Eh Yung Hindi Naman Tayo? DATI (COMPLETED)

Chasing Demons

I must have been standing for half an hour in front of your door and calling you fifteen times before you finally open the door. I hate to wake you up at such an ungodly hour but I need to see you. I need to hold you.

You rub your eyes, still very much sleepy, it is 3am on a Monday after all. You have just settled down to bed a couple of hours ago and is probably just catching some much needed sleep. I should feel bad for disturbing you but at the moment, I am more relieved to see you than anything.

You smile at me with droopy eyes that refuse to open fully for me. "RJ? What's wrong? Bakit nandito ka bigla? Parang kaka-good night lang natin ah."

I do not answer you. I try to grasp for an explanation but I cannot find the words to tell you exactly what I'm feeling at the moment. The need, the yearning, the fear I am feeling are just too overwhelming.

Instead, I step towards you, stand close to you, slip my hand on your nape, and inch my face closer to yours.

You step back into your condo unit, taking me with you.

With my lips still hovering on yours, our warm breaths mixing in our proximity and my eyes drifting from your twinkling brown orbs to your luscious lips then back, I kick the door shut and click the lock with one hand.

I move even closer towards you, pressing my body on yours, prompting you to rest your back against the wall and lean your head on my hand. "RJ..." You whisper and close your eyes.

I close my eyes. I let your sweet scent intoxicate me and your warmth seep through my clothes and titillate my skin, savoring every little thing about you, about this moment, about being with you. "Maine..." I mutter under my breath before touching my lips on yours.

I kiss you slowly, wholeheartedly, soulfully with every drop of love, passion and energy in my being, gently massaging my lips on your cottony kissers, lightly sucking on your lower lip, softly running the tip of my tongue along the opening of your mouth, tenderly coaxing it open and finally delving in when you do.

I pull you closer and you cling to my neck, leaning your whole weight against me, trusting me to keep you up when your knees fail you while I kiss you deeper and hungrier.

I'm not sure how long we stayed kissing. Must be 10? 15 minutes? What I know is we are both breathless when our lips parted with our eyes closed and our foreheads touching.

"Are you ready to talk about it?" You ask.

"Almost." I whisper and kiss you again before carrying you to the couch.

***

"How about now?" You ask with a giggle, some time later after countless kisses, as we lie cozily snuggling on the couch.

"Now? Ano?" I chuckle as I rub my nose on yours and seek your lips with mine once more.

You chomp your teeth and threaten to bite me so I pull away.

"Kiss na kiss. Sabihin mo muna kung bakit ka napasugod dito. I deserve an explanation." You roll your eyes and then chuckle for quoting a movie dialogue.

"Sorry na. Sarap mag-kiss eh. Isa pa please." I pucker my lips and you catch them between your fingers.

"Tell then kiss." You smirk.

I sigh and kiss your forehead instead. "Fine." I sigh and squeeze you tighter then nuzzle in your hair. "I had a bad dream."

"How bad?"

"Very bad." I sigh.

"Oh, poor baby. Kaya ba kay Mommy ka dumiretso?" You giggle as you rub my back but I can't get myself to smile at that joke because to me it isn't a laughing matter.

I am genuinely scared.

I pull away slightly from you so I can see your face and look into your eyes.

"Dumiretso ako dito because I was scared. I am scared. I just dreamt about my worst fear and I needed to be with you." I close my eyes and bite back a sob that rose to my throat.

"I'm sorry." You whisper and caress my cheek. "I didn't realize na ganito kabigat pala yung nararamdaman mo. It's okay to have fears. They are silent demons that haunt us and sometimes stop us from living a full and happy life."

"Nakakahiya na sinasabi ko to sa'yo ngayon baka isipin mo na sobrang weak ko."

I drop my head on your shoulder and snuggle closer to you as you gently run your fingers through my hair.

"No. Siyempre hindi ko yun iisipin. Lahat naman tayo may takot. We all have our demons kaya minsan we have to chase our demons and face our fears to overcome them. I'm here for you. We'll chase them away together, Love."

"What if my greatest fear is to lose you? Kaya ako nagkakaganito. Hindi ko kasi kaya yun eh. Hinding-hindi. I can't be without you, Love. Ikababaliw ko yun." I finally let go of the sob lodged in my throat and let the tears flow.

You quietly hold me for a while. Maybe the same fear loomed on you too or maybe you think I am overreacting.

"Takot din naman ako. Pareho tayo, RJ. Hindi ko kayang mawala ka. Mahal kita eh. Mahal na mahal." You say.

I look up to find you crying your own silent tears. I wipe them away, cup your face in my hands and kiss your eyes. "Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal kita, Menggay ko. Sobrang... I love you so much."

"I love you too." You whisper back and turn your face to kiss a palm that is on your cheek.

"Can I stay here? Parang hindi ko kayang malayo sa'yo kahit sandali muna." I ask.

"Of course. You can stay here hanggang gusto mo?" You answer.

"What if I want to stay beside you forever and never let you out of my sight?" I ask.

"Simple. Stay forever and keep your eyes on me." You smile. "We will hold each other's hand and face our fears together with faith in our hearts that God is always on our side and will keep us stronger together." 💛

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Unbeta'ed and not proofread. Thank you for reading.