Danganronpa OC Reviews (CLOSED)

Http-Stxrs : Akime Arenzo

Thanks for sending in your OC!

Name: Akime Arenzo (or Aki for short)
I like her name!

Gender: She is a female, but considers becoming neutral.
By neutral, I'm guessing you mean nonbinary? Or is it something different?

Age: 16

Sexuality: She is pansexual, she believes that everyone deserves love no matter what gender they are.
Cute!

Ultimate/SHSL: Test Subject
That's a really interesting talent, I think it could lead to some interesting plot lines if it was in a story!

Appearance: Http-Stxrs sent me an image of her so I'll describe her for casual readers: she has cropped black hair that reaches just past her chin, with a side fringe and olive-coloured eyes. She wears a blue button-up shirt and a cream lab coat or cardigan (I'm guessing)? It's a very simple design but I like it! The only issue I have is that maybe give her some more elements which show her talent? Bandages somewhere, maybe a scar? Even motifs on her coat or shirt like a needle or something would be good!

Personality: Aki, at first, seems very innocent and shy.  She is, however, very upset with everyone around her and wants to leave no matter what.
I like that you describe her as innocent and shy. However, I find her personality is a bit short. How about her likes and dislikes? Is she stubborn or naive? Does she get angered easily or is she calm? How patient is she?
The way she reacts to being put in the Killing game doesn't really count as a personality trait. If you want her to be upset with everyone around her, maybe give it a reason? Possibly she lost faith in humanity as a result of being tested on? Otherwise, it's a great start!

Nationality: Japanese

Backstory: Aki had grown up in a lab, hence her Mother being a scientist.  Her and her brother had been constantly tested on, but Aki was the best at it.  She had a lack of emotion during tests, and no fear of needles.
Was it inhumane or humane testing? If her Mother was a scientist, what was she studying and why was she testing on her own children? I like the addition of Aki having a lack of emotion, and no fear of needles. Again, it's a great start, but she needs to be a bit more fleshed out as a character if you truly want to make an OC out of her. You want the reader to know the ins and outs of your character. Why they act like they do. What experiences led them to being who they are now. Their likes and dislikes. Any random info, like that they have a strange obsession with something or other due to a childhood memory, or that they don't like a certain thing because of a traumatic experience. By 'traumatic experience' I'm not talking devastating, family-killing trauma. I'm more talking about things like having a fear for...I dunno...chairs? Because the character fell out of one when they were little and hit their head. (Stupid example, I know)

Reaction to seeing death: Aki smiles at first, but then realises how bad she might look.  She then would run away from the body.
Why does she smile? Is it a nervous tick, like if something bad happens sometimes people will laugh? Running away could lead to an interesting trial where she becomes a suspect because she ran away, and the killer planted evidence for her.

How would they kill: Aki would kill the victim via poison, then take the body to another location.
I like that. Does she have a knowledge of poison because of her past as a test subject? Or is it just an easy way to have as little evidence as possible? Taking the body to another location is a good idea in terms of her being able to frame someone else for the murder, especially if she had the time to plant false evidence.

Aki is on the way to becoming a really interesting character, but I would love to see her backstory and personality more fleshed out. Her talent is very cool and I haven't seen it done before!
As I don't have all that much information on Aki, I can only score her on what I've read about her so far.

Personality: 5/10
Character Design: 6/10
Originality: 7/10
Backstory: 5/10
Overall: 6.5/10

I would love to see how Aki's character grows!  A few tips I would have if you're struggling to work out what you want from her is:
- Take ideas from your own life experiences.  For example, with my OC, Alex, I took my own knowledge of being a woodworking student as well as my life experiences with using recycled pallets and fences to add some depth to her backstory.  I also took my own stubbornness and gave it to her as a personality trait, and if you read my fanfiction (shameless self promo) you'll see that her stubbornness comes into play many times as both a bad and good thing.
- Research!  If you don't fully understand how being a test subject works, or what field of science/whatever Aki's Mother is studying needs human subjects, maybe do some research about it?  I'm not talking google deep diving or spending years focusing on one thing.  For a fandom OC, unless you're planning to go very deeply into her backstory, I'm sure just a couple of google searches would really help.  If you really wanted to, you could always just relate Aki's Mother to the bigger picture and have her researching Hope and Despair!
- The Family and the Friends.  In real life, a person is shaped by their surrounding circumstances.  Did Aki have a good or bad relationship with her brother, Mother, and, if she has one, Father?  Does she have friends?  How has her communication, or lack thereof, with the rest of the world affected her ability to trust or distrust others.  Is she awkward around other people?  Afraid of strangers?  Is her Mother the 'bad guy' or the 'good guy' for testing on her children?  How has that affected Aki?

Anyway, I've been rambling for too long haha.
I wish you the best with your OC, and I would love to see her grow and become a proper character!  Don't be afraid to send her back in if you want to have her reviewed after you've added some stuff.  If you want some help building character, maybe read some of the reviews I've given to others!
As I've said before, however, I am just a rando on the internet telling people they're doing things wrong ahahaha.
Have fun with Aki, and if you think she's perfect on her own, then that's perfectly fine!
Once again, thanks for sending in your OC for a review!