Endings and Beginnings

Chapter 11

Don sat up and looked around: the baby's bassinet was still next to his side of the bed, Meryl's cardigan she had worn earlier was at the end of the bed as well as burp cloths and receiving blankets. It had to have been a nightmare; that was the only explanation. She couldn't be gone. He couldn't have become James; it just couldn't have happened. He buried his face in his hands as he sobbed and his body shook. "No, no, no, no, no."

"Don! Sweetheart?" Meryl rushed into the room as she saw her larger than life husband sitting up in bed, shaking, and sobbing into his hands. "Baby, what is it? Did you have a nightmare?"

Don immediately pulled her to him but she gasped in pain; he was furious at himself he was so rough with her only a week after she had two life saving surgeries. "Wasn't thinking...didn't mean to hurt...you."

"I'm fine, sweetheart. You would NEVER hurt me." Meryl said trying to breath through the pain as she ran her fingers through his damp curly hair. "Sweetheart, what happened? You are shaking and soaked in sweat. You were screaming for me and the babies."

Don looked around again. "Where are they? Did I run them away?"

"What?" Meryl wasn't following. "Of course not; they're not running anywhere without us. They woke up fussy and I was afraid they would wake you up because you need your sleep, so I took them into the nursery and put them in their bouncy seats to play with them. They're perfect, baby."

Don looked at his babies on her phone monitor as she showed it to him. "I need them; I need you."

"We need you too, sweetheart." Meryl really didn't know what was going on; but she was desperate for him to calm down. "Baby, you're going to hyperventilate. You need to take some deep breaths for me."

Don tried but he couldn't. "You didn't die? You aren't buried in Mason's Island? The kids don't hate me because I killed you by getting you pregnant. I know Henry blames me; and I know I didn't protect you like I should have, like I have always promised."

"Donald Gummer, you ALWAYS protect me and ALL of our children with every breath you take." Meryl choked as she kissed all over his face. As much as she wanted to comfort her husband she also wanted to kill her older children for blaming him for her getting pregnant and possibly dying. Though he said he was over it she knew he wasn't; especially after she flatlined. "There is no one to blame. You have given me two amazing miracles, Donald Gummer. The best gifts ever."

Don tried to get up. "I need to hold them, Meryl. Please don't be afraid for them to be around me. I really would never hurt them. I'm not a drunk. I'm not violent. I wouldn't hurt any of you. I was just lost when you died."

"Whoa, Don Man; you need to sit down." Meryl said as she caught Don when he tried to get up but was unsteady. "You would NEVER hurt ANY of us; and I would NEVER leave you, baby, not ever."

Don cried harder. "I need to hold them. I need them, and you, to know that I love you all more than anything."

"I know that better than I know my own name." Meryl gave him her phone. "You watch them on that while I go get them; okay? I will be right back."

Don looked at her with lost eyes. "You promise you'll come back with them?"

"Nothing could EVER keep me away." Meryl choked with a kiss to his lips. "Watch for me on there; we will be right back. I love you so much, my fierce protector. Just so you know, when I flatlined and came back I knew what was happening. I wasn't just fighting for myself and the kids; I was fighting for YOU, for US. YOU brought me back. NEVER forget that."

Don nodded as he tried to calm down. "I love you so damn much."

"I know that; I promise, I do." Meryl said placing one more kiss on his lips. "We'll be right back."