, I am a coward. I didn't really think that much about the consequences of what I wrote in that letter. My only thought then was to us especially you free from all the expectations and limits that have been set with your association with me. I didn't think it would make things worse for you and that they will hurt you too. I was impulsive and stupid. So, yes, I deserved all the hate in the world.

"Maine..." It was faint but I thought I heard your voice.

Was that a dream? I am drowsy.

"Meng... Please open the door."

It was you. I could never mistake that voice, deep and strong yet soft like an angel's.

Angels...

Was I hearing angels? I felt like I was floating.

"Love... Please ... Can we talk?"

RJ...

I struggled to sit up and gasped for air as my head rose above the bubbly water. I didn't realize the breath I needed while I was submerged in the bath I was in until my nose was filled with it.

I didn't realize. I was just trying to.... I didn't really know what I was trying to do. I didn't really know what I was thinking. I just wanted all the pain to go away. I just wanted it all to end.

"Meng... Please... I need to see you." You said again and I thought I heard you sob.

You need to see me.

"Oh my God!" I gasped softly as I realized what could have happened after I deliberately took a couple of melatonin tablets before I got in the bath that I was in for the past thirty minutes.

I just realized what could have happened, how close I was and how you were the only reason why I pulled out of it.

"S-sandali. I'm in the bath." I called.

I got out of the bath, dried myself with a towel and put on my robe.

I opened the door and was met by Dean, who visibly sighed in relief when he saw me, holding his cellphone up to me with you on the screen.

You gasped tearfully and closed your eyes then whispered a Thank you as if in prayer.

"Hi, Maine." You smiled as you quickly wiped your tears and sniffled.

"Hi..." I answered and smiled weakly as I took the phone from Dean and slowly walked to my bed then sat on it.

"Iwan ko muna kayo." He told me and stared at my face with tears brimming his eyes.

Kailan pa naging iyakin si Dean? Weirdo.

I nodded and he left.

I looked at you again and you were staring at me as you wiped a few tears away again. It was quite obvious how you were trying to stop yourself from crying. You were trying to hide that from me but we both knew that wouldn't worked.

"Bakit ka umiiyak? May masakit pa sa'yo?" I asked and you sobbed as tears started falling from your eyes again.

You hurriedly brushed them away and shook your head. "Wala. I just... I miss you so much." You said but we both knew that wasn't the only reason.

"I miss you too." I whispered. "Pagaling ka ha?"

You nodded your head. "Wag mo akong alalahanin. Wag mo muna akong isipin. I'll be alright. Ikaw muna ang alagaan mo. Lagi na lang ako." You smiled. "Kumusta ka? You got me worried with your tweet there."

"Okay ako. Don't worry." I lied.

"Meng..."

"Hmmm?"

You sighed and closed your eyes before speaking. "I want to hold you. Pwede mo ba akong puntahan?"

The sincerity of your plea and the yearning in your voice was evident I can almost touch it.

"I..." I took a deep breath and held back what I really meant to say. I couldn't keep doing that to you. Pulling you back with me. "I don't think that's a good idea." I lied again and looked away.

I couldn't keep looking into your eyes without breaking down in tears.

"You need to rest. Magpagaling ka muna." I said.

"Okay." You sighed. "Can I come see you when I get out of here?"

"RJ..."

"Magkaibigan pa rin naman tayo di ba? Meng, alam kong pareho tayong nahihirapan. Can we at least try to help each other go through this as friends?" You asked. "Please..."

I sighed and turned to look at you again. "Yes." I nodded. "I guess we can do that."

You smiled. "Thank you. I'll see you then."

"Yes. See you." I smiled softly.

You gently touched your screen, your fingers slowly tracing my face. "I love you." You whispered.

"RJ... please don't."

"I'm sorry but I do. Ang hirap hindi sabihin." You said.

"Then maybe we shouldn't see each other yet." I answered with a pain in my chest.

"No. Please. I'm sorry." You sighed. "Pipigilan ko na. I'll see you, okay?"

"Okay."

"See you."

"See you. Bye." I said and ended the call.

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Unbeta'ed and not proofread. Thank you for reading.