My Hell

January 19, 2018 (Friday)

Sometimes, people really piss me off. 

If I ask you to explain something to me, because I really don't understand, why must you make it a bigger thing? If I ask you to take it to DMs with me, so it doesn't have to be out there like that. 

Please don't after go into my DMs to apologize with something like this: 
"Sigh. Whatever. I wasn't attacking, just saying what I thought and I'm sorry if it looked like I was mean"

In my insight, I saw it as pushing you opinion to be fact. I do not appreciate this. I pulled myself out of the argument, told you, you could win it, and you continued to. But when someone explained their opinion, you called them white knights like it was an insult. I did not ask for their aid. I didn't ask for them to do that. But its still not a big deal. 

I don't understand why age had to be included in anyways. You say you think i'm 17, but you said it like I was below you. "I'm to lazy to argue with a 17 year old." First of all, you don't know my fucking age. And even if you did, i'm not below you. I'm not below anyone. I'm sorry that i'm not perfect. But I also stepped out of it. I choose to be the bigger person, but you did continue it. 

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So, I know you readers do not know what I am going on about, so here is what happened in dms, I will give this person the name of Ray. I don't know how to explain her, other then she always has some problem with me. A little bit ago, she told me she read my blog and said if I needed someone to talk to, I could talk to her. I'm not sure about that. If I did not trust her before, now I really don't trust them. 

I'm not numb anymore. I had a shitty day today. I just wanted to talk to my friends. I wanted to be ok. So, when this started, I felt attacked, I actually started to cry. I honestly thought, I would be able to vent to my friends, I thought I would feel better talking to them. I only let a few tears out though. I don't want this. I didn't ask to be attacked. I didn't ask for a shitty day. I didn't ask for my life to be hard. I didn't ask for this stress. Doesn't mean I didn't get it. I got all of it. 

I just want to relax. I don't need the extra stress. 

I'm not lower then anyone. I believe that everyone is an equal. Doesn't matter where you come from, your race, sex, gender, identity, or any crimes that you have committed, you are an equal. So I will not tolerate being shown as lower then you. I'm not evil. I'm not going to hurt you, so why do you choose to attack me? Why do you think I'm a good target? No one should be targeted. You want me to prove my believe in this? I don't use people's real names besides mine. I don't give out Larry's name to people no matter how many people have asked for it. Because I do not believe in targeting. I do not believe that anyone should be lower then anyone. 

We all have opinions and prejudices, but I do not believe someone or a group of people should be targeted for it. 

Today, in school actually, we learned where the Bystander effect comes from. It comes from a case that happened to a woman named Kitty Genovese. Yes, that is her real name. I use her real name because she is dead, and so if you want more information, you can look her up. I'm going to tell you about her a bit so you can understand the brutality. 

**Warning skip ahead if you do not like gore or are sensitive to rape, murder, or blood**

Kitty Genovese was a normal woman, who was headed back to her apartment after work one day. She was only 100 feet from her apartment when she saw a man holding a hunting knife walking towards her. She started to run, and her attacker chased her. A woman screamed out, "Stop! Leave that poor girl alone!" She made it to a hallway before she was stabbed in the back twice. She was then raped, and left for dead. There were about 38 witnesses, not any of them rushed to help or called the police. This is known as the bystander effect.