My Hell

January 16, 2018 (Tuesday)

Sometimes I wonder, where are most of my friends when I need them? When shit goes down, I try to be there for them. But when shit happens to me, or when I'm not feeling good, where are they? 

Some people ask me why i'm so mad all the time. Simple answer, my life. So if you can't deal with it, simply fuck off. 

I don't even know what to write right now, but my mind is rushing. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. 

I'm going to try to force myself to cry, because for some reason, that always helps. Just letting everything out after a long period of time. 

I have so much rage built up inside, its unhealthy. I want to cry until there is nothing left.

I have my music on 100.. 

I found out today I need braces. One of my teeth grew in 180 degrees, as in backwards. 

I really hate fucking people so much. 

You know, Tom finally realized the time gap in our talking. But it doesn't matter anymore. I really just wanna smash something with a hammer. I'm gritting my teeth, trying to cry, but I can't. I fucking can't. Stubborn ass tears. Goddamn it. I don't. I can't. I want to be fine, but I can't. 

I can't find a sad enough song. I need something or someone to knock me down. I need to let this rage go. I swear, whenever it decides to be less cold, I will go on a long run, I will scream at the top of my lungs. Hopefully by then I will have a new phone. 

I actually had a lot of my readers request for me to write more today. But i'm sorry guys...I just can't. Not today. Just....I need my brain to be a little less fried first....

~Calli >:(