Eh Yung Hindi Naman Tayo? DATI (COMPLETED)

EYHNTK- Forgiveness

March 21, 2018:

You inhaled deeply and buried your nose in my hair then exhaled slowly as you pulled me closer to your body. I, in turn, tightened my arms around your back and snuggled on your chest, inhaling the fresh scent of your perfume, as we swayed to the soft music in the background. 

"I miss you." You whispered and kissed my temple. 

I smiled softly and closed my eyes. "I miss you too." 

If any of my siblings were within earshot, I'm pretty sure we'd be the subject of relentless joshing and goading. Luckily, staying behind in the family room while we danced with Nanay and Tatay to old records played on the Victrola Mahogany Wood Nostalgic Turntable that we gave them as a gift for their wedding anniversary, was not their idea of after-dinner fun. They all remained downstairs in the living room to play Jenga and eat ice cream while Matti ran around and giggled. 

"Kumusta ka?" You asked and I snickered.

"Parang di tayo nagkikita. Araw-araw naman tayong magkasama ah." I looked up to your face and smiled.

"Oo." You sighed. "Pero madalas pagod na, konting lambing tapos matutulog na lang. Halos di na tayo nagkakausap. Sobrang  busy natin these past few days. Sunod-sunod ang pa-party sa'yo. Ilan nga yun? 4? Grabe siya. In between those, may barangay, tapings and shoots ka pa, online store na personally mina-manage mo for ADN scholars tapos ako naman ganoon din, pagkatapos ng isang commitment at meeting sa trabaho, may mga sampu pang kasunod, tapos gym araw-araw. Siguro yung pinakamatagal na nag-usap tayo, mga dalawang oras, madaling araw na yun. I distinctly remember na umuulan ng mura yun and I had to distract you from the thoughts of violently avenging what he did to me." You chuckled.

I laughed and hit your chest then whispered in your ear as my arms slowly crept up your arms and locked around your shoulders. "Well... That wart is lucky your methods of distraction are very effective, Mr. Faulkerson." I smirked when I heard your breath hitch as my lips brushed your earlobe.

"Ayaw ko lang na mapahamak ka, Menggay ko." You told me softly. 

"Hindi din. If it weren't for you, and your Saint Francis x Dalai Lama conviction to forgive that bastard, baka kung saan na yun pinulot." I snarled. "How was it so easy for you to forgive him? Binastos ka niya. He should pay for what he did to you."

Your dimple deepened and you bit your lip to stop a grin then cleared your throat. "I'm flattered. Really I am, Love. Sobrang ang gwapo ko." You chuckled. "Sobrang swerte ko talaga na I have you to stand up for me like that. And I can't say I didn't enjoy yung pag-usok ng ilong mo sa galit sa kaniya because you are extremely adorable pag nagagalit ka na parang dragon when it's not directed at me." You laughed then touched my face before speaking in a more serious tone. "But you don't need to do that for me, Love. Kaya ko ang sarili ko. Ako nga ang dapat gumagawa noon para sa'yo. I should be the one looking out for you."

"No. We look out for each other. Ikaw at ako, di ba? We got each other's backs." I told you. 

"Yes. Pero pwede bang i-limit natin yung mga taong hahamunin mo nang sapakan to females na hanggang 5'4'' lang ang taas? Baka kumasa eh. Katapang neto. Akala mo, kalaki mong tao." You chuckled and shook your head. "Pero seryoso..." You sighed and held my chin between your fingers as you looked into my eyes. "Tama na. Let's just forgive him."

"Because of that half-assed public apology. Ni hindi ka pa nga tinawagan. No way." I glared. "Ano siya? Sine-swerte?"

"Well, sine-swerte siya ngayon, coz he has your attention." You said and that made me stop and think. "So much of your energy now is built around your anger for him. Nasaktan din ako, oo. Nagalit. Galit na galit din ako, actually. I've never prayed harder in my life for God to keep me from acting on my anger. Sobrang pigil. I felt the struggle from the hate and I saw how that same hate was consuming you kaya sabi ko, let go na. We don't need anything from him, not even his apology. What we need is our peace and we can only have that if we let go of the anger." 

"So we're just going to let him get away with it? Na parang wala lang? Na parang wala siyang ginawang mali? Ganoon na lang yun?" I asked in disbelief. 

"No. Siyempre, hindi ganoon na lang yun, Love. Mali pa rin ang ginawa niya. Alam natin yun. For that reason, we can never trust him again. Hindi rin sa nagpapa-api tayo. Hindi pwede yun. Hindi ako papayag nang ganoon. Pero sa sitwasyon na ito, hindi tayo ang naapi, hindi tayo ang na-agrabyado. Sa ginawa niya, siya na ang nagpahamak sa sarili niya. Hindi ko na kailangan ng sincere apology from him bago ko siya patawarin. He's not worth losing my time and energy and values over, sa'yo din." You said as you cupped my cheeks. "Your kindness, your peace of my mind, your gentle and carefree spirit, I want to keep those in you. The longer you keep yourself from forgiving what he did, the more you lose those things inside you." 

I reached up and caressed your cheek then smiled softly. "For you, RJ ko, I forgive him. I can never be friends with him again, not the same way as before, but I will choose to keep our peace of mind." 

 "That's my girl." You smiled and  poked my nose.

"Mas masaya nga naman na walang galit na dinadala sa puso para sa kahit sino because there will be more room for my love for you." I sighed and looked at my parents who seem to be lost in their own world as they danced cheek to cheek. "You think ganyan din tayo pagtanda natin?"

 "I'm hopeful and I pray for it everyday." You leaned to touch our foreheads together. "I love you, Menggay ko."

"I love you more." I whispered and closed my eyes then let you kiss me slowly as we continued to dance to the song until there was only peace and love left in my heart for you. 

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Unbeta'ed and not proofread.

Finally, something after 3 days! huhuhu... Let's hope magtuloy but let's not keep our hopes up. Ito pa nga lang di pa ako masyadong happy. huhuhu... I'm trying. Still trying. Will keep on trying. 

P.S. Walang kinalaman ang Moon River sa chapter. It's just the first old song na pumasok sa isip ko that could be playing habang ume-eme sila at sumasayaw with the parentals. 

Thank you for reading.