MiLoh BSGSSB Adventures

Always a Part of the Symphonic Band❤

Xuan's POV

Dear Diary,
I heard from Yokie that one of those poor younglings in the Band are suffering. Apparently the girl had the same problem as me,which is to quit Band if she failed anything. Of course,she probably isn't as CRAAAZZYY enthu as me about Band,but it still hurts. :(

The girl is now dismissed every Wednesday from Band,and she comes to my stall after school every Wednesday to talk about Band. She's in...oboe section i think,and she's pretty good. She came to me one day,looking mournful. "It's Wednesday,isn't it?"i asked. I usually don't keep track of the days in the week anymore,the only thing i depend on is which day has Band. The sweetheart nodded and i invited her inside my stall. I closed the shutter to pretend i was shutting early. After all,nobody really comes to my stall during lunchtime. No time to blow the steam rising from the porridge,i guess.

The girl,who i affectionately called Allisa,had brought her oboe. That was precisely what i would have done if i didn't play such a huge and heavy instrument. (Then again,i'd love to try and take the tuba home.) She somehow managed to assemble it without anybody staring at her,and she would hold on to it while speaking with me. I had told her that i had the same problem as her when i was her age,therefore she could speak with me if she wanted. "My Dad wants me to go for Science tuition on Wednesdays."she said. "But i don't want to go. I can work by myself! And besides,i hate that Science tuition would be replacing oboe tuition!!" I sighed. I felt the exact same way.

"Well you know darling,as much as you hate tuition you still have to go for it."i said. "It's to help you improve. I know it's tough,i went through it too." Allisa looked up at me,her big innocent eyes already begging for more information. "I had Math tuition every Wednesday when i was your age. I felt just as resentful as you:why should something so horrible take over something so joyous? Even more,the people who DIDN'T have to quit Band were taking it for granted in the sense that they weren't cherishing their time in the Band."i said. "But this was the way it was. And i had to deal with it somehow. So i made sure i had a mental image of my tuba stuck in my head,and mental sounds of it swimming in my head all the time. This was the only way i could deal with my confinement." She looked at me like as if she wanted to cry,and i immediately hoped that what i said wasn't too harsh on her.

"Some of my friends say that i'm....not considered a Band member since i don't always attend practices."she said,sniffling a bit. I was shocked. Now which friends were these and which section were they in?! Nobody should be that unkind to anyone. "That is totally untrue. We all are Band members here,no matter how many practices you attend. From the moment Ms Diya passed you the oboe during audition you were already destined to be in the Band."i said.

"And once a Band nerd,always a Band nerd."

She smiled at me. Though her eyes still reflected sadness,i could see a certain brightness. And it was true. The days i had trudged outside the school,going home for tuition,i'd see Clarice or other tutors for Band,and although i wasn't in school,i still greeted them. To them it must have been weird,but it felt only natural. It was already hard enough for me to have to drag myself home everyday for something that made me unhappy. I could feel my legs grow heavy,as if the Band room was a magnet and i was the magnetic object,and i was dragging myself beyond the field of attraction. When i turned around,my legs already had the light sensation to run back to the Band room crying,as if they were attracted to the invisible magnet in the Band room. To never leave again. To hug the tuba with all my might,apologising and telling it,"I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU AGAIN!!!" But it couldn't. I couldn't. I had to plow on if i wanted to stay there for good.

Allisa attached her reed to the oboe and started playing a beautiful melody she had learnt,and i closed my eyes and listened with my heart. Flashbacks of my Secondary School life flooded my sight:me getting hit by Ms Siew for no reason,me running 15 rounds because i hit the bell of my tuba on a chair,me accidentally bringing the valve oil home....it was like i was young again. But then again when i was,i never really was. The weight of wanting to stay in Band was so intense,and i slogged every night to revise my homework,only to find pimples,due to stress,appearing and dark circles forming around my eyes. I looked older than i was because i had aged so much in the process of trying to improve. It's kind of like someone trying to cling on to youth,or something that makes them beautiful and happy,but getting older and older through the years as they try to cling on desperately. You know,a bit like Mother Gothel from Rapunzel:A Tangled Tale.

As beautiful music filled my ears and soul,i only realised that even though i had been plowing through each day,fighting to get my happiness back,it was because of passion,and a hope i never lost. Band was like a family to us,and fighting to get back to your family is accurate enough. We are separated by instruments,but united by music. Seeing the same people everyday almost makes you think you're related to them. Which you are,in a way.

I looked at Allisa,calmly playing the only music she could with her memory of Band on Wednesdays. "Take this as a battle."i said softly. My supportive Band teacher had once said this to me,and i felt that i should repeat it to the future generation. "Take this as a battle. You are fighting a war,and...i will fight this war with you."

Signed
Xuan