Endings and Beginnings

Chapter 37

"Hey, baby." Meryl had Liz help her into a chair next to Don's side of the bed and she leant forward to kiss his lips. "I sure do love those warm lips; but I want them to kiss me back. You always say how it's your favorite sport." Nothing. No response. Meryl took a deep breath as she ran her fingers through his hair. "I haven't said anything to you about this because all I want is for you to feel love and positive energy; but I know about some of the things the kids said to you. I don't know why, Don Man; because you seriously are an amazing father. Suze was pretty pissed at them; but I guess you know that. When she told me you left and they then told me some of what they told you I was furious. I just needed to get to you. We can talk about the rest later." Meryl wiped away her tears; glad he couldn't see just what remembering seeing his car slammed into a tree did to her. "Suze was amazing. We have an amazing goddaughter and daughter-in-law; and I guess she kicked Henry's ass. I told Larry to tell them that nothing will EVER change how much we love them and that we will always be there for them; but I needed space, I still do. Not from you, baby; never, I don't want you to think that. I guess while Suze and I were looking for you the kids came around and realized how awful they were to you; and that what they said came to you from fear. I don't care; they need to get a handle on that shit and REMEMBER they fucking lucked out in the father department just as I did in the husband department." Meryl looked at her husband and there was no movement. "Well, I guess they sent a letter up here to us with Suze who brought us some things from the house. I don't know if this is a good decision to read this to you or not; but I want us to read it together. I asked Liz and Larry to take the babies out so I could have a few moments alone with my guy. I hope this will make you feel better and maybe bring you around a little quicker. You know how selfish I am when I just need to look into those gorgeous blue eyes of yours." Still no response so she just kissed his forehead. "Okay baby, here we go..."

Dear Mom and Dad,

This is all of us; well, the three of us that have royally screwed up. We aren't just saying we screwed up because of what has happened to both of you; but because as soon as we saw these pictures, we knew."

"Pictures?" Meryl asked as she looked in the envelope and had to swallow hard. There was a picture of the 10 of them the weekend before at Brad and Jane's wedding. Then there was a picture of Don and Meryl in bed as she nursed one baby, he held one and they were gazing lovingly at each other as they kissed. Meryl smiled as she remembered that day and Don taking those pictures. She then saw one she had never seen before. It was her and Don looking at each other, laughing, with their heads together; it was obviously taken at the wedding. Meryl wiped her tears when she could see the love between them emanate from that picture. "You need to open your eyes, baby, so you can see this last one. It will definitely be framed, my love." Meryl went on to read the letter.

The two of you are an inspiration to us. All of us. As we were talking we talked about that Christmas when Lou was just born the summer before and how Gracie was afraid to let Dad out of her sight because she was told all daddies left; but not OUR dad, NEVER our dad. We talked about how she was probably afraid Dad would leave because that wasn't our family. We have always had the happiest and most stable childhood and family life because of the two of you. When headlines and rumors and trips and movies and installations and exhibits could have torn our lives apart neither of you would let it. You BOTH are the most amazing parents. We could have grown up to be these spoiled, entitled brats but that didn't happen. We had chores. We volunteered in soup kitchens. We worked through college. We've bought our own homes. All because our well-being is more important to you both than anything. You have always put us first; but now it is YOUR time and we aren't used to it. We aren't used to not knowing everything. So, when something happens that is the opposite of what we're used to we are terrified we are going to lose our amazing family and parents; just like Gracie was 20 years ago. Our fear comes out wrong; and Dad has been the punching bag which is NOT right. Also, because we know no matter what Dad will always be there for us. Well, he almost wasn't. You both almost weren't because of our actions. Suze was right, apologizing isn't going to fix it this time so it is time we grew up. It's time we KNOW that every decision you make is about ALL of us; and we do, we do know that. We know that yes, you are our parents; but you two share something that is only written and dreamed about. We know that we ALL are always protected because our father is Donald Gummer. We know that we couldn't have a better family even if we tried to write about one. We know that the love you two share is NOT about control or duty; it is about a deeply rooted love, a partnership. To say we feel awful is putting it mildly. Our family was torn apart today; and we have only ourselves to blame. As much as it is killing us to stay away we completely understand and we deserve it. We aren't going back to the city, and not just because of the weather; when you are ready to see us we will be at the house and will be up there as soon as we can. Thank you. Thank you for making us feel safe. Thank you for making us feel loved. Thank you for making us feel treasured. We hope we will have the opportunity to make you both feel the same. We love you BOTH, so much; and we are so so so very sorry.