ALmost Lost

Chapter 21- Thought conflicts (Drug influence)

Justin's POV

We rushed into the hotel trying not to be followed by the paparazzi and got up to our room. Rosalyn kept her head down the whole time so nobody would notice the cut on her lips and I did too since my eyes probably were drugged. We walked into the room in silent as I didn't know what to say. Once we got in Rosalyn immediately walked off to the bedroom without saying a word. And I couldn’t blame her; it was obvious that she didn't want to have any contact with me either cause she still feared me. and what happened tonight made it worse.  I sighed watching her walk to the room as I laid down my keys and phone on the counter. I passed a hand through my hair as the happening from the club came back to me.

Only remembering what took place makes my muscles tense back up in anger and makes me wanna go all the way back to that bastard to finish him off! He had no fucking permission to do what he did to Rosalyn!! I should have known that he would have tried something! I couldn't explain how angry I felt when I saw Za trying to take Rosalyn out of her will. I couldn’t explain what had gotten into me at that moment either but I swear if they hadn’t stopped me I would have gladly killed him with my bare hands without having any regrets. And I still would. But as Za Said, This isn’t over! He would want payback and I will be more than happy to confront him whenever he pleases! I looked down at my hands as I noticed they were lightly trembling from anger and I had some bloods splattered on my knuckles. It wasn’t much so I quickly wiped it off before walking into the bedroom after Rosalyn.

As soon as I got into the bedroom I noticed she had the bathroom door slightly open, just enough that I could see that she was cleaning up the blood on her lip. I watched her carefully as she dipped away the blood. She made pained faces as she tried to touch the cut. I sighed shaking my head as I couldn't help but feel bad. Before I knew it my feet were already walking me over to where Rosalyn was. This fucking drug was making me act in advance of my thoughts. I opened up the door to the bathroom slowly as I approached her. As she saw me she instantly froze looking at me wide eyed and I stood still for a second. I looked down trying to cover the disappointment in my eyes. It kinda felt like it shut down an engine in me seeing her immediately get intimidated by me.

I don't blame her for reacting like that though; I've earned this real hard. Ignoring her scared look, I made my way pass her to the bathroom counter taking out a small towel. Dipping it under water, then started cleaning up the cut for her. It was obvious that my action caught her off guard since she just stood there in silent looking at me surprised but I couldn’t care. I stupidly felt responsible for this and it felt right to do this. As I cleaned up some stained bloods on her chin I couldn't help but stare at her beautiful face features. My vision was at its best right now and it was like I could focus on each and every single detail on her face. From the smallest freckles on her cheeks to the beautiful mint chocolate color from her eyes. 

This was also another phase of the drug; where I could deeply concentrate on really small things. She was indeed beautiful. Not that I didn't know this but I think that I just never really mind it. She had mesmerizing brown chocolate eyes; those ones you could stare at forever and easily make you bow down for them. Her skin that were just so flawless and clean. The fullness of her cheeks that reminded me of Selena. Her lips that were so soft and filled, that makes you carefully want to taste them. Without knowing I started leaning in and she just stood there looking at me curiously. The strays of hair that adorably hung down in her face. She was undoubtedly breathtakingly beautiful. But she wasn't Selena! A rush of disappointment and anger drained into my body causing me to back off as I realized this.

Shit! What was I doing? I don’t even know what I was saying or doing anymore. Rosalyn’s expression turned from surprised to confused but I couldn't budge. I threw down the towel on the sink and started walking out of the bathroom. "The bandages are in the closet" I managed to speak out before I got out of the bathroom to the living room. I leaned against the bar as I breathed deep. Thousands of things flew in my mind at the same time but I had to get my shit under control. I knew this was that drug getting the best of me now and I couldn't stop it. Now the happening with Za seemed like a total mistake to me! I shouldn’t have done that! I shouldn’t have showed her that I care because I don’t!