ALmost Lost

Chapter 31- Truthful feelings

Rosalyn’s POV

I got to the bus fast, immediately making my way to the room and slammed the door behind me. I plopped myself onto the bed as my tears automatically start to flood the pillow. Damn it!! I hate my life! I hate all this! Why do I have to go through all this!!? Why me!!! Just then I heard a small knock on the door which slightly made me jump as I didn’t expect it. Justin doesn't knock definitely. “Who is it!?” I shouted. “It’s me Pattie” Patties small voice said from behind the door making me immediately soften my way of talking. “Come in” I said more calmly as I quickly wipe away my tears so Pattie wouldn’t see them. I heard the door get opened up slowly and Pattie’s light food steps came in. “Hey honey, I saw everything” Pattie’s calming voice said as she came and sat on the bed beside me. Really? She did? Oh great! She must think I am a horrible person now.

“I’m sorry, it’s just-” I started trying to apologize but Pattie cut me off before I could finish. “No, it’s okay I totally understand what happened back there and Justin didn’t make it any better” Pattie said covering my hands in hers. Pattie does understand for me. At that exact time I thought of telling her everything else! Everything that Justin has done from the very beginning until now. But I shook the thought away as Pattie continued talking. “I just came to tell you that I’m sure you didn’t say those awful things to those girls for nothing, you are an amazing girl and they must have gotten you to say those things to them” Pattie said continuing to pat my hands in such comfort that made me lightly smile at her. She was honestly the greatest woman ever! I could never find the words to describe just how great she was! I just don’t know how come she got that monster as a son.

“I know some fans can get really out of line sometimes but you just got to ignore them and as for Justin; it’s just that when it comes to his fans he’s really cautious” Pattie pointed out, trying to make it right for what happened. If she only knew that what’s happening now goes beyond all this. It was way worse than Justin just being cautious with his fans! It was Justin abusing me and keeping me here out of my will!! That’s what this is all about. And after all the things I’ve had from Justin this was the minor one. But I could see that it really bothered Pattie the way things went on because her eyes suddenly radiated honest sadness. I frowned at Patties sudden change in moods. It was the first time I see Pattie this sad and I did not know what to do about it.

But I didn't have to react as Pattie spoke by herself. “You know there was this time when, Justin wasn’t at his best; we considered he was suffering severe case of depression judging by his behavior but he would deny it and he would deny help. No one, not even his friends could lighten him up, he was uncontrollable.” Pattie spoke, sadness clearly audible in her voice. I looked at her out of words. Not only did I not know what to say but I also didn't want to break her story. She looked down before trailing off again into the story. It was like she was visualizing what she was going to say, like she can see it happen all over again and it brought pain to her as her eyes softly started to become glassy.

“He seemed completely lost… And as a mom you can’t imagine how hard it was to watch my son practically destroy himself…..His fans were the only ones that kept him going, they were the only source that kept him mentally stable. He relied on them and fully dedicated himself to his fans through his music, letting them know what he feels and what he’s going through: He brought them deep by heart and would listen only to them but then came you” Pattie stated as she looked up at me with a light smile through her tear-filled eyes. I could hear it in her voice that she was being completely sincere and open with me. For the first time I truly didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t help but to look down out of reflex. But Pattie softly took my cheeks in both her hands before she continues.